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Funny satire stories about Meat

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Global burger producer decides to add 'real, fresh meat' to their burgers

Funny story: Global burger producer decides to add 'real, fresh meat' to their burgers

A sensational revolution is occurring in the burger world! Real, fresh meat is to replace the reconstituted crap normally on offer. Several burger kings were about to be declared veggies because basically there is no real meat in their crap anyway...

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Diet of the Millennium? Unethical Veganism Overtakes Paleo (and Gluten-Free)

Funny story: Diet of the Millennium? Unethical Veganism Overtakes Paleo (and Gluten-Free)

Decades following the publication of Australian philosopher Peter Singer's landmark treatise Animal Liberation, which prompted dozens (some say even hundreds) of morally-conscious Americans to adopt a vegan lifestyle for ethical reasons, experts have...

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"Mmm, Tofurky!" Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week Before Thanksgiving

Funny story: "Mmm, Tofurky!" Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week Before Thanksgiving

Clearly feeling the heat as he approached his looming slaughter at the age of six weeks, a bloated five-week-old teenage turkey desperately attempted to talk up the appeal of "mock meats" like the widely popular soy-based Tofurky. "Mmmm, Tofurky!"...

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Brazil leads world in persuading it to become vegetarians by flogging rotten meat!

Funny story: Brazil leads world in persuading it to become vegetarians by flogging rotten meat!

The Brazilian government have decided to jump on the vegan / vegetarian bandwagon by forcing it's meat producers to flog rotting meat to the rest of the world! Brazilian meat companies are earning mega-bucks by exporting rotting carcasses because...

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Tarantino's "Blood'nGore Restaurants" to Open Soon

Funny story: Tarantino's "Blood'nGore Restaurants" to Open Soon

Movie mogul Quentin Tarantino with a consortium of business friends has purchased a chain of abattoirs across Los Angeles. The abattoirs will still function as abattoirs but will now incorporate restaurants and special seating arrangements where clie...

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Should We Eat Animals That Piss Us Off? Dolphin 'Smack Chatter' Reopens The Debate

Funny story: Should We Eat Animals That Piss Us Off? Dolphin 'Smack Chatter' Reopens The Debate

We have come to think of dolphins as intelligent mammals; the sages of the sea, who have even been known to save a human or two caught in troubled waters. That status is now under review following groundbreaking research about to be published by The...

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Cenk Uygur: Extraordinary, Unprecedented Anti-Corporation Rant (1/2)

A recent "virulent" rant by Cenk Uygur has gone "viral" on Youtube... Oh, crap. Mere semantics again, isn't it? Anyways, have a look at this transcript. Responses on a snail-card please. Well, yeah, why not? After all highly eloquent and intellectually satisfying responses from Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin have already appeared... So don't be last in the race to the bottom. Still, wh...

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Hot Yoga Blamed for Global Warming

Funny story: Hot Yoga Blamed for Global Warming

A new study by the Weston A. Price Foundation (WAPF), a nonprofit "nutrition" organization with close ties to the meat industry, blames hot yoga for global warming. The WAPF report has created a lot of additional heat for Bikram Yoga founder Bikr...

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Hot Yoga Blamed for Global Warming

Funny story: Hot Yoga Blamed for Global Warming

A new study by the Weston A. Price Foundation (WAPF), a nonprofit "nutrition" organization with close ties to the meat industry, blames "hot yoga" for global warming. The WAPF report has created a lot of additional heat for Bikram Yoga founder Bi...

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Say Goodbye to Meat and Cheese

Funny story: Say Goodbye to Meat and Cheese

Los Angeles, CA (STT News) - People of the world - learn to like bugs. That's the message recently released by Dr. Falter O. Longer, director of the USC's Elitist Longevity Institute. The study by the institute states clearly that things like meat,...

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India Desperate For Money Agrees To Sell 17,000 Sacred Cows To Japan

Funny story: India Desperate For Money Agrees To Sell 17,000 Sacred Cows To Japan

NEW DELHI, India - The country of India, like most of the world's countries, has been going through a tough time economically. The Taj Mahal National News Agency has just announced some shocking news coming out of the nation's capital of New Delhi...

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A Belgium Farmer Grows Cabbage That Tastes Exactly Like Filet Mignon

Funny story: A Belgium Farmer Grows Cabbage That Tastes Exactly Like Filet Mignon

BRUSSELS, Belgium - Waterloo Zottbergen has been growing cabbage for the past 29 years and in that time he has made a very good living out of it. But he recently discovered a way to grow cabbage that tastes exactly like a filet mignon steak. Zo...

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New York Hot Dog Salesman Attacks Man On The Street

Funny story: New York Hot Dog Salesman Attacks Man On The Street

According to a police report, a hot dog street vendor attacked a man on the street without warning but the hot dog salesman has a different story. My date and I were walking hand-in-hand down the street when we saw the hot dog guy across the stree...

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Housemate found in Beefburger

Funny story: Housemate found in Beefburger

Shoppers in England and Ireland today were shocked to discover that Beefburgers stocked by many of the leading supermarkets have been found to contain meat from former 'Big Brother' housemate Jade Goody. DNA testing by the Irish Food Standard Agen...

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Meat eaters lie, are sex mad and need prostitutes!

Funny story: Meat eaters lie, are sex mad and need prostitutes!

Indian vegetarians have discovered that since McDonalds opened a chain of veggy restaurants in the country sex crimes have been reduced by 25% and men lying to their wives has radically been reduced by 50%! Non-consumption of meat products tends t...

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Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Funny story: Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Modern-day medical research demonstrates a clear and consistent link between meat consumption and virtually all Western diseases - cancer, heart disease and diabetes, to name just a few. Could sausage possibly be an exception? Sausage company H...

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'Meateor' delivers Lady Gaga's new alien outfit

Funny story: 'Meateor' delivers Lady Gaga's new alien outfit

London - Carnivore chic fans said today that a meteor (sic) carrying up to 100 metres of subtle flesh-toned alien scrag-end beef jerky was seen streaking across UK skies last night. Witnesses jammed police switchboards with reports that the galact...

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Empowered Women's Groups Successfully Boycott Canned Meat Producers

Funny story: Empowered Women's Groups Successfully Boycott Canned Meat Producers

With corporate quarterly earnings significantly down for multiple manufacturers of canned meat products, some women's groups are declaring a victory after a year of boycott effort. Targeting some traditional men's favorites like sardines, corned b...

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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