Hospital executives are reeling this morning as they prepare to be surveyed on a new standard in patient care. "Of course," said one Mid-Atlantic suburban hospital administrator, "We are aware that people need to have their respirations, pulse, tempe…
PFfizer (or however you spell it) has put vaccines in gum! For all those bratty kids and their suspicious parents who don’t want to take their medicine … who doesn’t love a stick of gum? This gum is different, however. It sticks so well, that you…
Medicine has announced a new disease Long Obesity. They expect to make a lot of money treating it. There has always been Obesity, about 10% of the human raced inherit Obesity genes. Most get obese from years of overeating. Human society h…
A recent British study at CCN Online reported the more Sex a man had the better his Brain functioned. British scientists strapped Activity Monitors on the thighs of 4, 500 men and Sex beat out Bicycling as the best activity for Brain Health.
The BCC reports on a Cold-Water swimming Club - 'BlueTits' - with chapters around Britain. It became very popular during Covid. They have 100,000 members from Canada to Estonia. A spokesman explained the purpose of the Cold-Water bathing to k…
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - The World Health Federation (WHF) has issued a warning to the citizens of the United States regarding drinking water bottles that were manufactured in a plant in Kalamazoo, Michigan. An article which appeared in The Detro…
LIVERPOOL, England - (UK Satire) - According To Tickety Boo News, a noted UK scientist has just discovered an ingredient that when put into a crumpet will remove unsightly women's cellulite in just 4 or 5 applications. Dr. D. Teodore Bissenbister,…
Danny the Hollywood Diet Guru, with the curly hair, ever youthful skin, and gym physique, had to mention in his new book, 'Diet Guru to the Stars' - one of the big Frauds in Medicine. "I just had to," he said. "The scandal of it all." Danny expla…
MOSCOW - (Satire News) - The Kremlin Voice is sad to announce that the leader of the Russian people may have to step down due to an aliment that they describe as being embarrassing-as-shit. The KV stated that Putin did not want them to put the par…
CLEVELAND, Ohio - (Satire News) - Doctors at Cleveland's LeBron James General Hospital have cleared up a very important matter regarding the dreaded Monkeypox virus. Dr. Silus Sultan, informed the news media that there has never been, even a singl…
AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - The largest corporation in the entire universe has just announced an astounding cure for the dreaded female period. Chemists for Bezos-Musk Inc., after extensive research studies have discovered a pill, that when ta…
TALLAHASSEE, Florida - (Satire News) - A majority of citizens of The Plywood State, are saying that they put the full blame for the spreading Monkeypox virus on DeSantis The Devil. One resident of the pistol-looking state, Delfin D. Seaweed, 78, s…
LONDON - (Satire News) - The United Kingdom is extremely concerned with the recent outbreak of the Monkeypox Virus, which has been narrowed down to people who have pet monkeys. The World Health Federation (WHF) has said that the dreaded virus is b…
Why should abortion rights be a guy's thing to decide? What's next? Will guys on the Supreme Court decide whether women can use tampons? Does a black robe make a guy an authority about women's health issues? "No, that tampon looks too much like a…
CICERO, Illinois - (Satire News) - The McDonalds Corporation has always listened to the buying public. In a move that will most assuredly increase Mickey D's burger sales, the big burger giant is now selling Diet Big Macs. The new burger only h…
SEATTLE - (Satire News) - All of her life, Dora Flora Hogwood, has battled fatness. When she was born she was so huge, that her mom's screams could be heard four blocks from the hospital's delivery room. At birth, little Dora tipped the scales at…
Las Vegas, NV - The upswing in requests for the male hormone, testosterone by women has doctors asking, why? "I have asked several of my patients, but I have yet to hear an answer that makes any sense. One woman told me she felt she needed it to p…
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