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Funny satire stories about Lawn

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Funny story: Area Dad: Lawn needs to be cut this weekend

Area Dad: Lawn needs to be cut this weekend

Although local woman Alexa Britzner was only half paying attention, her dad was just saying that he thinks he’s going to cut the lawn this weekend. This announcement came despite the fact that 84% of neighbors think the lawn looks fine. “[The…

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Funny story: Severely Dehydrated Local Man Suffering Mid-Life Crisis Screams That He Doesn't Want To Waste His Life Mowing Lawns Anymore

Severely Dehydrated Local Man Suffering Mid-Life Crisis Screams That He Doesn't Want To Waste His Life Mowing Lawns Anymore

Platteville, Wisconsin. Profoundly loaded with PTSD and tons of irreversible emotional baggage from his highly traumatizing 56 minutes of mowing a quarter-mile stretch of lawn at Excel Brushworks Inc., 44-year-old part-time janitor Luke Wesley despe…

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Funny story: Zeppelins, Flying Lawn Chairs, Blimps as "Air Disney Park" to Open in Arizona

Zeppelins, Flying Lawn Chairs, Blimps as "Air Disney Park" to Open in Arizona

A new park between Nagales and Tuscon, Arizona will open during the summer of 2014 says a Disney World executive and is expected to rival the other Disney Parks everywhere. "It's not just lawn chairs with helium balloons and beebee guns, there wil...

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Funny story: Congress to Consider Single-Payer Lawncare Legislation

Congress to Consider Single-Payer Lawncare Legislation

WASHINGTON, DC - Fresh off his healthcare "victory", Harry Reid announced today that he will introduce legislation next week that will mandate that all homeowners subscribe to the American Lawn Care Program (ALCP). In a press conference this after...

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Funny story: Let the grass grow

Let the grass grow

Scientists at the South West Welsh University (South West Wales) have discovered why it rains more at the weekend. "As a multitude of home sapiens are cognisant of," Dr. Christopher Verbose (MBE, MSC, BScH, Phd, SCISP) said, "Precipitation has a c...

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Funny story: Man Shot At For Mowing His Lawn Too Loudly In Dumfries

Man Shot At For Mowing His Lawn Too Loudly In Dumfries

A man was shot at yesterday for mowing his lawn too loudly, in the Scottish backwater of Dumfries.

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Funny story: Lawn Care Company Franchises Mowers in Bikinis Idea

Lawn Care Company Franchises Mowers in Bikinis Idea

Who would you rather have mow your yard? The twelve year old next door? A professional landscaping company with high dollar equipment and a huge bill? You after working a ten hour day? Two hot, sweaty chicks in bikinis?...

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Funny story: David Irving: "Hitler mowed my lawn for free!"

David Irving: "Hitler mowed my lawn for free!"

The controversial 'revisionist' historian, Gruppenfuhrer David Irving, has added fuel to his personal pyre by claiming to be a 'beneficient philanthropist' who would 'do anything for anyone'. "Once, when I spilt mustard o...

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Funny story: Car Washing Surpasses Sex as Favorite Activity in Suburbia

Car Washing Surpasses Sex as Favorite Activity in Suburbia

Recently collected data confirm that weekend car washing by spouses has surpassed sex as the most frequent, and the most enjoyable, activity in suburbia, with lawn mowing, leaf blowing, and powerwashing tied for third place. Tied for fourth place wer...

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