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Funny satire stories about New Year

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Nashville Man's New Year Off to Mixed Start

Funny story: Nashville Man's New Year Off to Mixed Start

After making a number of regrettable decisions and unfortunate choices in 2018, Bart Biggs of Nashville, Tennessee, resolved to do better in 2019 – specifically, he vowed to quit partying like a sociopathic rockstar, make the most of his professional...

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New York Writer Confident that 2019 Will Bring Life Muse and/or Divine Inspiration

Funny story: New York Writer Confident that 2019 Will Bring Life Muse and/or Divine Inspiration

Aspiring writer Noel Underwood of New York City, who waited in vain all of 2018 for literary success to be thrust upon him, is confident that 2019 will be the year that he happens upon his life muse and/or is struck by divine inspiration, finally cau...

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Man Starts Off New Year As He Means To Go On - By Cleaning His Earholes Out

Funny story: Man Starts Off New Year As He Means To Go On - By Cleaning His Earholes Out

A new year, and a new beginning were the sentiments expressed by one man this morning, as Tony Chudworth made it his New Year's resolution to clean out his earholes 'more often than in the past'. On paper, this doesn't mean very much. Chudworth ha...

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2019 To Be Much The Same As 2018

Funny story: 2019 To Be Much The Same As 2018

The New Year, 2019, is likely to be very much the same as its direct predecessor, 2018, it's been claimed by analysts who have been studying 'the signs'. Contrary to popular belief, goes the claim, one period of time is no more likely to be any be...

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Nashville Man Resolves to Find True Resolve in 2019

Funny story: Nashville Man Resolves to Find True Resolve in 2019

After a lifetime of hemming, hawing, and beating around all kinds of bushes, Christian Caldwell of Nashville, Tennessee, has resolved to find true resolve by - or at least during - the New Year. “No two ways about it," said Christian, his resolve...

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New Year's Revelation! New York Woman Realizes Mediocre Sort-Of Relationship Is Worth Sacrificing Everything For

Funny story: New Year's Revelation! New York Woman Realizes Mediocre Sort-Of Relationship Is Worth Sacrificing Everything For

At the age of 33, Giselle Watson of New York City was still single, and for the life of her, she couldn't understand why. "Actually, that's not quite true," Giselle admits now with an embarrassed smile, catching herself in her own lie. "I'd let my...

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Massed Mumblings signify the beginning of 2018

Funny story: Massed Mumblings signify the beginning of 2018

Around the country, families, friends and work colleagues are currently planning for the massed mumbling of Auld Lang Syne. The song, written by Scottish Poet Robert Burns is only really known for its first verse and chorus (much like the national a...

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Do Your New Year's Partying Early This Year: Doomsday Clock Running Slow

Funny story: Do Your New Year's Partying Early This Year: Doomsday Clock Running Slow

Earth. According to the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists, the Doomsday Clock is set to two and one-half minutes before midnight. As one scientist put it, "That's just long enough to find a brown paper bag and hyperventilate into it until you pass o...

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Did you make a New Year's Resolution? Yeah, it's miserable, I know. So break it, shake it, and never look back!

Funny story: Did you make a New Year's Resolution? Yeah, it's miserable, I know. So break it, shake it, and never look back!

So you've made your New Year's Resolution and you're already as miserable as all hell. The point is, all your New Year's Resolutions were made to rid you of things that are deeply rooted in what The Bible calls "The Seven Deadly Sins". These are the mortal sins that the Judeo-Christian God (sometimes "Judeo" here is spelled "Judo") will send you straight to hell for, if you don't get them under co...

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Giant Pussy  Drop...Trump Tower...New Years Eve!

In breaking news, the New York Times is reporting this morning that President-elect Donald Trump has scheduled a Giant Pussy Drop on New Years Eve at the Trump Towers.  The Times quoting the words of Attorney Joseph Welsh in the Army/McCarthy hearing...

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Posthoorn Interview no. 6: Tom 'Brexit prepper' or 'Holiday prepper'?

Tom, from Scotland, has lived in The Netherlands since 1972 and has a Dutch wife. With Brexit looming, and maybe having to leave the Netherlands, Tom is prepping himself to live back in Scotland. Before going on holiday the reporter of the world...

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T.V. Networks Curb Advertising Of Extremely Comfortable Sofas

Sofa manufacturers have said in an open letter this morning that they understand the need to protect the elderly and vulnerable from the temptation to buy "after New Year" sofas. Sofa chains, DFI, Q&B, Gladbrook and Bentley and Sharidans have...

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Excitement About New Year's Eve Fades With Age - Study Finds.

Funny story: Excitement About New Year's Eve Fades With Age - Study Finds.

Fayetteville, AR - A recent study by the University of Arkansas found that a person's excitement about New Year's Eve and associated celebrations tends to fade with a person's age. Lead researcher Vernon Springer, PhD, professor emeritus at the U...

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Scottish Celebrities In New Year's Eve Strike Threat

Funny story: Scottish Celebrities In New Year's Eve Strike Threat

Hogmanay 2014/2015 could be a sober affair with Scotland virtually on a general strike over the normally enthusiastic celebration period. Dissatisfied with a huge list of things which have turned out to be empty Westminster promises, the Scottis...

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New Year Celebrations To Last Until The Following Christmas Every Year After Scottish Independence

Funny story: New Year Celebrations To Last Until The Following Christmas Every Year After Scottish Independence

New Year celebrations in Scotland will last at least into March and probably through to Christmas each year in a stealthy plan by Scottish Nationalists to boost Whiskey Sales and T.V. advertising revenue. New Year, one of Scotland's most popular...

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Pennsylvania Town, High As Kites Still Think It's 2013, Will Use Big Mushroom, Wild Party To Ring In 2014

Funny story: Pennsylvania Town, High As Kites Still Think It's 2013, Will Use Big Mushroom, Wild Party To Ring In 2014

Evanstown, a town near Philadelphia that's famous for it's fungus will ring in the year, 2014 with a huge mushroom! No, it's not real but it weighs 3000 pounds and will be lowered by a crane and 978 local citizens. "I got a bad back and a hernia b...

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Chinese Year of the Horse - New regulations cause shortage of horse Chop Suey

Funny story: Chinese Year of the Horse - New regulations cause shortage of horse Chop Suey

The Chinese Year of the Horse 2014 may turn out to be a problem year for Chinese restaurants everywhere. Normally special menu for four persons will be the New Year's animal meat dish e.g. mutton for sheep, beef for Ox etc. Admittedly dragon, mo...

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The Top 10 Headlines of 2013

Funny story: The Top 10 Headlines of 2013

The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency based in Chicago has compiled a list of the top 10 headlines of 2013. ADGA Spokesperson Bagby B. Buckleybox stated that he sat down with several entertainment publications and news agencies and went over thousands of headlines. The group that Buckleybox met with consisted of Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo, Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle T...

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