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Funny satire stories about Houston Astros

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Funny story: Houston Astros Superstar George Springer is Headed To Canada

Houston Astros Superstar George Springer is Headed To Canada

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – In a move that's shocked baseball fans throughout the nation, Houston Astros fan-favorite George Springer will be leaving Texas and moving up to Toronto. The All-star, free-agent, outfielder and spokesman for Lone Star…

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Funny story: Trump Pardons Biden For Stealing Election

Trump Pardons Biden For Stealing Election

BILLINGSGATE POST: As if struck by a lightning bolt while on his porcelain throne, in a spirit of unbounded equanimity, unmatched since he pardoned Roger Stone, today President Trump announced his latest pardon list. Limiting it to those accused o…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros and The Boston Red Sox Are Thinking About Trading Center Fielders – George Springer for Jackie Bradley Jr.

The Houston Astros and The Boston Red Sox Are Thinking About Trading Center Fielders – George Springer for Jackie Bradley Jr.

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – It’s no secret that the honeymoon between the Houston Astros and George Springer is over. In fact, the Astros are asking for some of the wedding gifts to be returned. The Astros priority is to get something or someone f…

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Funny story: Houston Astros Super Star George Springer Says He Doesn’t Want To Be An Astro Anymore

Houston Astros Super Star George Springer Says He Doesn’t Want To Be An Astro Anymore

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – According to Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine, Astros outfielder George Springer no longer wants to play for the Astros. Springer, who is now a free agent, spoke with SBIM’s Dottie Bazooka, and told her that there are…

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Funny story: Millions of Houston Astros Fans Are Furious as Hell

Millions of Houston Astros Fans Are Furious as Hell

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – Houston Astros fans are ready to tar and feather one Senator Benjamin “The Ass” Sasse. The senator from Nebraska, during the Judge Amy Barrett senate hearing, out of the blue, mentioned that the Houston Astros are cheat…

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Funny story: The Entire Population of Texas Says That Nebraska Senator Sasse is Nothing But a Pile of Chupacabra Shit

The Entire Population of Texas Says That Nebraska Senator Sasse is Nothing But a Pile of Chupacabra Shit

AUSTIN – (Satire News) – iRumors is reporting that Texas Governor Greg Abbott has issued a proclamation prohibiting Nebraska Senator Bennie Sasse from ever setting foot in Texas. The senator from the “Crème-Style Corn State” has angered every man,…

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Funny story: Jose Altuve Denies The Houston Astros Hired a Louisiana Voodoo Woman to Put a Hex on The Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Jose Altuve Denies The Houston Astros Hired a Louisiana Voodoo Woman to Put a Hex on The Tampa Bay Devil Rays

SAN DIEGO – (Sports Satire) – Houston Astros second baseman Jose Altuve is denying reports that appeared on Fox Sports, saying that the Astros owner hired a Louisiana voodoo woman to put a hex on the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Altuve, the feisty all-st…

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Funny story: Jose Altuve Says The Houston Astros Have Learned Their Lesson

Jose Altuve Says The Houston Astros Have Learned Their Lesson

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) - Houston Astros super star Jose Altuve spoke with a reporter for CBS Sports, and told him that the Astros have learned their lesson, and they will never, ever again cheat during a baseball game. He noted that it has been…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros and the Seattle Mariners Both Make Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred a Great Big Promise

The Houston Astros and the Seattle Mariners Both Make Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred a Great Big Promise

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) - Reps for both the Seattle Mariners and the Houston Astros have promised MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred that they will no longer participate in bench-clearing brawls. According to Dottie Bazooka, with Sports Balls Illustra…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros and The Oakland A’s Brawl Could End Up Getting Each Team Hit with a $1 Million Fine

The Houston Astros and The Oakland A’s Brawl Could End Up Getting Each Team Hit with a $1 Million Fine

OAKLAND – (Sports Satire) - It appears that, lately, anytime that there is a bench-clearing incident, chances are the Astros are one of the two participating teams. One sports writer from Tijuana, Mexico, wrote that the Astros seem to draw controv…

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Funny story: Two Houston Astros Players Are Caught Wearing Fake Medical Masks

Two Houston Astros Players Are Caught Wearing Fake Medical Masks

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) - The Electoral College Astros, as many L.A. Dodger fans call them, lost to the other L.A. team, the Los Angeles Angels, 5-4. A groundskeeper reported that, during the game, he counted at least 43 hot dogs that were throw…

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Funny story: The Los Angeles Dodgers and The Houston Astros Get Into A Bench-Clearing Brawl

The Los Angeles Dodgers and The Houston Astros Get Into A Bench-Clearing Brawl

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) - As anyone who knows anything about baseball knows, the rivalry between the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Houston Astros has recently escalated to stratospheric heights. It began years ago with the Wife-Stealing Scandal, b…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Are Complaining That The Kansas City Royals Used Piped In Boos Throughout the Course of Their Game

The Houston Astros Are Complaining That The Kansas City Royals Used Piped In Boos Throughout the Course of Their Game

HOUSTON –(Sports Comedy) A lawyer for the Houston Astros has filed a legal complaint against the Kansas City Royals organization. Attorney, Rolando F. Applecross, representing the 2017 World Series champions, states that, during the game between…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Have Decided To Change Their Uniform Colors

The Houston Astros Have Decided To Change Their Uniform Colors

HOUSTON – The Astros organization recently told The Sports Mirror, they feel they've finally fallen back into the good graces with their fans, their non-fans, and the umpires union. An Astros spokesperson stated that the owner, John “Whooping” Cra…

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Funny story: The New York Yankees Announce That They Will Not Be Changing Their Name

The New York Yankees Announce That They Will Not Be Changing Their Name

NEW YORK CITY – A spokesman for the New York Yankees has stated that they have listened to the complaints of their southern fans, but the name will remain as it has been for 107 years, since 1913. A group of southern Yankees fans submitted a petit…

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Funny story: President Trump Says He'd Like To Be Bummed By Half Of The Houston Astros Team

President Trump Says He'd Like To Be Bummed By Half Of The Houston Astros Team

In revelations which take some believing, it's been rumored that President Donald Trump has said that he likes the Houston Astros baseball team so much, that he wouldn't mind being buggered by half of them. The news, first reported in 'The Texan S…

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Funny story: Houston Astros Consider Namechange

Houston Astros Consider Namechange

The Houston Astros are coming under increasing pressure to alter their team name tonight, after Black Lives Matter (BLM) representatives claimed the word 'Astros' was disrespectful to people of African origin, sounding, as it does, a bit like 'Afros'...

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