Astonishing revelations surfacing in Burnley, Lancashire, claim that the bungling French detective, Inspector Jacques Clouseau, of the Surete - for a long time missing and presumed dead - has turned up in the rapidly fading mill town, along with his...
David Cameron's, adviser, Andy Cloussot, has been given the job of getting to the bottom of phone hacking allegations. 'As editor of the News of the World and driver of investigative journalism at the paper you must know how this system operates'...
'And 'ere, ladies and a gentlemens, is the display of ancient Egyptian mummies, my mummy is zee one on zee left next to that huge McDonald's sign. Passing on to this stuffed bird we see that it hees a kerry katonae from Iceland, and next to it is what many scientistes believe is the missing link between humans and apes, homo rooney. And now - come on, come on, 'urry up, espece des cochons anglais!...
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