Brian Asshat, Chutney on the Fritz's most colourful character will spend today curating his pencil shavings, after sneezing on them last night. 'Yes, it is a complete nightmare' wrote Brian on his blog 'I sneezed, and my carefully curated collecti…
Meteorologists, insurance executives, military officials, and first responders around the world are frantically purchasing Sharpies pens by the crate. Apparently, the arms race for Sharpies has been triggered by President Trump, when he used one to...
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Un has admitted that he is obsessed with missiles. Ever since he was a little boy he used to play with yellow #2 pencils and pretend that they were SAM (Surface-to-Air) missiles. His mother even took him to a t...
For the last few years, scientists have been exploring the properties and possible uses of graphene, the new wonder material made of an atom-thick layer of carbon. It promises to herald a revolution in materials and electronics development. Howev...
Government and health officials are being urged to take action over safety issues relating to propelling pencils. The call comes after a weekend when a local man "narrowly escaped death" while trying to replace the lead in his Yard-O-Led pencil.
Though there were others in the late 1800's who invented the vulcanized rubber that could erase a lead pencil mark, it was Boris Tadeth, tire design engineer and frequent patron of the Kit Kat Club in New Jersey, who created the round, pink pencil er...
The reason behind the recent bloodshed raging between North and South Korea, has been sensationally revealed by our man in the field Lenny Presbatyn. Lenny told us by crackly video-phone, this afternoon "I have discovered that a high ranking offic...
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