Oklahoma - A cheap and effective alternative to the electric chair, hanging, and walking the plank is being backed by Oklahoma Governor Mercy Chantilly Lace, a recent convert of a one-way trip to Mars. A trip to Mars is touted as the new NASA joyr…
PHOENIX – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News has just confirmed that the happiest prisoner at The Phoenix State Prison For Criminals is Bill Cosby, aka inmate #91069. Cos, as he was called before he was charged with drugging, seducing, and boinking ov…
To make it easier to track criminals, the US Department of Corrections is now requiring that inmates adopt names that fit their crimes. While most inmates just change their surname, they are allowed to change their first name instead or adopt a pun n...
HOME ROOM CONFINEMENT, BELLAIRE, OHIO -- Following the defeat of an operating levy for the eighth time in four years, the Bellaire Local School District has been forced to take the drastic measure of laying off all its high school teachers and replac...
MARIN COUNTY, California - Officials at The San Quentin Department of Corrections & Rehabilitation State Prison have informed the news media that they cannot believe the tremendous change in the attitude of the entire prison population. One hi...
LOS ANGELES - GOP political maven Ann Coulter was invited to speak at The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women and she accepted on one condition; that she be allowed to make a pitch for the GOP. The warden gladly agreed and so Miss Coulter spoke before...
MARICOPA COUNTY, Arizona - Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio has proclaimed himself to be The Toughest Sheriff in The United States. The 81-year-old received his nickname from Vice-President Joe Biden because of Arpaio's policy of making his inmates dres...
City and County Governments are drooling with envy over Louisville's age old solution for housing and feeding the many prisoners that go through their portals of power. They borrowed a page from Soylent Green and offered it up as food for thos...
CONCORD, New Hampshire - The New Hampshire Penal Bureau has issued a statement that it is working out the details in which 13,000 hard core prisoners will be released. NHPB Spokesperson Jefferson Tinpintootle told the news media that the state can...
HUNTSVILLE, Texas - Convicted criminal Lawrence Russell Brewer was convicted of a crime so horribly heinous that it cannot even be mentioned in a family publication. The state of Texas has historically allowed any convict who is getting ready to b...
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