DALLAS – (Satire News) – One of the nation’s largest airlines has just announced that it will be cancelling hundreds of flights. A spokesperson for Southwest told Dan Harwood, with the Scuttlebutt Review, that the reason is due to the pretzel and…
The world is in deep mourning after a young Indonesian lady was paid a couple of measly $ Bucks to top a Kim; however having removed Kim Mark II is small consolation because the world needs Mark 1 removed not Mark II. However, there is an ancient...
SAVANNAH, Georgia - Savannah peanut farmer Calhoun Cataloggins has been growing and selling peanuts since September of 1984. And in those 30 years he figures that he has probably eaten over 5,475 pounds of the little darlings. Calhoun met Roxan...
The comic strip Peanuts first appeared in newspapers on October 2, 1950. It was written by Charles M. Schulz. Initially the comic strip only included one character, an 8½-year-old boy named Charlie Brown. But Schulz quickly realized that one little boy would not be enough to carry a comic strip that was read nationwide. And soon other characters arrived. Some came and went never to be see...
TALLAHASSEE, Florida (ABSNN) - The Florida Secretary of State certified today that Barack Obama won the state's election by a razor-thin margin of 74,000 votes. Tea Party freshman Congressman, Allen West, was defeated by fewer than 3,000 votes b...
Finally there will be no more need for the warning on packaging that indicates that the product 'May Contain Nuts' as scientists at Lancaster University have isolated the allergen that causes the allergy [as opposed an allergen that doesn't? - ED].
Charlie Brown of the comic strip 'Peanuts' fame grew up to be a manager of a Seven Eleven and invested much of his meager salary in stocks during the nineties. When the economic collapse of 2008 hit his stock savings were wiped out, he lost his small suburban house and almost ended up homeless. He spent many nights musing over what had gone wrong. Lucy Van Pelt (Lucy from Peanuts) grew up to be...
TUCSON - The Arizona Plane and Passenger Watchers Federation has just fined Trans Latin American Airlines, which is based in Panama City, Panama, on account two of the flight attendants were serving Spanish Peanuts to the passengers. Sherman Flick...
Presley Carter, the grandson of Billy Carter, was arrested in Nagales, Arizona not far from the Mexican border while trying to smuggle an undetermined amount (at press time) of cocaine inside a package of peanuts. "He told us that he had went to...
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