(NOT EDITED) 2020 comes to an end, Bob Dylan has sold his musical rights for $300 million bucks, pandemic is still biting our arses, Brexit is pathetic, Man United too, so, here we go!!
2020 was not much fun
Apres-ski morons in…
I've much to be glad for, like my personal assistants Julian and Lucien,
Ffion the Mrs, and Wilberforce, my cosmetic beautician,
My overseas investments in Germany, Saudi Arabia and the Aleutian,
And the fact that I'm a billionaire politician!
Now Christmas approaches, time to share and give to the poor,
That's what they say, but I think that idea is a bore,
The proletariat masses, drunken...
"Who is the best Minister in my government?" said Cameron, "who's also a multi-millionaire?......"
"Me me!" shouted Willy Hague, waving his brassiere in the air,
"And I'm also bendable, and a billionaire!"
Nick Clegg raised his hand, "Me, and even as your lackey I'm still debonair!"
"But in case I'm not right, I'll set up a questionnaire!"
George Osborne lied again, saying he was cleve...
This ode about MPs might just make you affright,
In fiddling, lying, and nepotism they delight,
MPs consume Caviar and not toast and Marmite,
Their cons and excuses for fiddling are so erudite,
They vary in loyalties and actions, from Thatcherite,
Communist, Tree-huggers, Luddite's, and the odd Jacobite,
Even the odd honest one, playwright or transvestite,
They steal and fiddl...
The Coalition was formed, with the Lib-Dems & Tory shower,
Clegg joined with Cameron, to get them into power,
Making Clegg suicidal, as he has to kotower,
Their political views, pretender to concur.
No rise in VAT, they both assured the voting hoards,
But it was agreed there would be by the political Lords,
More fact-finding holidays to the Norwegian fjords,
Amidst many resulting infi...
Hayley Taylor said the millions of unemployed Need carrots, not sticks!
And help to understand the messages from the Government dicks,
Not bullying, threatening, mocking or dirty Government tricks,
And their volatile confusing verbal acrobatics!
Liam Fox MP was dignified, but still disgraced, this week don't you know,
His resignation as Defence Secretary must have been a blow,
To his frien...
We thought it worth printing, as a warning to the younger generation, and an example of lousy poetry.
The memory goes, most times you go into the bedroom or den,
And stand there thinking 'What did I come in here for then?"
You'll misplace and lose things repeatedly, again and again,
Forever losing your hearing aids, spectacles and pen,
You may even forget the names of the children y...
The following communication was received in our mail box this month, from one of our more mature readers.
The other morning, whilst I was preparing my delicate facial features for their daily shave, I could not help but notice the corrosion and disintegration those facial features had undergone in recent years. I began to dream up questions I'd like to ask the mirror, and afterwards I penned th...
This months winner of the Littlend Gazette Political Ode competition, was the only entry received.
Sent in by Ms Barb Dwyer, of Hampton Virginia.
Most of them display a great persistency in loquacity,
The fiddle their expenses, as if it was a necessity,
They regularly lie with open uncaring audacity,
Their hatred for the proletariat shows great capacity,
As sent in to us by Iam Skint, of Upper Denture Cemetery.
The odd MP will be a Europhile,
The odd MP will be antimissile,
The odd MP will be a bibliophile,
The odd MP will be like a crocodile,
The odd MP will be a homophile,
The odd MP will be erstwhile,
The odd MP will be infantile,
The odd MP will be infertile
The odd MP will be very hostile,
The odd MP will be a paedophile,
MY THOUGHTS ON MP's Today
Our beloved crooked MP's, got elected using lies, nepotism, and audacity,
Along with astucity, loquacity, Daddies money, and much pugnacity,
The rich ones got selected for office, where they use their verbosity,
No one questioned their morals, nihilism, greed, or alcoholicity,
They hang on to office using bribes, lies, backhanders and speciosity,
The latest submission to the Upper Denture Gazette Ode competition, by Inchcock, presented for your perusal.
Beloweth you will find an ode written,
About the Coalition, with whom I'm not smitten,
Found on the back of the Beano, handwritten,
In the hope that someone will listen!
The Coalition was formed, and austerity they did enforce,
It didn't stop the MPs from going to Ascot racecour...
In this issue we bring you the winning entry in the 'Upper Denture Gazette', in their 'In Memory Of..' series competition this month. It was penned by Inchcock Chambers, who was unable to attend the award ceremony at the 'Upper Denture Arms snug', as his monthly sanity tests are due at the institution.
He was sent to Kirkaldy High School for an academic hothouse education,
He was rebellious th...
The winner of the 'Sarcastic Political Ode' for May 2011, in the 'Inchcock Gazette' of 'Upper Denture, and surrounding areas' magazine, is F. Eddupofthem, with his first entry into the competition. He was to attend the magazines monthly prize-giving to collect his prize of a damaged toothbrush, but had to decline due to his attendance being required in court on a charge of 'Knowingly Voting for th...
You would not use honest, open or believable for Tony Blair,
The man who killed soldiers, and put many in a wheelchair,
The man who knew how to smile as he was being unfair,
He and his rich wife grew richer, and dined out at Mayfair,
As his fight for other's oil, he fought with flair,
And smiled at the camera in his suit and tie of mohair,
While his Weapons of Mass Destruction, could be foun...
We thought it was time to explain the reasons behind the lack of social skills, and demented views of Spoof Reporter Inchcock Chambers. This ode is produced with the full permission of the bald headed idiot.
(Easy how the bribe of promising to send him an email each day for a week so he can imagine he has some friends, can change his mind, the fool!)
Explanations to my Friends
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