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Funny satire stories about New Year

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Funny story: Nashville Man Vows to Come Up with Really Good New Year's Resolution(s) for Next Year

Nashville Man Vows to Come Up with Really Good New Year's Resolution(s) for Next Year

Frustrated at finding himself yet again scrambling at the end of the year to come up with a New Year's resolution worthy of his sincere intention, Edwin Wallace of Nashville, Tennessee, abandoned the quest for this year, but vowed to come up with a t...

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Funny story: Family Already Have Christmas Tree Up!

Family Already Have Christmas Tree Up!

It's been reported by a Neighbourhood Community Vigilante Action Group in Sheffield, South Yorkshire, that a family on the city's Woodhouse Estate have already put up Christmas decorations outside their house - despite there still being more than 362...

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Funny story: New Year To Have The Lowest 4-Digit Total For Nine Years

New Year To Have The Lowest 4-Digit Total For Nine Years

As 2019 slowly, but surely, approaches its conclusion, and we get ever nearer to another new year, it's been noticed that next year - 2020 (twenty-twenty) - will contain the individual digits' lowest total since nine years ago, in 2011. It will al...

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Funny story: Concert to be held inside Elton John

Concert to be held inside Elton John

For years it has been one of the most exclusive and sought-after private venues in the world. Next month, Sir Elton John will be opening up his rectum for a New Years Eve concert to remember, featuring the Birmingham Philharmonic Orchestra. Conduc...

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Funny story: Nashville Man's New Year Off to Mixed Start

Nashville Man's New Year Off to Mixed Start

After making a number of regrettable decisions and unfortunate choices in 2018, Bart Biggs of Nashville, Tennessee, resolved to do better in 2019 – specifically, he vowed to quit partying like a sociopathic rockstar, make the most of his professional...

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Funny story: New York Writer Confident that 2019 Will Bring Life Muse and/or Divine Inspiration

New York Writer Confident that 2019 Will Bring Life Muse and/or Divine Inspiration

Aspiring writer Noel Underwood of New York City, who waited in vain all of 2018 for literary success to be thrust upon him, is confident that 2019 will be the year that he happens upon his life muse and/or is struck by divine inspiration, finally cau...

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Funny story: Man Starts Off New Year As He Means To Go On - By Cleaning His Earholes Out

Man Starts Off New Year As He Means To Go On - By Cleaning His Earholes Out

A new year, and a new beginning were the sentiments expressed by one man this morning, as Tony Chudworth made it his New Year's resolution to clean out his earholes 'more often than in the past'. On paper, this doesn't mean very much. Chudworth ha...

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Funny story: 2019 To Be Much The Same As 2018

2019 To Be Much The Same As 2018

The New Year, 2019, is likely to be very much the same as its direct predecessor, 2018, it's been claimed by analysts who have been studying 'the signs'. Contrary to popular belief, goes the claim, one period of time is no more likely to be any be...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Resolves to Find True Resolve in 2019

Nashville Man Resolves to Find True Resolve in 2019

After a lifetime of hemming, hawing, and beating around all kinds of bushes, Christian Caldwell of Nashville, Tennessee, has resolved to find true resolve by - or at least during - the New Year. “No two ways about it," said Christian, his resolve...

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Funny story: New Year's Revelation! New York Woman Realizes Mediocre Sort-Of Relationship Is Worth Sacrificing Everything For

New Year's Revelation! New York Woman Realizes Mediocre Sort-Of Relationship Is Worth Sacrificing Everything For

At the age of 33, Giselle Watson of New York City was still single, and for the life of her, she couldn't understand why. "Actually, that's not quite true," Giselle admits now with an embarrassed smile, catching herself in her own lie. "I'd let my...

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Funny story: Massed Mumblings signify the beginning of 2018

Massed Mumblings signify the beginning of 2018

Around the country, families, friends and work colleagues are currently planning for the massed mumbling of Auld Lang Syne. The song, written by Scottish Poet Robert Burns is only really known for its first verse and chorus (much like the national a...

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Funny story: Do Your New Year's Partying Early This Year: Doomsday Clock Running Slow

Do Your New Year's Partying Early This Year: Doomsday Clock Running Slow

Earth. According to the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists, the Doomsday Clock is set to two and one-half minutes before midnight. As one scientist put it, "That's just long enough to find a brown paper bag and hyperventilate into it until you pass o...

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Funny story: Did you make a New Year's Resolution? Yeah, it's miserable, I know. So break it, shake it, and never look back!

Did you make a New Year's Resolution? Yeah, it's miserable, I know. So break it, shake it, and never look back!

So you've made your New Year's Resolution and you're already as miserable as all hell. The point is, all your New Year's Resolutions were made to rid you of things that are deeply rooted in what The Bible calls "The Seven Deadly Sins". These are the mortal sins that the Judeo-Christian God (sometimes "Judeo" here is spelled "Judo") will send you straight to hell for, if you don't get them under co...

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Funny story: Giant Pussy  Drop...Trump Tower...New Years Eve!

Giant Pussy  Drop...Trump Tower...New Years Eve!

In breaking news, the New York Times is reporting this morning that President-elect Donald Trump has scheduled a Giant Pussy Drop on New Years Eve at the Trump Towers.  The Times quoting the words of Attorney Joseph Welsh in the Army/McCarthy hearing...

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Funny story: Posthoorn Interview no. 6: Tom 'Brexit prepper' or 'Holiday prepper'?

Posthoorn Interview no. 6: Tom 'Brexit prepper' or 'Holiday prepper'?

Tom, from Scotland, has lived in The Netherlands since 1972 and has a Dutch wife. With Brexit looming, and maybe having to leave the Netherlands, Tom is prepping himself to live back in Scotland. Before going on holiday the reporter of the world...

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Funny story: T.V. Networks Curb Advertising Of Extremely Comfortable Sofas

T.V. Networks Curb Advertising Of Extremely Comfortable Sofas

Sofa manufacturers have said in an open letter this morning that they understand the need to protect the elderly and vulnerable from the temptation to buy "after New Year" sofas. Sofa chains, DFI, Q&B, Gladbrook and Bentley and Sharidans have...

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Funny story: Excitement About New Year's Eve Fades With Age - Study Finds.

Excitement About New Year's Eve Fades With Age - Study Finds.

Fayetteville, AR - A recent study by the University of Arkansas found that a person's excitement about New Year's Eve and associated celebrations tends to fade with a person's age. Lead researcher Vernon Springer, PhD, professor emeritus at the U...

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