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Funny satire stories about Language

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Funny story: Grandmother uses the word sleeps

Grandmother uses the word sleeps

Grandmother Valerie Jones is shocked to say that she used the word sleeps when talking to her grandson Toby. Toby, 4, was talking about what is happening on Wednesday, and when it was when Valerie committed the faux pas of saying it was 'only two…

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Funny story: Sentences That Can Be Interpreted In Two Completely Opposite Ways

Sentences That Can Be Interpreted In Two Completely Opposite Ways

Sometime a sentence can mean exactly the opposite of what the speaker or writer intended. That's due in part to conflicting meanings that many words have or the way the sentence is phrased. Here are some prime examples: On the last day of the se…

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Funny story: Pennsylvania Officially Bans The Word “Pussy”

Pennsylvania Officially Bans The Word “Pussy”

HARRISBURG, Pennsylvania - (Satire News) - The Pennsylvania Senate has voted to outlaw the use of the word “Pussy,” after hundreds of evangelicals, old fogies, sticks-in-the-mud, and old maids demanded the word be banned. One old maid, 79-year-ol…

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Funny story: "What I am saying now is what you should pay attention to," say celebrities and politicians

"What I am saying now is what you should pay attention to," say celebrities and politicians

Following England's footballing defeat at the hands of Italy, a number of politicians and celebrities have jumped in saying that there is absolutely no need to abuse the players. Despite having a track record of saying things that are off-colour,…

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Funny story: The Short, Short Journey

The Short, Short Journey

Retire the word journey. Please. Everything today is referred to as a journey. It isn’t. Surviving Covid-19 is not a journey. It’s survival. Going to the grocery store to purchase cat food is not a journey, it’s going to the grocery store. A fligh…

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Funny story: Don’t Say it, MOFO! Banned-Assed Words from the Brandeis Banana Factory

Don’t Say it, MOFO! Banned-Assed Words from the Brandeis Banana Factory

The earnest and slightly lunatic young scholars of Brandeis University have published an annotated list of “oppressive” and “offensive” words that will be banned on campus and in all student communications media. This list, the student publication no…

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Funny story: The Mafia Wants The Word “Mafioso” Sticken From The Dictionary

The Mafia Wants The Word “Mafioso” Sticken From The Dictionary

BROOKLYN – (Satire News) – Tittle Tattle Tonight reporter Pico de Gallo recently sat down with Goombalini crime family boss Salvatore Goombalini at a Pompous Pizza Parlor in Brooklyn. The two, who go way back to the days of the infamous Big Apple…

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Funny story: Confusion Over Word 'Pallets'

Confusion Over Word 'Pallets'

There was a storm in a teacup on an online satirical news website earlier this month, over the spelling of three similarly-sounding words landed one writer in a huge pickle, and an editor having to explain things to him in a schoolteacherly way. T…

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Funny story: Man Spent Afternoon Listening To Linton Kwesi Johnson

Man Spent Afternoon Listening To Linton Kwesi Johnson

A man who read of a possible change in the way words in the English language are spelt, has told of how he dreamt up another similar scheme after spending yesterday afternoon listening to the Jamaican reggae poet, Linton Kwesi Johnson. A story on…

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Funny story: Yale University Bans English Language

Yale University Bans English Language

Citing a legacy of colonial oppression, Yale University announced on Friday, that use of the English language will no longer be permitted on campus, effective July 1st. Other languages will also be affected. Spanish and French are right out. Due t...

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Funny story: Words to the Wise: Top Ten Lockdown-Era Definitions You Need to Know NOW!

Words to the Wise: Top Ten Lockdown-Era Definitions You Need to Know NOW!

Granted, humans may have stopped evolving, but not language! Ever fluid, in this, the lockdown era, words and phrases have continued to morph and metastasize in ways that would have been nearly impossible to predict only months ago. Don’t be left...

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Funny story: Ten Things To Do While Sheltering-in-Place

Ten Things To Do While Sheltering-in-Place

TEN THINGS TO DO WHILE SHELTERING-IN-PLACE 1. Learn how to play an unusual instrument (like the accordion, the glockenspiel, or the vuvuzela). 2. Tell your kids that you are all going to learn a second language (Mandarin Chinese, Mescalero Apac...

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Funny story: Kids Warned About Parents At Swimming Pool

Kids Warned About Parents At Swimming Pool

Young children in Thailand have been warned that their parents are irresponsible, and should be carefully watched. The news comes after a man who used to reside in the country revealed a photograph that he had taken of a sign at the swimming pool...

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Funny story: English Towns And Cities With Foreign Names To Make Changes

English Towns And Cities With Foreign Names To Make Changes

The government has announced plans to look at changing all UK placenames that have a 'foreign sound', to something a little bit more English. The move comes just two weeks after Brexit, and is intended to appease people who think 'foreigners' stil...

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Funny story: Oxford English Dictionary To Replace The Plural 'S' With 'Z'

Oxford English Dictionary To Replace The Plural 'S' With 'Z'

The Oxford English Dictionary, the world's leading authority on something, is to take radical action by removing the letter 's' from all plural forms, and replacing it with 'z', because that's already what many people do now anyway. The move comez...

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Funny story: Conor McGregor Makes Linguistic Error In Interview

Conor McGregor Makes Linguistic Error In Interview

UFC fighter, Conor McGregor, made a successful comeback to the octagon on Sunday with a 40-second knockout of Donald 'The Cowboy' Cerrone, in Las Vegas, and immediately spoke about his intention to secure a rematch with Russian, Khabib Nurmagomedov,...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Successfully Incorporates "Vis-à-vis" into Regular Conversation

Nashville Man Successfully Incorporates "Vis-à-vis" into Regular Conversation

In an effort to enhance his professional polish and, in his own words, not come across as such a dumbass, Cameron Wells of Nashville, Tennessee, began incorporating the term "vis-à-vis" into his regular conversation, to outstanding effect. "Sure,...

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