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GOP Leaders: Voters Will Reject Us at the Polls Unless We Pass Really Unpopular Legislation

Funny story: GOP Leaders: Voters Will Reject Us at the Polls Unless We Pass Really Unpopular Legislation

Washington - Republican House Speaker Paul Ryan and joint committees of the House and Senate worked feverishly into the evenings this week to product a tax reform bill in the next few weeks. The urgency of getting a bill to the President's desk by t...

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Homeless Should Pay Tax for Homes They Don't Have, Insist Republicans.

Funny story: Homeless Should Pay Tax for Homes They Don't Have, Insist Republicans.

Enough of paying taxes for the things you have. How about paying them for the things you don't have? This message resonated at the recent gathering of the group of brave men and women, known as the GOP. They decided to stick it to the establishmen...

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U.S. Intel: ISIS Sees Ally in Trump, GOP "They Are A Greater Threat To Americans Than Us"

Funny story: U.S. Intel: ISIS Sees Ally in Trump, GOP "They Are A Greater Threat To Americans Than Us"

American intelligence sources say they have intercepted communications at the highest level between ISIS and other terrorist groups that see an alignment between the goals of their organizations and the policies of the Republican Party. The source...

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GOP Selects the Turtle as its New Mascot

Funny story: GOP Selects the Turtle as its New Mascot

Washington, DC - Since 1874 the Republican Party has been symbolized by the elephant, in contrast to the Democratic Party's donkey. Yesterday the GOP announced that it will no longer use the elephant in any advertising or other campaigns. After...

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Secret Audio Tape Reveals GOP Culture of Reporter Body Slamming

Funny story: Secret Audio Tape Reveals GOP Culture of Reporter Body Slamming

At a GOP auction for bankers and health insurance providers, Paul Ryan was recorded touting the body slamming abilities of certain senators. Apparently the senators and congressmen with the best stats for reporter body slamming auctioned off for the...

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Harrison Ford Fans Plead To Famed Actor To Land Plane On Trump And Pence. "Please use your awesome and terrifying aerial abilities for good instead of evil" says fans.

Harrison Ford, famous for playing such roles as Han Solo, and Indiana Jones, has a FUN new hobby of landing airplanes in comedic places. He's recently landed a series of small planes, ones that were built by the Wright Brothers personally, onto su...

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America's Newest Heroes: After Tragic Burning, Willem Defoe & Denis Leary Donate Faces to Kellyanne Conway for Transplant...

We've all seen the videos. The press conference. When America's newest sweetheart, Kellyanne Conway's pants suddenly, and shockingly, burst into flames during a discussion about "facts". The most popular of these youtube videos is titled "why-are...

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Walking Dead Zombies Responsible For 3,000,000 Illegal Votes Cast by Dead People - Trump Allegations Vindicated.

There had been much debate about Donald Trump's completely unsubstantiated claims that three million illegal votes were cast in the 2016 election. This claim was brought up by the press corps (no pun intended) ad nauseum, as well as their questi...

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To Explain Recent Actions of Trump Administration, Sean "Melissa" Spicer Claims: Liberal Scientists & Media Secretly Placing Optical Implants Into The Eyes of Americans to Alter Reality

Today, press secretary Sean "Melissa" Spicer, (best known for his irrational and paralyzing fear of young girls from the ages of 2-7, a serious medical condition known as acute pediaphobia), controversially claimed: "Liberal scientists, funded by...

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The Grim Reaper to Attend President-elect Donald Trump's Inauguration

Funny story: The Grim Reaper to Attend President-elect Donald Trump's Inauguration

WASHINGTON, D.C.--Trump spokesperson and Slytherin wannabe Kellyanne Conway announced today on FOX News that the Grim Reaper would be attending President-elect Trump's Inauguration on January 20. Explained Mrs. Conway, through her forked tongue: "Y...

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GOP To Kill Thousands Of Sick People

Funny story: GOP To Kill Thousands Of Sick People

CHICAGO TRIBUNE Recent studies indicate that Obamacare (The Affordable Care Act) has saved thousands of lives and prolonged the lives and decreased suffering of several millions. When asked about this, Paul Ryan said, "We're going to repeal i...

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Trump Says U.S. Military Is Stupid But Beautiful

Funny story: Trump Says U.S. Military Is Stupid But Beautiful

The United States has the most powerful military in the world and in 2015 spent more on the military than the next seven biggest-spending nations combined. For fiscal year 2015, military spending is projected to account for 54 percent of all fede...

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Move To Drug Test Gun Owners In Open Carry States

Funny story: Move To Drug Test Gun Owners In Open Carry States

31 states in the U.S. allow citizens to openly carry their firearms. In 10 of these states , someone who applies for welfare cash assistance through the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) has to be screened and tested for substance abus...

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The Babysitter's Club Revokes Donald Trump's Twitter

Funny story: The Babysitter's Club Revokes Donald Trump's Twitter

After staying up all night playing Russian Roulette with America, I spy with Russia, and sniff & tweet with some nasty girls, Donald Trump is in trouble again! His team of babysitters woke up to chaos at the crack of Trump which turned into more...

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Trump Is Physically Restrained From Tweeting By His Campaign

Funny story: Trump Is Physically Restrained From Tweeting By His Campaign

Donald Trump has been known for putting his unfiltered thoughts on Twitter at all hours. It is here that he excoriates people who have hurt his feelings. Over the years, he has issued a stream of cruel and unrestrained insults, savaging his rivals...

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Donald Trump's Lincolnesque Moment

Funny story: Donald Trump's Lincolnesque Moment

The following is a transcript from Donald Trump's speech at Gettysburg, October 22, 2016. Gettysburg, PA--Eleven score and seven gropes ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived by libertines, and dedicated to the pro...

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Dead people joining protest movements and voter lines

Funny story: Dead people joining protest movements and voter lines

New studies indicate large numbers of dead people are lining up to vote across the country in advance of November 8. Nigel J. Provender, president of CWS (Cadavers With Soul), is in one of these lines. He reveals that Mr. Trump's claim dead peo...

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Hillary Should Smile When She Discusses Rape In Military

Funny story: Hillary Should Smile When She Discusses Rape In Military

On Wednesday night, democratic nominee for president Hillary Clinton used her time during the Commander-in-Chief Forum to talk about, among other things, national security, and how to confront ISIS, veteran's suicide, rape in the military, and taking...

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Breaking news…

Putin Has Stopped Taking Trump's Calls

Even soul-less, sociopathic dictators have their limits.
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