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Funny satire stories about England

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Funny story: Racist Bulgarian Ultras So Disgusted, They Left At Halftime

Racist Bulgarian Ultras So Disgusted, They Left At Halftime

There was another easy three points for the England football team in Sofia last night, as Gareth Southgate's boys absolutely annihilated Bulgaria by a trouncingly-reassuring 6-0 scoreline, settling fans' nerves after last week's poor show in the Czec...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Helps England Almost Draw

Harry Maguire Helps England Almost Draw

It turned out not to be England's night last night, after they were beaten by a late, late goal to lose 2-1 to the Czech Republic in Prague. The Three Lions took the lead through a Harry Kane penalty after 5 minutes, but one can't help thinking it...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Named England Captain For Czech Game

Harry Maguire Named England Captain For Czech Game

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender, is to be given the captain's armband when England travel to Prague to play the Czech Republic in their European Championship Group A qualifying match tomorrow, Friday 11 October. For Maguire,...

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Funny story: Trump Insists That the Next G7 Conference Be Held at His Place

Trump Insists That the Next G7 Conference Be Held at His Place

Biarritz, France In an announcement that surprised no one, President Donald Trump wants to hold next year's conference at one of his clubs in Florida. "Everyone will be happy. We have waiters that don't bathe to wait on the French, we've got spott...

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Funny story: Ambitious Millennial opens bar in parents' basement

Ambitious Millennial opens bar in parents' basement

30-year-old Joe Taylor has reportedly opened a bar in the basement of his parents’ home in London. Joe’s most frequent customer is Mr. David Taylor, a lawyer at a prestigious law firm. He is reportedly depressed, and jumps at the chance of walkin...

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Funny story: Winks Thinks A Football Tale

Winks Thinks A Football Tale

Tottenham starlet and all round average midfielder, Harry Winks, has been detained under the mental health act after proclaiming that “trophies are just around the corner” for his Tottenham team. He followed this bizarre outburst with statements like...

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Funny story: Phil Neville Philosophical About England Defeat

Phil Neville Philosophical About England Defeat

England Women's football team coach, Phil Neville, was philosophical in defeat last night, as his charges went out of the World Cup in Paris with a 2-1 reverse at the hands of holders and favorites, the USA. Neville told reporters: "It's back to t...

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Funny story: David Batty Deserves England Send-Off, says Phil Neville

David Batty Deserves England Send-Off, says Phil Neville

England Netball team boss Phil Neville was adamant yesterday that nobody should question David Batty's recall to the England football squad for the friendly against the USA. "I'm adamant that nobody should question David Batty's recall to the Engl...

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Funny story: Man Admits He Had 'No Idea' Who Jadon Sancho Was

Man Admits He Had 'No Idea' Who Jadon Sancho Was

A man reading a report on the football match played last night between Croatia and England, had to confess that he had no idea who Jadon Sancho was, and had never heard of the bloke. "I'd never heard of the bloke," he confessed. Moys Kenwood, 5...

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Funny story: John Terry 'Retires' From Football, To Disguise The Fact That Nobody Wants Him

John Terry 'Retires' From Football, To Disguise The Fact That Nobody Wants Him

John Terry, the former Chelsea and England player, has announced his retirement from football, as nobody wants him anymore. Terry, 37, played more than 700 games for Chelsea, and won 78 England caps. He joined Aston Villa for the 2017/18 campaign,...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Turns Down Manchester United Move As He Fucking Hates Them

Harry Maguire Turns Down Manchester United Move As He Fucking Hates Them

Harry Maguire, the Leicester City and England defender, has turned down the opportunity to join Manchester United, saying he fucking hates them. Maguire, 25, was born in Sheffield, and has always been a Sheffield United supporter. As such, there...

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Funny story: England: Fourth Place Is Coming Home!

England: Fourth Place Is Coming Home!

Let the celebrations begin! The England football team, so often derided in the past and labelled 'disappointing' at major tournaments, have at last 'completed the job', 'delivered the goods', and, in one last pathetic strain for a brilliant flower...

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Funny story: England Still Have Everything To Play For

England Still Have Everything To Play For

England manager Gareth Southgate knows that he has a tricky job on his hands to raise his troops for tomorrow's game with Belgium, but has buoyed them with the rallying call that: Everything is still to play for - except for the World Cup, that...

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Funny story: Heatwave Causes Nudity Problems In Suburban UK

Heatwave Causes Nudity Problems In Suburban UK

The continuing heatwave which has seen temperatures across the UK rise to same levels as other countries across the world, has brought with it an influx of complaints. Apart from the usual "it's too bloody hot" whingers, the general public is comp...

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Funny story: Football-England Loses and Wins at the Same Time

Football-England Loses and Wins at the Same Time

In a classic twist similar to the end of the film" Inception", the England team have simultaneously won and lost a match to Belgium. By losing to the pus-filled pimple on the face of the Earth that is Belgium, England have actually won an easier r...

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Funny story: Lucky England Through To Last 16

Lucky England Through To Last 16

England progressed to the last 16 of the World Cup last night after they defeated a plucky Panama side 6-1, but it might have been all so different. Harry Kane, England's captain, scored a hat-trick, but it was was probably the most fortunate in h...

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Funny story: England Trounces Panama after Surprise Goals

England Trounces Panama after Surprise Goals

England surged to a 6-1 victory against Panama today in the most surprising and uplifting match so far in the World Cup. Harry Kane was so successful at scoring goals during the match that he actually scored a goal withour realising it and had to...

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