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Funny satire stories about Drug Cartels

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Funny story: Guatemala’s Most Powerful Drug Cartel Has Just Purchased a Professional Soccer Team

Guatemala’s Most Powerful Drug Cartel Has Just Purchased a Professional Soccer Team

GUATEMALA CITY – (Sports Satire) - Guatemala’s Nacional News is reporting that the Tapachula Hombres Drug Cartel has just purchased Guatemala’s most popular soccer team, the Guatemala City Banananistas. The Cartel’s drug lord, Gomer Ixtantan, told…

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Funny story: Guatemala’s Two Top Drug Cartels Are In a Big Drug War

Guatemala’s Two Top Drug Cartels Are In a Big Drug War

ANTIGUA, Guatemala – The Cartel Drug War down in Guatemala has turned into a ruthless, inhumane, and downright stressful situation. The two main factions are the Tapachula Hombres, headed by ex-attorney, Gomer Ixtantan, who is one of the best lawy…

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Funny story: What Happened to David Wesley? Part 1

What Happened to David Wesley? Part 1

Dear Readers, My name is Hugh Diamond. I’m a big wave surfer and investigative journalist. David E. Wesley gave me his credentials to his account on The Spoof.com to share my story. In October 2012, when I read in a news article by Bill Searc...

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Funny story: GOP to Become "3rd Party" in California?

GOP to Become "3rd Party" in California?

Sacramento, CA - Political tensions are rising on the West Coast. In a new legislative movement, President Donald Trump may have to make his re-election bid as a "Third-Party-Candidate", or as a "Write-In" vote. The new election laws could make it ne...

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Funny story: Commerce Department Approves Big Pharma Merger

Commerce Department Approves Big Pharma Merger

Officials at the US Department of Commerce endorsed the largest merger in corporate history by rubber-stamping the paperwork prior to returning it to the roll in the toilet stall at the lavatory down the hall. The amalgamation involved the acquis...

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Funny story: Drug Cartels Trick Of Sending Young Kids Across U.S. Border Successfully Fools Guards

Drug Cartels Trick Of Sending Young Kids Across U.S. Border Successfully Fools Guards

Suspicions have arisen lately that the recent spate of Latin children coming across the southern U.S. border were no spontaneous occurrence. Darker implications have revealed themselves. "The operation was a total success!" states Juan Cokefetcher...

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Funny story: Scientists Discover That Potheads Cannot Recognize Connection Between Their Stash And Murderous Drug Cartels.

Scientists Discover That Potheads Cannot Recognize Connection Between Their Stash And Murderous Drug Cartels.

Scientists have finally proven that there is a big disconnect in the minds of those heavily into pot. It has been long suspected that marijuana use has negative effects upon the brains and bodies of partakers, a claim equally long denied by the users...

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Funny story: Mexican drug lord escapes death twice; maybe the third time will be the charm

Mexican drug lord escapes death twice; maybe the third time will be the charm

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- Mexican Drug lord Nazario Moreno was killed again on Sunday, when federal forces shot him during a firefight. It was the second time since 2010 that the bandito was killed by authorities. "He is persistent for a dead man," a...

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Funny story: Flow of Guns to Mexico Leaves Too Few Guns for U. S. Carnage

Flow of Guns to Mexico Leaves Too Few Guns for U. S. Carnage

Gun enthusiasts say the millions of guns that flow across the border illegally for use by drug cartels in their war against the Mexican government must stop if mass killers in the U.S. are to reach the success level they're capable of. "Right now...

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Funny story: US Breathes a Sigh of Relief over Bus Crash that Killed 30, No Guns Were Involved

US Breathes a Sigh of Relief over Bus Crash that Killed 30, No Guns Were Involved

A bus speeding northbound on Route 85 heading into Albuquerque, New Mexico lost control and careened off the highway, flipped over a guardrail and rolled down a steep embankment before coming to rest upside down at the bottom of a ravine. The bus re...

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Funny story: New Obama Campaign to Drive "Opposition" Voters from America

New Obama Campaign to Drive "Opposition" Voters from America

WASHINGTON, DC - In May 2012, billionaire Eduardo Saverin made the news by renouncing his US citizenship; however, he is not alone. Since President Obama took office, the number of Americans leaving the country in 2011 was more than 600% higher than...

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Funny story: The Zeta drug cartel resorts to random fear

The Zeta drug cartel resorts to random fear

The Zeta drug cartel released a statement this Saturday that they will stop harming innocent by standards if the police stay away from their drug operations. They are taking responsibility for training and releasing pit bulls on the streets in New...

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Funny story: UN declare parts of the UK no-go drug Ganglands!

UN declare parts of the UK no-go drug Ganglands!

The UN have officially declared certain areas of the UK suburbs of LA. It seems that these "no-go" areas are homing "Homies" of drug gangs and cartels similar to their parent gangs in the US and especially LA. Here are just a few of the friendly b...

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Funny story: The Zeta Cartel Strike Back With a Vengeance

The Zeta Cartel Strike Back With a Vengeance

The Zeta Cartel sent a letter to a Colorado police station in Granada, claiming responsibility for the death of 21 people who died of listeria contamination found in cantaloupes. The Zeta Cartel mailing was sent to the police stamped with double...

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Funny story: Mexican government finally admit they have lost control

Mexican government finally admit they have lost control

The Mexican government has finally acknowledged that it has lost control of the country and that drug cartels are now running the once proud nation. The Mexican president, Felipe Calderón, in an announcement beamed live across Mexico stated that h...

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Funny story: The Los Angeles Dodgers File For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy - They May End Up Moving South of The Border To Mexico

The Los Angeles Dodgers File For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy - They May End Up Moving South of The Border To Mexico

LOS ANGELES - The popular refrain of "Play ball!" may no longer be heard around DodgerLand. Team owner Frank "Excedrin Headache" McCourt has had to file Chapter 11 Bankruptcy and has stated that he will not be able to pay the players come pay day...

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Funny story: Mexican drug cartels running out of room to store cash

Mexican drug cartels running out of room to store cash

MEXICO CITY, Mexico - A confidential source, Mr. X, with close ties to the Mexican drug cartels here, has revealed that it is becoming difficult to find new places to stuff bills. "The cartels blame QE2. They say it is resulting in too much money...

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