DETROIT – Members of the United States Border Patrol report that they have sunk a submarine, in Lake Erie, that was carrying 265 pounds of marijuana. Agent Charlize Buckbush, 29, stated that the strain of marijuana, known as Montreal Moronic, is o...
A panel of three federal judges weighed in on a, uh, weighty matter, when they ruled, unanimously, that a map of Ohio is “unconstitutional.” Writing for the majority, B. Czaro, who asked to remain anonymous, wrote, “We are convinced that this diag...
CLEVELAND - 7-footer Andrew Bynum, who plays center for The Cleveland Cavaliers, failed to make the team's trip to Boston. Coach Mike Brown was furious and he texted the team owner and suggested that something be done and be done soon about the ou...
CLEVELAND - In an astounding sighting, several people sailing on Lake Erie have reported seeing a sperm whale in the freshwater lake. One of the individuals, Wexford Spillovich, 48, said that he and his brand new bride Kylee Tina, 43, were sailing...
CLEVELAND - A member of the Ohio Military Historical Society has just announced an unbelievable announcement. Speaking before the monthly meeting of the OMHS, Executive Director Mervin W. Kiddlefuddle, 61, stated that a couple of scuba divers from...
Reports coming in appear to suggest that a serious case of toxic seepage threatens to kill off all known marine life in Lake Erie, unless it's brought swiftly under control. The good news is that the USA appears so far to be blameless in this latest...
CLEVELAND - After waiting and waiting for what seemed like an eternity Russell Brand can now finally call Katy Perry, Mrs. Russell Brand, or even Katy Brand. Brand reportedly told his hairdresser that he has never been happier except maybe for the...
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