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Funny satire stories about Kevin Keegan

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 18th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 18th August 2012

Toulouse defender Cheikh M'Bengue, 24, has revealed he is wanted by Arsenal. (Daily Star) Shake yar money to Cheik M'Bengue, Arsenal - theirs noting toulouse! Meanwhile, the Craven Cottage club have rejected a 'very low' bid from Manchester United for midfielder Moussa Dembele, 25. (TalkSPORT) A spokesman for United explained the 'low' offer. "It's al down to the share price imn New York do...

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Funny story: Kevin Keegan: "I'll just LOVE IT, if I become Newcastle Utd Manager for a THIRD time!"

Kevin Keegan: "I'll just LOVE IT, if I become Newcastle Utd Manager for a THIRD time!"

St. James Park, Newcastle: The news on the Tyne, is that Kevin Keegan has made it known; "I'll just love it if I become Newcastle United Manager for a THIRD time!" Kevin Keegan was awarded £2 million (plus interest accrued) in severance claus...

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Funny story: Rooney Dismisses 'Bottler' Keegan's Red-Top Rant

Rooney Dismisses 'Bottler' Keegan's Red-Top Rant

Sources close to Manchester United and England striker, Wayne Rooney claim that he has largely dismissed a Sun newspaper article attributed to Kevin Keeegan, which claimed that his confidence was 'shot.' Keegan, the former Liverpool and Hamburg pl...

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Funny story: Kevin Keegan Withdraws From England World Cup Squad

Kevin Keegan Withdraws From England World Cup Squad

Bewildered England football fans were left scratching their heads yet again this morning following the announcement that now veteran striker Kevin Keegan has ruled himself out of the England World Cup squad. The devastating news broke this morning...

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Funny story: Exclusive: Keegan speaks!

Exclusive: Keegan speaks!

Each week sports writer Gary Puddle meets a sporting legend. This week it's KEVIN KEEGAN, beloved footballer and legend of the Kop. Here Puddle lays bare the man behind the hair. I'm not sure what to expect. I meet Keegan at his bungalow just outside Walthamstow. I've been told he can be testy sometimes. I don't want to get off on the wrong foot with one of Britain's best-loved footballers, so...

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Funny story: South African Consortium Buys Mike Ashley

South African Consortium Buys Mike Ashley

The consortium of South African businessmen that was reportedly interested in buying the ailing Newcastle United football club, have now elected to buy Magpies' owner Mike Ashley instead. The group, thought to be from Johannesburg, had wanted to p...

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Funny story: Newcastle United To Hire Another 'Cockney Wanker'

Newcastle United To Hire Another 'Cockney Wanker'

Newcastle United football club have this morning released a statement saying that ex-England manager Terry Venables will hold talks with owner Mike Ashley with a view to becoming the next Cockney Wanker to take charge at St James' Park. The Tynesi...

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Funny story: Joey Barton To Star In 'Brand New' Series Of Grange Hill

Joey Barton To Star In 'Brand New' Series Of Grange Hill

Joey Barton, the Newcastle United and England footballer, is to star in a brand new series of the cutting-edge TV drama for children and adults, Grange Hill. Barton, recently freed from prison after serving a 6-month sentence for Assault & Bat...

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Funny story: Mike Ashley To Sell Newcastle United To Sir King Kevin Keegan

Mike Ashley To Sell Newcastle United To Sir King Kevin Keegan

Under-fire Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley has announced in a statement today that, in the face of all the criticism and bad feeling from fans, he has sell the club at the earliest opportunity, to his former employee, Sir King Kevin Keegan. The...

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Funny story: Kevin Keegan Back At Work At Newcastle United

Kevin Keegan Back At Work At Newcastle United

The Messiah has risen again! Just 8 days after tendering his resignation as manager of Newcastle United, Kevin Keegan is back in gainful employment at St James' Park this morning - as the guy who sells burgers outside the ground! Keegan, 57, resig...

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Funny story: Ashley Fails to bring Kevin "Hot Coals" Keegan Back to Newcastle!

Ashley Fails to bring Kevin "Hot Coals" Keegan Back to Newcastle!

Ashley called, reportedly in the middle of the night, "Hot Coals" Keegan and tried in vain to rekindle the flame of their Newcastle once steamy affair. At one time the couple was inseparable as shown in romantic photos at the racetrack and more priva...

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Funny story: Kevin Keegan Secures New Post Holding Joey Barton's Coat

Kevin Keegan Secures New Post Holding Joey Barton's Coat

There was better news today for the ex-Toon hero Kevin Keegan when, after having resigned from the Newcastle United manager's job last week, he was offered a new job: Holding Joey Barton's Coat. Barton, still a player at United, albeit with a six-...

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Funny story: Kevin Keegan storms out of Asda after only 10 minutes

Kevin Keegan storms out of Asda after only 10 minutes

Kevin Keegan was last night seen storming out of Asda after only being in the supermarket for 10 minutes. The announcement follows lengthy talks between the 57-year-old and the store manager Brian Richardson. "I've been working desperately hard...

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Funny story: Hull City Manager Phil Brown Is Newcastle Target

Hull City Manager Phil Brown Is Newcastle Target

Newcastle United start their search for a new manager today after the resignation of Kevin Keegan yesterday, and the name on many people's lips at this early stage, is Phil Brown, the current Hull City boss. Brown, 49, has worked wonders at Hull,...

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Funny story: Keegan resigns after boardroom brawl

Keegan resigns after boardroom brawl

Newcastle, UK: Kevin Keegan resigned today as Newcastle Uniteds Manager amid scenes reminiscent of a playground scuffle. A club insider revealed - "After lengthy talks surrounding Keegans future, a fight broke out directly in the boardroom when Mi...

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Funny story: Kevin Keegan Forced Out Of Newcastle

Kevin Keegan Forced Out Of Newcastle

Kevin Keegan, the former Newcastle United manager, has spoken for the first time about the circumstances which resulted in him being unceremoniously booted-out of St James' Park. Keegan, 57, contacted Radio 5 Live with a statement saying that he h...

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Funny story: Newcastle United Fans Declare War On Mike Ashley

Newcastle United Fans Declare War On Mike Ashley

Newcastle United fans, angry at the decision to upset manager Kevin Keegan, have held an emergency meeting of the Toon Army, and have declared war on club owner Mike Ashley. The Army, which is 400,000 strong, has been mobilised, and, as its initia...

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