There was confusion aplenty in one household at breakfast time this morning, as a man who was speaking to his young son couldn't understand what he was saying because his mouth was full of Coco Pops. That is, 'the man couldn't understand what his…
The candidate was slurring his speech, and said under oath, "I like to drink a whoooooooooooole lot!" He then whipped out and chugged a whole bottle of Jack Daniels, then overturned the desk and made a grab for one of the interviewers, who promptl...
New York - Researchers at Columbia University say they have developed a new improved hearing aid that utilizes pubic hairs to enhance sound waves. The discovery, they say, could one day help the severely hearing impaired lead a near normal life. T...
Rubbing red wine on both ears may enrich your hearing and enjoyment of music. When people listened to some of their favourite sound-tracks after splashing red wine on their ears, they sounded much better. Scientists at the Shiraz Hearing Resear...
Barnstoneworth woman, Elizabeth Golightly was today remanded in protective custody for her own good, by Barnstoneworth Magistrates, after being accused by neighbours of being a raving loony. The court heard how Ms Golightly was widely regarded in...
Keith Olbermann, the pundit who considers his one sided rhetoric to be journalism, has been identified as "special" by scientists specializing in sound. From his laboratory at Johns Hopkins University, Dr. Blake Nickel made the following statement:...
Scientists have exploited the conduction qualities of the human bone to create a new type of hearing aid that transmits sound through people's teeth. The SoundBite directs sound through the jawbone into the inner ear and is certain to revolutionis...
A recent survey, the biggest of its kind, has found that using hand held mobile devices to make calls can lead to the agonising symptoms of Tinnitus. The debilitating condition of ringing in the ears has left many people deaf with thousands of oth...
After seven years of research in rural Italy Professor Peterson and his team of twenty-seven researchers have concluded that olive oil has no effect whatsoever on our hearing. Holding a press conference at an olive grove up in the Alps overlookin...
A hearing aid company announced today that it was giving state of the art hearing aids to the Democratic delegation in the US Senate. A company spokesman stated the following: "With the uproar going on over health care reform it seems that many...
In an almost supernatural display of extraordinary patience, auditory precision, and hypnotic concentration, 59-year-old Walter Barnes Burden of Beaver, West Virginia interrupted his favorite radio program, "The Prairie Home Companion" in order to tr...
At a glittering ceremony in a hall in Telford, the UK's most fascinating town, a company from Grimsby has scooped the British Industrial Award for a hearing aid set to revolutionise the NHS with its cheapness. Acme Medical Products has developed a...
After conducting a series of experiments in my top secret base [Just outside of Barnsley, I have discovered that hearing aids designed to aid hearing are in fact making it worse.
LOS ANGELES-Humans process a lot of information through their ears. Males of the species tend to consider a lot of this information to be superfluous. Apparently, so does Mother Nature.
Yesterday, a group of scientist and researchers in Minot, North Dakota, released a statement saying that people who popped a great quantity of bubble wrap as child was 83.2546% more likely to have hearing loss as an adult.
After hearing of all the damage caused by Eric Cane and Trina, two presumably diabolical terrorist suspects who have caused extensive damage all along the Gulf Coast, President Bush called on the CIA, the FBI, and the Home Land Security Departments t...
US District Judge Richard Matsch, the no nonsense federal judge who presided over the Oklahoma City bombing trials of Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols, will be hearing the civil suit filed against Kobe Bryant by the woman involved in the sexual hara...
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