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Dr. Quigley: The Editor Apologises

Funny story: Dr. Quigley: The Editor Apologises

It is not often that we at The Spoof are victims of hoaxes, fraudulent behaviour or what the great unwashed call "scams", but in the case of so-called Dr. Quigley I feel it is behoven upon me to apologise for his sexually obsessed articles and gratuitous behaviour. The Spoof is a reputable news organ and we thoroughly research the material which we produce, and we vet our employees and their qu...

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Dr. Quigley Answers Ladies' Psychosexual Questions

Funny story: Dr. Quigley Answers Ladies' Psychosexual Questions

Dear Dr Quigley My husband suffers from recurrent migraines, but his GP always insists on personally taking a sample of semen whenever he sees her. He looks forward to this regular treatment but I am not sure this is helping him, as he doesn't seem to have the same energy as before, which is disappointing. Is there anything I can do? Mrs. S. Perm-Donor, Balham. Mrs. Perm-Donor, your husband ha...

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Dr. Quigley Answers Gentlemen's Health Questions

Funny story: Dr. Quigley Answers Gentlemen's Health Questions

Dear Dr Quigley I suffer from recurrent migraines, but my GP always wants me to give a sample of semen whenever I see her, and she insists on helping me. Is this right? S. Perm-Donor, Balham. Lots of patients would love such personal service from their GP. It sounds like she is using the ancient Chinese practice of acuwankture to relieve your headaches and I am sure you feel much better afterw...

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Failing London Cardiac Unit Cites "Dark Forces" in Place

Funny story: Failing London Cardiac Unit Cites "Dark Forces" in Place

A London cardiac unit has claimed "dark forces" and "unruly spirits" are responsible for an increase in cardiac-related deaths over the past 12 months. In a "damning" report, a specialist has blamed a "culture of voodooism" and "black magic" in th...

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Two-Thirds of Americans Are Despondent But Only One-Third Are Clinically Depressed/Suicidal

Funny story: Two-Thirds of Americans Are Despondent But Only One-Third Are Clinically Depressed/Suicidal

A report published today in JAMA Internal Medicine revealed that that the emotional state of the large majority (63 percent) of Americans is general despondency, but the good news is that only slightly more than one-third (34 percent) are clinically...

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Dr Jane Barton Deserves Recognition as a Serial Killer

Funny story: Dr Jane Barton Deserves Recognition as a Serial Killer

Supporters of Dr Jane Barton, who was not prosecuted for overdosing 92 patients, have demanded that her case is revised following new evidence that it was actually more like 500 patients with a further 200 that can't be proved. The doctor's follow...

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FDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim

Funny story: FDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim

Late last night, the Food and Drug Administration issued a public health advisory, warning that nearly 25 percent of Americans are pathologically fit and trim - victims of the newly-coined disorder known as "hyper-healthism." "We're at a turning p...

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Painful ingrown penis removal videos to trend online predicts doctor pimple popper

Funny story: Painful ingrown penis removal videos to trend online predicts doctor pimple popper

Los Angeles, CA - In an exclusive interview with Dr. Pimple Popper, who called our newsroom's deviant hotline, the next big thing in medical videos will be painful ingrown penis removal videos shot at home. The doctor would not reveal her sources, b...

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Liberal Doctors Give Hernia Patient Full Sex Re-assignment Surgery

Funny story: Liberal Doctors Give Hernia Patient Full Sex Re-assignment Surgery

Alvin Benton checked into Baltimore Surgical Hospital for a routine hernia repair and woke up 14 hours later to find he had undergone a sex change operation and is now physically a woman. A team of five surgeons led by Dr. Chopra Wienerhoff perfor...

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Doctors Discover Man Suffers From "Compulsively Speaking Your Mind With No Pretense Then Quickly Changing It So As Not To Disrupt the Sensitivities of Society Syndrome"

Funny story: Doctors Discover Man Suffers From "Compulsively Speaking Your Mind With No Pretense Then Quickly Changing It So As Not To Disrupt the Sensitivities of Society Syndrome"

Indianapolis, IN - Doctors here at the Indianapolis State Medical Center have diagnosed the first man with a mental disorder they are calling: "Compulsively Speaking Your Mind With No Pretense Then Quickly Changing It So As Not To Disrupt the Sensiti...

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Man demands surgery to give him another anus

Chicago man Chicago Mann, 37, has demanded that his doctor "tears him a new one". Mr Mann says that he has always identified as a man with two anuses, although he was born with only one. "It's literally as if I'm a man with two anuses trapped in t...

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Men and women Viagra balance

Dr. Clydale Chamafert research spokesperson for the Center reported today that introduction of the new female 'Viagra," called Flibanserin, will create new problems in male sexuality as well as female sexuality. Dr Chamafert, looking nattily in hi...

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Doctors Can Choose To See Only Healthy People Under New Agreement

Funny story: Doctors Can Choose To See Only Healthy People Under New Agreement

Following recent reports which incited outrage when it was revealed that doctors were opting out of working unsociable hours, new proposals have been passed that allow them the option of not having to see patients at all. Under the new scheme doct...

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'Get well' cards speeding the spread of Ebola, CDC warns

Funny story: 'Get well' cards speeding the spread of Ebola, CDC warns

Washington - A new study by the Centers for Disease Control has found that the common "get well" card is the leading carrier of the deadly Ebola virus. The government health agency has issued emergency usage guidelines in response. "Your typical g...

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Official - Wanking Not A Cause Of Blindness!

Funny story: Official - Wanking Not A Cause Of Blindness!

A Medical Journal has published sensational clinical trial results proving that continuous wanking is not a cause of blindness. The results, published in "Better Lancit" contradicted what was commonly believed to be the truth. In the controlled e...

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Real Reason For Ebola In Dallas Discovered

Funny story: Real Reason For Ebola In Dallas Discovered

DALLAS -- Health officials' handling of the first Ebola patient diagnosed in the United States continued to raise questions Friday, after the hospital that is treating the patient and that mistakenly sent him home when he first came to its emergency...

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Obese patient sues doctor for "inappropriate" weight comment

Funny story: Obese patient sues doctor for "inappropriate" weight comment

A doctor in Carlisle is being taken to court by one of his patients. During a meeting with a Dr Yimenez about his upcoming stomach-stapling surgery, the patient observed that the doctor had made one or two inappropriate comments about his weight.

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The Doctor Will See You Now

Funny story: The Doctor Will See You Now

The most noble doctor of good standing and wealth you should see once a month if you're in bad health. He'll knock out the lights and just in one word instantly removes your vision with worms. He'll put you in a trance make you water his plants and whilst operating he'll play music and dance. All manner of disorders including head and the brain are dealt with quite easily in excruciating pain.

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Breaking news…

Trump Sorry For 'Horseface' Tweet

Trump apologizes to Stormy Daniels for calling her 'horseface' in a
tweet. Tweet was actually meant for Kelly Ann Conway.
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