Leona Abernathy, principal of Belfry Middle School in Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, was determined to allow her students the opportunity to experience Nature without boundaries. Most of the students were farm kids, and had observed farm animals doing t…
The old hens posing as widows in Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, had something to cluck about this weekend. An early morning raid on Elmer Smuckmeister’s farmhouse Friday morning by FBI agents caught everyone in the small farming village by surprise.
BILLINGSGATE POST: Another major bank has just bit the dust, joining Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank of New York. Beaver Crossing National Bank was founded over one hundred years ago by Homer Smuckmeister, Elmer’s great, great grandfathe…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Due to the critical acclaim the previous “Ask Dr. Billingsgate” feature received, including mention of a possible Pulitzer Prize, this feature will be continued in today’s edition of the BILLINGSGATE POST. Dear Dr. Billingsgate…
BILLINGSGATE POST: During the 2022 NBA season, the average height of NBA players was 6’6”, which is 8 inches taller than the US average for males. The average height of a male Pygmy is about 5 feet. The world's shortest people are the Efe of Zaire,…
BILLINGSGATE POST: From time to time, the need for a forum to answer some of life’s intimate questions outweighs all other necessities. It also provides an opportunity for Dr. Billingsgate to utilize the profound knowledge and intellectual bonafide…
BILLINGSGATE POST: After watching President Biden getting a little too friendly with one of the turkeys he pardoned before Thanksgiving, Elmer Smuckmeister, no stranger to his own sheep, admonished Joe Biden: “Don’t do it, Joe. Those rascals will…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Like Mr. Smith, when he went to Washington in 1939, Elmer Smuckmeister is seen as a naive lightweight and a country bumpkin by almost everyone with whom he comes into contact, including the Washington press corps. But Smuckmeist…
BILLINGSGATE POST: It is beyond irony that a member of the committee investigating UFOs has been accused of being a space alien himself. Appearing before the first congressional public hearing on UFOs in a decade, Elmer Smuckmeister dropped a bom…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot’s plan to curb violence in the city is facing an unprecedented dateline. This past year, there were 777 homicides reported in Chicago, ending the deadliest year in a quarter century. With the present p…
BILLINGSGATE POST: On Elmer Smuckmeister’s chicken ranch outside Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, the hens were singing, “He loves my walk. He loves my cluck. He’s starring me with Donald Duck.” Who were they talking about? It certainly wasn’t about…
BILLINGSGATE POST: The three-word chant has become an internet sensation after an NBC reporter at the annual Beaver Crossing Cow Pie Throwing Contest incorrectly reported that fans in the stands were chanting "Let’s Go Elmer” following a colossal co…
BILLINGSGATE POST: When Elmer Smuckmeister retired from the Navy SEALS in 1989 and returned to Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, to raise hogs on the family farm, even his close friends had no idea that he was a living legend. Having spent nearly six years…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since Joe Cocolochek won the shot put gold medal in the 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin, Germany, has anyone from Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, won an Olympic medal. Although overshadowed by Jesse Owens, who won gold medals in t…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Elmer Smuckmeister, a retired farmer living in Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, was proud of the Yale diploma he had nailed to the wall of his barn, right next to a picture of his 4-H heifer, Ellie, who won first prize at the 1960 State…
BILLINGSGATE POST: He has to be somewhere. Now we know. With most of the incoming news on Hunter Biden’s whereabouts coming from the New York Post, including lurid pictures of Hunter balancing two totally nekid hookers on his lower abdomen, each fa…
BILLINGSGATE POST: “WTF!” The chances of hitting a populated area are small, but not zero. The Long March 5B rocket carrying China’s Tianhe space station from the Wenchang Space Launch Center in southern China on April 29, was carried out despite the…
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