An updated version of Han's Christian Anderson's fable, The Emporer's New Clothes is to be updated for a new show at this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival - Matt Hancock's Charisma. Students Felicity Finknottle and her boyfriend Oliver Tallbloke h…
Gary Johnson, one of Chutney on the Fritz's most famous figures was given a copy of Matt Hancock's Pandemic Diary for Christmas, and really needs to find out who gave it to him, so he can give it back to them. 'I know that it was my Secret Santa p…
Having seen both Donald Trump and Kanye West throw their hats into the ring as American President, the world is waiting to see which ego-maniac will be next. Although he is British, James Corden is said to be thinking about it, as are Matt Hancock…
14-year-old schoolboy Matt Hancock has set up an online support group for anyone who shares a name with a celebrity. 'Yes' said Matt 'I thought it was time for a group like this. Not every person called Matt Hancock is like the politician. Some of…
If you thought your parents were embarrassing, save a thought for the children of Matt Hancock and Liz Truss. Not only are they the offspring of failing Conservatives, every time their parents say or do something, their school friends know about i…
A MORI poll has revealed that former Health Secretary who broke his own Covid rules when he had an affair with some bimbo, and who has accepted what is believed to be over £500,000 to go on a reality TV show while still keeping his lucrative MP’s sal…
Matt Hancock, you remember him, don't you? He was the conservative minister who resigned due to a scandal? You must remember him. Completely incompetent? Oh, sorry, of course, that doesn't narrow down the field, does it? He had an affair with an aid…
Famed romantic figure The Milk Tray Man, known for his habit of jumping out of aeroplanes, helicopters, speeding cars, and abseiling to give the love of his life a box of Chocolates will now be played by former politician and creator of tears on live…
In shocking news that surprised absolutely no one, another politician (we won't name names, but you can probably guess) has been caught doing something he shouldn't have been. Yes, that's right, he wasn't social distancing. Unlike, the old days th…
As news that Health Secretary Matt Hancock has been caught in yet another compromising position, we ask that maybe instead of power, incompetence is the real aphrodisiac. If you look at it logically, the government, ranging from Boris Johnson to J…
In his latest U-turn, Boris Johnson has heralded herd immunity as the golden path to obliterating the coronavirus. "I will no longer tolerate this sanctimonious deference and Pecksniffian capitulation with regard to Covid 19. I will not allow a fe…
Prominent scientists have called for volunteers to be purposely infected with Covid-19 in an attempt to speed up the search for a vaccine. This has caused an outcry from many leading Conservative politicians who have pointed out that their hopeless h…
After his surprise discovery that the United Kingdom was an island nation with a busy sea port at Dover, Matt Hancock has now discovered that the Isle of Wight is also an island, but still part of the UK. “To be honest,” he said, “I had confused i...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Two days after British health minister Matt Hancock said he had tested positive for coronavirus and was self-isolating at home with mild symptoms, he announced that a countrywide ban on sheep threesomes was forthcoming. Coincid...
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