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Four Preakness horses test positive for horsemeat

The National Racing Association announced today that four entrants into the recent Preakness tested positive for horsemeat. A spokesman for the group said that this was a "dark day in horseracing, darker that that day when it was really dark mo...

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Lance Armstrong stripped of cancer victory

ATLANTA, GA-In response to disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong's admission that he had used performance-enhancing drugs, the American Cancer Society announced today that it had stripped Armstrong of his 1997 victory over cancer, and the 42-year-old...

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Air New Zealand ad goes 'balls to the wall'

Funny story: Air New Zealand ad goes 'balls to the wall'

AUKLAND, New Zealand (ABSNN) - Air New Zealand aired a new "ballsy" ad featuring Belarusian Olympian Nadzeya Ostapchuk who won the London Games' shot-put competition, but was forced to surrender her Gold Medal when she failed a drug test. "The ad ca...

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Coastguard warns of armband slick

Funny story: Coastguard warns of armband slick

The US Coastguard in California is warning people to beware of a large slick of yellow silicon rubber. This comes in the wake of the United States Anti-Doping Agency's damming report into Lance Armstrong. "People are taking their yellow armbands...

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Team USA Smashes 27 Year Old World Record

Funny story: Team USA Smashes 27 Year Old World Record

The USA claimed a spectacular victory in the women's 4x100m relay, smashing a record set by the former, and somewhat interestingly named, German Democratic Republic, or East Germany. The women's 4x100m relay record had stood since 1985 and was the...

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Tour de France Defines Acceptable Doping Standards for 2012

Funny story: Tour de France Defines Acceptable Doping Standards for 2012

Following the latest controversy over delayed doping accusations for Spanish rider, Roberto Contador, the Tour de France announced yesterday that there would be a new set of acceptable drug usage rules posted for the 2012 international event. "Bas...

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Olympic Doping Scandal Jolts Fans

Funny story: Olympic Doping Scandal Jolts Fans

Lausanne, Switzerland - A committee of officials have dramatically taken away all 100 medals awarded to Chinese athletes at the Beijing Olympics following drug retesting. Committee chairman, Stan Ozolol, defended the controversial decision at a recen...

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Duracell Bunny sacked after testing positive for steroids

Funny story: Duracell Bunny sacked after testing positive for steroids

A spokeswoman from Duracell, today confirmed that the company has sacked the Duracell Bunny after testing positive for steroids and other controlled substances on the film set of their latest commercial.

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Breaking news…

Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real

He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.
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