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Funny satire stories about Jeffrey Epstein

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Funny story: Ghislaine Maxwell Can Go Scot-Free If She Turns On Donald Trump

Ghislaine Maxwell Can Go Scot-Free If She Turns On Donald Trump

OSSINING, New York – (Satire News) – Ghislaine Maxwell or Ghisy, as her fellow female inmates refer to prisoner #690369071, informed the Sing Sing Prison warden that she is ready to sing like a friggin' canary (and implicating Trump) if it means that…

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Funny story: Courtroom Sketch Artist Makes Ghislaine Maxwell Super Hot for Some Reason

Courtroom Sketch Artist Makes Ghislaine Maxwell Super Hot for Some Reason

NEW YORK- Opening statements were made in the trial of Ghislaine Maxwell today, and while cameras are not allowed in the courtroom, there is a sketch artist who has decided to make the accused super hot for unknown reasons. While Maxwell sits accu…

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Funny story: Matt Gaetz Ties The Knot – Or Rather Gets Married (To a Woman)

Matt Gaetz Ties The Knot – Or Rather Gets Married (To a Woman)

CATALINA ISLAND, California – (Satire News) – Matt Gaetz, 39, who has sex-trafficking issues up the yazoo, as they say in Yazoo City, Mississippi, has married 26-year-old Ginger Luckey. He promised the local news media that his new, blushing bride…

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Funny story: DNA Test Results Show That Matt Gaetz Is Most Probably Not The Illegitimate Son of Jeffrey Epstein

DNA Test Results Show That Matt Gaetz Is Most Probably Not The Illegitimate Son of Jeffrey Epstein

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz has just revealed that they have seen the recent DNA test results regarding Congressman Matt Gaetz, and they show that he is most probably not the illegitimate son of noted sexual predator Jeffrey Epstein.

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Funny story: Ghislaine Maxwell, the Alleged Sexual Predator, Wants To Be Released From Prison Because She Fears Getting Sexually Molested.

Ghislaine Maxwell, the Alleged Sexual Predator, Wants To Be Released From Prison Because She Fears Getting Sexually Molested.

BROOKLYN – (Satire News) - A woman who many consider to be one of the most evil sexual predators in the history of sex, has stated that she needs to be released from prison as soon as possible. Ghislaine Maxwell told TMZ that if she is not release…

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Funny story: Deutsche Bank penalized and pays $150m for Jeffrey Epstein ties - but not the one he used to commit suicide

Deutsche Bank penalized and pays $150m for Jeffrey Epstein ties - but not the one he used to commit suicide

The beleaguered financial institution Deutsche Bank are reviewing their questionable investment in Jeffrey Epstein’s collection of fine silk ties, as it could be regarded as distasteful. Brinhilda Von B’Lox, the bank's risk analyst, said ‘Epstein…

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Funny story: No One Wearing A Pink Pantsuit To Be Allowed To Visit Ghislaine Maxwell

No One Wearing A Pink Pantsuit To Be Allowed To Visit Ghislaine Maxwell

BILLINGSGATE POST: As a precaution, the Department of Justice issued a warning to the hooples watching over Epstein’s mole, Ghislaine Maxwell: No one wearing a pink pantsuit is to be allowed near Maxwell’s cell at Metropolitan Detention Center in Br…

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Funny story: Ghislaine Maxwell Denies Meeting President Trump (And Other Denials)

Ghislaine Maxwell Denies Meeting President Trump (And Other Denials)

There were denials and counter-denials aplenty today, as Ghislaine Maxwell, the former girlfriend of sex pest, Jeffrey Epstein, crept out from under a stone to face an investigation into her own role in the shenanigans. In the last few days, Presi…

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Funny story: Donald Trump Says He Never Met Jeffrey Epstein or Ghislaine Maxwell – Hmmm, Photos Don't Lie

Donald Trump Says He Never Met Jeffrey Epstein or Ghislaine Maxwell – Hmmm, Photos Don't Lie

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The President of the United States has again shown that he is addicted to lying. As many have said, the man could not tell the truth if he was offered 50 Big Macs. His brain is programmed to lie, lie, lie, and lie a whole bun…

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Funny story: Jeffrey Epstein’s Girlfriend Ghislaine Maxwell Has Been Arrested – And The Rich and Famous are Shaking in Their Gucci Shoes

Jeffrey Epstein’s Girlfriend Ghislaine Maxwell Has Been Arrested – And The Rich and Famous are Shaking in Their Gucci Shoes

MANCHESTER, New Hampshire – One of the most evil women in history has just been arrested, and is now sitting in jail. Ghislaine Maxwell, (#6903517) who was the girlfriend of the most perverted pervert on Earth, Jeffrey Epstein, was arrested as she…

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Funny story: A Homeless Man Finds Jeffrey Epstein’s Diary In a Dumpster

A Homeless Man Finds Jeffrey Epstein’s Diary In a Dumpster

MANHATTAN – An officer with the NYPD has just made a discovery that will certainly have a huge effect on a lot of highly influential men. Officer Daphne Andruzzi said that a homeless man showed her a diary that he found in a dumpster. Upon ins...

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Funny story: Prince Andrew's Sphincter Is Twitching

Prince Andrew's Sphincter Is Twitching

Prince Andrew, the Duke of York, has complained to his mummy that his bum-bum is itching, and that he would like her to put some cream on it. But, say experts, the irritation is not something that can be resolved by rubbing cream on it, however fu...

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Funny story: Prince Andrew blames his refusal to help US Attorney on “those pesky sweat glands”

Prince Andrew blames his refusal to help US Attorney on “those pesky sweat glands”

Buckingham Palace was under the spotlight again today, as US Attorney, Geoffrey Berman, said at a news conference that the Prince had so far given "zero cooperation" with the Jeffrey Epstein sex crimes investigation. The Prince had previously promise...

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Funny story: Harry and Meghan did the decent thing by relinquishing titles says, HRH Prince Andrew

Harry and Meghan did the decent thing by relinquishing titles says, HRH Prince Andrew

Following the relinquishing of their royal titles, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex received a warm endorsement from Harry’s uncle, Prince Andrew, last night. Speaking to newsmen from the holiday isle of Mustique, where he has been laying somewhat l...

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Funny story: Harvey Weinstein complains about prison treatment

Harvey Weinstein complains about prison treatment

Disgraced director Harvey Weinstein has been imprisoned in New York's Sweatbreak Prison for nearly two years, and is beginning to feel the heat. According to prison documents made public this week, Weinstein has made seven complaints about his tre...

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Funny story: Prince Andrew Denies Ever Having Met The Queen

Prince Andrew Denies Ever Having Met The Queen

After a series of sketchy denials that were, quite frankly, somewhat difficult to believe, Prince Andrew has issued his most dramatic denial yet this afternoon, when he denied ever having met his mother, the Queen. Andrew, also known as the Duke o...

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Funny story: Prince Andrew To Cut All Ties With Prince Andrew

Prince Andrew To Cut All Ties With Prince Andrew

After yesterday's news that Prince Andrew had been advised to submit himself to making legal testimony before a US court, and with more and more of the Duke of York's business associates disassociating themselves from him and his projects, the Prince...

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