The little green creatures have made up their minds that they aren't going to sit silently through another Earth Day while their own planet remains unrecognized. No siree! Yesterday a bunch of Martians held a protest on the steps of the main bran...
Seattle - A Seattle megachurch pastor is in the doghouse for renaming his Mars Hill Church after an iconic 60s fellatio moment involving Rolling Stone Mick Jagger and a former girlfriend. The Reverend Mark Driscoll's makeover sees a new shrine, th...
Well, actually, make that plural: SECRETS. There's definitely more than one. NASA is being tightlipped, only saying that the rover Curiosity has discovered something exciting that warrants further investigation. Supposedly more info is forth...
Brussels based bureaucrats have launched an astonishing attack on Mars...but don't worry we are not heading into interplanetary warfare...yet. The Mars in question is Scotland's favourite, chocolate-based, fried food - The Mars Bar. Euro-crats...
After the shock parting of the ways between Tennants and the Scottish FA, the Scottish footballing body has acted quickly to fill the gap. The Scottish based drinks company has made the decision after David Tennant left the popular BBC drama, Doc...
London (Phantom press) - It's been a bad week for the BOE governor after a grilling from the select committee on the Northern Rock fiasco.
After the recent Foot & Mouth, E-Coli and Legionnaires Disease outbreaks, a new scare has this morning raised calls from health officials for a total ban on Mars Bars.
NASA HQ - (Ass Mess): Scientists have reported that the Mars Rover has found evidence of the Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease variant - or mad cow disease as it is more commonly known -in the new recipie Mars bars which now use bovine offal products instead...
Dairy farmers have today revealed plans to add liquidized Mars Bars to calf's stomachs in an attempt to produce chocolate flavoured beef.
Masterfoods, the producers of household names such as Mars, Snickers and Malteasers, have announced that genetically modified animal ingredients are used in its chocolate snacks.
In a cruel twist of fate sacred bull Shambo who is suffering from bovine TB will be sacrificed and sold on to the Masterfoods group, who have recently announced that they are adding mashed up dead baby calf to their previously popular chocolate bars.
Masterfoods today confirmed that it will adding mashed up dead baby calf in all of its most popular chocolate bars including Mars, Twix and Milky Way.
London - (Ass Mess): Marianne Faithfull has told an anal general meeting of the vegetarian society that mars bars are no longer safe for oral sex.
A report by the World Health Organisation (WHO?) has said that, despite the obvious health implications for those that suffer from it, obesity has a positive effect on the world's economy.
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