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Funny story: Julian Assange – Wikileaks Leaker Begs President Biden To Please Give Him a Pardon

Julian Assange – Wikileaks Leaker Begs President Biden To Please Give Him a Pardon

LONDON – (Satire News) – The man who leaked more leaks in the history of leaking is now begging President Biden to help get him out of jail. Julian Assange, who is 49, but who is now looking more like 69, told Loretta Piffinshaw, with England’s Ta…

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Funny story: Jagger in distress, cries for help in ICU while orderly accompanies him on guitar

Jagger in distress, cries for help in ICU while orderly accompanies him on guitar

Mick Jagger of the rock & roll band The Rolling Stones is in the ICU at London’s St. Thomas’ Hospital for an undisclosed malady. Last evening, reportedly, Jagger was in despair and called out for assistance, but hospital staff mistakenly thou…

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Funny story: London Full Of 'Facking Cants'

London Full Of 'Facking Cants'

In sensational news coming out of the capital this morning, it's been claimed that, although it sees itself as the centre of modern business and finance, political tradition and progressive governance, the arts and all cultural thinking, London is ab…

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Funny story: Queen Elizabeth Says She’s Thrilled Beyond Belief That Joe Biden Beat President Trump In The Presidential Election

Queen Elizabeth Says She’s Thrilled Beyond Belief That Joe Biden Beat President Trump In The Presidential Election

(NOT EDITED) LONDON – (Satire News) – London’s Tickety Boo News Agency is reporting that Queen Elizabeth II, is as happy as a teenage girl on Soho’s Carnaby Street, with two of her dad’s credit cards. When the queen learned that President Trump ha…

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Funny story: Highgate Cemetery arrested for breaking 'Rule of Six'

Highgate Cemetery arrested for breaking 'Rule of Six'

A foaming nutjob from the Metropolitan Police has announced, today, that they will publicly arrest Highgate Cemetery in London for breaking the new 'Rule of Six', which comes into force on Monday. "It's a public place!" they announced. "And there'…

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Funny story: Police close to catching The Ripper

Police close to catching The Ripper

London police have announced that they are close to catching Jack "the Ripper", a notorious serial killer who slew five prostitutes in the East End in the 1880s. Using new DNA analysis and forensic techniques, they have made progress in their hunt fo…

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Funny story: Piers Morgan Says That President Trump Needs to Resign Before He Turns America Into Guatemala

Piers Morgan Says That President Trump Needs to Resign Before He Turns America Into Guatemala

LONDON – Piers Morgan, who is a co-host on the morning show, Good Morning Britain, is totally infatuated with Queen Elizabeth, Stella Artois Beer, and fog. He has recently had a falling out with President Trump, or as Morgan calls him, “The Tweete...

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Funny story: Brits Call for a Temporary Ban on Data Visualization Until We Can Figure Out What the Hell is Going On

Brits Call for a Temporary Ban on Data Visualization Until We Can Figure Out What the Hell is Going On

(Oxford, UK) A recent graphic published by Danny Dorling from the University of Oxford, has everyone from the educated knobs to the sweaty wazzocks scratching their heads in bewilderment. Many here have called for a ban on data visualization, or “inf...

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Funny story: Millions of Britons could starve to death as foreign cooks won’t be allowed into the country after Brexit

Millions of Britons could starve to death as foreign cooks won’t be allowed into the country after Brexit

Politicians are warning that millions of lives could be lost after Britain exits the EU, if tough immigration laws proposed by the government are enacted. These laws would mean that workers from Europe would no longer be allowed into the country unle...

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Funny story: London Mayor Sadiq Khan demands that London should be part of the EU

London Mayor Sadiq Khan demands that London should be part of the EU

Barmy Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, told reporters at a news conference that Londoners should be allowed to “keep their EU citizenship” after Brexit. Khan, who once famously allowed a great big blimp of US President Donald Trump to be floated over...

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Funny story: Local jihadist expresses annoyance as Londoners enjoy quiet drink following London Bridge outrage

Local jihadist expresses annoyance as Londoners enjoy quiet drink following London Bridge outrage

A 23-year-old man from Whitechapel in East London with a conviction for terrorism, rang his local newspaper last night to express his annoyance that Londoners seemed to be enjoying their customary Friday evening drink in the bars around London Bridge...

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Funny story: Plan To Rename 2020 London Marathon

Plan To Rename 2020 London Marathon

It's been run every year since 1981, and is one of the most popular 'public competitor' events in the world, but from next year, 2020, the London Marathon is to undergo a massive identity transplant - it will be known as the London Snickers. The n...

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Funny story: Ten Interesting Things You Didn't Know About Balham

Ten Interesting Things You Didn't Know About Balham

To some people Balham is a joke as they hurtle through it on the A24 making their way to Gatwick airport, but thousands of people live there in peace and harmony, apart from the raucous weekend night life. Here are ten interesting facts about Balham...

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Funny story: Dollis Hill Residents Branded ‘Garbage’, ‘Nazis’ & Now ‘Perverts’

Dollis Hill Residents Branded ‘Garbage’, ‘Nazis’ & Now ‘Perverts’

Dollis Hill, Isle of Dogs - (Barking): “It’s just local estate agents talking up the neighbourhood,” a reporter on the North London Argus Bargus said today after the property column published its annual report about the leafy residential enclave of...

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Funny story: The Balham Tourist Board Guide for Japanese Visitors

The Balham Tourist Board Guide for Japanese Visitors

Shopping. Balham is a Mecca for discerning shoppers from as far away as Tooting, and until the 1980s, even boasted its own "private shop", handily situated within two minutes' walk of the local secondary school. Unfortunately, concerned citizens, or "busybodies", as any self-respecting connoisseur of BDSM, unusual practices, and loose morals would call them, successfully campaigned to close it dow...

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Funny story: The Lun Dun mayor: he wore an itsby-bitsy, teeny-weeny yellow bikini

The Lun Dun mayor: he wore an itsby-bitsy, teeny-weeny yellow bikini

Lun Dun, Eng Lund—Lun Duners, like other Britz, hate their mayor, Sad Ick Khan (no relation, as far as anyone knows, to either Genghis or Kubla), and, to show it, they took up a collection to protest his existence. More than 16 million people (twi...

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Funny story: Sodden Carnival makes Notting Hill Revellers proud to be British

Sodden Carnival makes Notting Hill Revellers proud to be British

Sunday's wash out on the streets of Notting Hill brought the true spirit of Being British out in full force. A man dressed in a bin bag told us, "It's what it's all about, innit? Carnival's not all about colour, music, celebration and creativity. We...

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