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Funny satire stories about James Dyson

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Funny story: You Can't Polish A Turd But You Can Polish Where It's Been!

You Can't Polish A Turd But You Can Polish Where It's Been!

A top engineer that designed residential hoovers for Dyson and Henry, was shocked to discover his latest invention had been mocked and ridiculed by his peers. After a 40-year career that started with Kirby, John Edgar was without an income and almost…

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Funny story: Nobel Physics Prize Accidentally Awarded To Micro Chips Inventor Dyson McDonald

Nobel Physics Prize Accidentally Awarded To Micro Chips Inventor Dyson McDonald

The Nobel Prize for innovative development in physics has been accidentally awarded to Dyson MacDonald, the inventor of "microwave chips" and not the microchip inventor Werner Jacobi. The invention of the integrated circuit, or microchip goes bac...

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Funny story: Boxless Boxed Sets Inventor Dyson In Dispute With Sir Clive Sinclare

Boxless Boxed Sets Inventor Dyson In Dispute With Sir Clive Sinclare

Dangerous car and cycle inventor, Sir Clive Sinclare walked off last night's BBC Panoramic current affairs programme after Top Ghia presenter Jeremy Paxo persistently asked him questions about his alleged womanising. Fellow guest, Sir Rupert "B...

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Funny story: New Dyson Seatless Sofa Patent Targets Japanese Market

New Dyson Seatless Sofa Patent Targets Japanese Market

Hatari Dyson, the inventor of the bagless tea bag has come up trumps with another potential winner. With factories tooled up to produce billions of the innovative seatless "standing only" sofas, colossal post Christmas sofa orders have broken all re...

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Funny story: MacDison Swiss Army Bagpipes sold to U.S. Navy in $100m deal

MacDison Swiss Army Bagpipes sold to U.S. Navy in $100m deal

MacDison PLC has clinched a $100m contract to supply Swiss Army Bagpipes to the U.S. Navy. The innovative bagpipes include an Egg Boiler, Tyre Inflator, Knife Blade, Letter Opener, Light, Magnifying Glass, Money Clip, Nail File, Pen, Pin, Protractor,...

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Funny story: Bagpipes With Tyre Inflator Attachment Tested By Ice Road Truck Companies

Bagpipes With Tyre Inflator Attachment Tested By Ice Road Truck Companies

The best thing since sliced bread was unveiled today at a Franchise Exhibition in Chicago. An attachment the size of a USB pen drive which slots into the mouthpiece of a set of bagpipes has put an end to potential roadside flat tyre misery. The...

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Funny story: Dyson Invents Rolf Harrisless Stylophone

Dyson Invents Rolf Harrisless Stylophone

Jamie Dyson, cousin of genius, James "Bagless" Dyson has reverse engineered everyone's least favourite Xmas present, the Stylophone in time for Christmas 2014. All traces of Rolf Harris and his black bearded Beatnik image have been removed from the c...

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Funny story: Dyson Invents Clockwork Can Opener

Dyson Invents Clockwork Can Opener

Chinese businessmen packed out the latest Dyson product preview seminar yesterday queueing up to invest trillions in the Dyson patented clockwork can opener manufacturing franchises that were being sold at Earls Court. The ground breaking can open...

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Funny story: Dyson Flown Out To Advise on Cyclone Threats to Phillipines

Dyson Flown Out To Advise on Cyclone Threats to Phillipines

Sir Brian "Bagless" Dyson was watching cyclones outside his window whlle vacuuming his house when he realised a high grade cyclone was losing suction. A weather forecaster by training, Dyson went to work re - inventing meteorological technology to f...

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Funny story: Source of the Obesity Epidemic found

Source of the Obesity Epidemic found

After years of investigation, Scientists at Dyson's Research and Development labs in Sussex have isolated the single greatest cause of obesity in the western world. "It's the toaster," said Geoff Fry, head of the Single Slice Toaster Development T...

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Funny story: Dyson invents bagless bags

Dyson invents bagless bags

Plastic grocery bags will soon be a thing of the past as the innovative British inventor, James Dyson has patented a bagless grocery bag. The bagless is a centrifugal force based superconducting gravity magnet which works by controlling gravity t...

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Funny story: Dyson money sanitisers now on sale

Dyson money sanitisers now on sale

James Dyson, Britain's answer to Sir Clive Sinclair, has topped his trumps with his latest invention in the personal hygiene market: The Personalised Home Money Sanitiser. "This is a major step forward in cleanliness," said James Dyson. "We all kn...

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Funny story: Dyson launches the Dyson Hair Straighteners

Dyson launches the Dyson Hair Straighteners

People with frizzy hair, curly hair or hair with a slight kink three quarters of the way down, can now finally rejoice in the fashion of perfectly straight hair. Safely. "One of the major drawbacks with traditional hair straighteners," said James...

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Funny story: Dyson creates the world's quietest hoover

Dyson creates the world's quietest hoover

"First off," said James Dyson, inventor and genial genius, "can we sort out that they are called vacuum cleaners? Hoover is a rival brand. It's not a verb, any more than Microsoft, T-Mobile or Sony are verbs. I'm glad that's cleared up, now carry on.

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Funny story: Dyson introduce Safe Water

Dyson introduce Safe Water

For several million years water has been the most dangerous thing on the planet to humans. Its danger to humans has been in existence far longer than fire, building collapse or turning up to a party in the same dress as that woman from thirty-five wh...

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Funny story: James Dyson to take over Apple Corp

James Dyson to take over Apple Corp

British Inventor James Dyson has been approached to take over Apple Corp following the tragic and untimely passing of the talismanic and charismatic Steve Jobs. "It's what Steve would have wanted," said Naomi Munny, head of marketing at the multin...

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Funny story: Dyson Cheese Grater the Next Revolution

Dyson Cheese Grater the Next Revolution

After improving the vacuum cleaner, the hand drier and the fan, James Dyson will be turning his attention to improving kitchen appliances, starting with the Cheese Grater. The Dyson Vacuum cleaner revolutionised vacuuming, and forced people to sto...

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