It is rumored that Martin Shrekli raised the prices of pharmaceutical products to lessen the total world population, being part of a secret organization that shares the same views as he does. Raising the prices of pills that prevented amenable mo...
Seattle, Wa - A mother of two was so disappointed with her children that she wanted to recall her eggs. “They just didn’t turn out the way I had hoped,” she confided, after neither child called her for Mothers Day. “All I got was a text from my...
Washington D.C. - Bernie has done it again. His new healthcare bill draft is pure genius. And it's not what you think. Inspired by the British national socialist medical pogrom, and Prince Charles' desire to be reincarnated as an AIDS virus, deta...
The president announced today a major change to the Affordable Care Act, affectionately known as Obamacare. "It has come to my attention that the largest health care insurance companies have suffered as low a market gain as 570% since the ACA became...
The president announced today a major change to the Affordable Care Act, known affectionately as Obamacare. "It has come to my attention that the largest health care insurance companies have suffered as low a market gain as 400% since the ACA became...
Hoffman Estates, Illinois - K-Mart Corporation has changed the dental insurance it provides to employees to limit the number of teeth covered per individual. K-Mart's previous dental insurance covered all teeth for all paid participants. The new...
Reports coming from Heaven are indicating that God, creator of the Universe, and all powerful being, who created the earth in six (or was it seven?) days, who refused to allow Noah to put the dinosaurs on the Ark, invented cancer and AIDS and who has...
Miami, FL - A Federal judge has ruled that breathing is a pre-existing condition and therefore any medical condition that does or could affect breathing is not covered under certain health care plans. The ruling has far-reaching implications beyon...
'Mercia is making moves to provide its citizens with basic healthcare access and the people could not be more pragmatic and untrusting if they tried. They are greeting this olive branch of social justice with the same trepidation as you would bei...
The Obama Administration has something to crow about after a report on the effects of ObamaCare yielded some surprising results. "We are delighted to announce that after spending hundreds of millions of dollars, ObamaCare has made one family in O...
For those with acute or recurring asthma, a steroid inhaler is a real lifesaver. Andrea Barnes of Cincinatti has used a variety of such inhalers for several years. Last month, when she went to get her prescription filled, she was told that the $250...
Washington, DC-Mitch McConnell (R, AL) introduced legislation today to make the creation of slow websites created by the executive branch a treasonable and therefore impeachable offense and punishable for the first offense is waterboarding. For the s...
The same little kid who saved a grateful nation of gamers from the dreaded Video Game Killer has done it again. And this time there's no hiding from fame for now twelve-year-old Gregory Hanes. During a whirlwind tour of the nations top television...
"I just found out that it's true", stated Harry Valletti of New Jersey. 'I thought it was another GOP political ploy but People in my slot, $50-$150 per year as a foreman who works 6-7 days a week, I could be out over half my wages with all the new r...
In a surprising move, to demonstrate they are sincere about: holding back the debt-ceiling, dismantling ObamaCare, and shutting down the government, Republican House and Senate members are planning to gather at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial, simul...
WASHINGTON, DC - An Infernal Revenue Service (IRS) superstar in Washington says she personally examined tea party groups' applications for tax-exempt status without taking action on them for over a year in many cases. "I just never seemed to have the...
New York, NY - The state of New York is moving to ban assault shakers, according to a spokesman from the governor's office, Mr. Harry Pepper. "We have no issue, now, with salt shakers. But who, in their right mind, needs an assault shaker?", Mr.
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