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Funny satire stories about Jose Altuve

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Funny story: Jose Altuve of The Houston Astros Says He’s Ready To Play ‘Beisbol’

Jose Altuve of The Houston Astros Says He’s Ready To Play ‘Beisbol’

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – Houston Astros superstar Jose Altuve says he is really missing his former teammate George Springer, but adds that he is ready to start the 2021 ‘beisbol’ season. The Venezuelan native, and man who will one day be the pr…

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Funny story: The Entire NFL, NBA, and MLB Players Demand That President Trump Resign Immediately

The Entire NFL, NBA, and MLB Players Demand That President Trump Resign Immediately

NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – Sports Balls Illustrated and the Sports Bet Gazette are both reporting that, due to treasonous President Trump inciting his beloved band of low-life insurgents to attack the Capitol Building, every single player, coa…

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Funny story: Jose Altuve Denies The Houston Astros Hired a Louisiana Voodoo Woman to Put a Hex on The Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Jose Altuve Denies The Houston Astros Hired a Louisiana Voodoo Woman to Put a Hex on The Tampa Bay Devil Rays

SAN DIEGO – (Sports Satire) – Houston Astros second baseman Jose Altuve is denying reports that appeared on Fox Sports, saying that the Astros owner hired a Louisiana voodoo woman to put a hex on the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Altuve, the feisty all-st…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Are Rockin’ and Rollin’ Toward The Postseason Playoffs

The Houston Astros Are Rockin’ and Rollin’ Toward The Postseason Playoffs

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – The Sporting Chance Magazine reports that the Houston Astros have made a big turnaround, and they have, little by little, overcome the 2017 sign-stealing scandal. The Astros are now rockin’ and rollin’ toward the MLB po…

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Funny story: Jose Altuve Says The Houston Astros Have Learned Their Lesson

Jose Altuve Says The Houston Astros Have Learned Their Lesson

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) - Houston Astros super star Jose Altuve spoke with a reporter for CBS Sports, and told him that the Astros have learned their lesson, and they will never, ever again cheat during a baseball game. He noted that it has been…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Are Complaining That The Kansas City Royals Used Piped In Boos Throughout the Course of Their Game

The Houston Astros Are Complaining That The Kansas City Royals Used Piped In Boos Throughout the Course of Their Game

HOUSTON –(Sports Comedy) A lawyer for the Houston Astros has filed a legal complaint against the Kansas City Royals organization. Attorney, Rolando F. Applecross, representing the 2017 World Series champions, states that, during the game between…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Have Decided To Change Their Uniform Colors

The Houston Astros Have Decided To Change Their Uniform Colors

HOUSTON – The Astros organization recently told The Sports Mirror, they feel they've finally fallen back into the good graces with their fans, their non-fans, and the umpires union. An Astros spokesperson stated that the owner, John “Whooping” Cra…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Vote To Wear a Message Statement on The Back of Their Baseball Shirts

The Houston Astros Vote To Wear a Message Statement on The Back of Their Baseball Shirts

HOUSTON – The Sports Bet Gazette is reporting that the Houston Astros are desperately trying to curtail the criticism they are still receiving due to the so-called “Sign-Stealing Scandal”. Astros manager, Dusty Baker, said that they had a team mee…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Suggest To MLB That The Entire Baseball Season Be Played In Mexico

The Houston Astros Suggest To MLB That The Entire Baseball Season Be Played In Mexico

HOUSTON – Houston Astros team spokespersons, Jose Altuve and Carlos Correa, met with representatives with Major League Baseball, and presented an idea for getting the 2020 baseball season under way. Altuve said that, if something is not done and p...

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Funny story: President Trump Hints That He May Be Purchasing The Houston Astros

President Trump Hints That He May Be Purchasing The Houston Astros

HOUSTON – The president and his daughter, Ivanka, made a quick trip on Air Force One down to Houston to meet with the owner of the Houston Astros Jim “Whooping” Crane. Crane, who purchased the team in 2011 for $465 million, said that the president...

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Funny story: The Sign-Stealing Scandal Plagued Houston Astros Are Hoping That The Baseball Season Gets Cancelled

The Sign-Stealing Scandal Plagued Houston Astros Are Hoping That The Baseball Season Gets Cancelled

HOUSTON – Ever since spring training started, the Astros players have heard the word 'cheater' by the bat boys account at least 190,000 times. The Houston Citizen Review reports that second baseman, Jose Altuve, was overheard saying, “Man, I yust...

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