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New Study Reports that People Aren't Eating Nearly Enough Seaweed

Funny story: New Study Reports that People Aren't Eating Nearly Enough Seaweed

A new study recently published by the Joint Center for Nutrition and Oceanics recently reported that people aren't eating nearly enough seaweed. “It's alarming,” stated JCNO Director John Griebel. “We'd assumed that most Americans were consuming s...

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Carnivorous Weightlifter Finds a "Vegan" Diet that Works for Him

Funny story: Carnivorous Weightlifter Finds a "Vegan" Diet that Works for Him

Eight months ago, 380-pound competitive powerlifter Craig Ramey, in a quest to pack on more muscle, adopted an entirely carnivorous diet, consisting solely of meat and eggs, occasionally coupled with cheese. That, together with a rigorous steroid reg...

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Charleston Woman Finds Success with Intermittent Fasting Between Meals

Funny story: Charleston Woman Finds Success with Intermittent Fasting Between Meals

After years of yo-yo dieting and struggling with her weight, 28-year-old Kendra Burke of Charleston, South Carolina, says that she's found success with intermittent fasting between meals. Intermittent fasting, currently one of the world's most pop...

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Diet of the Millennium? Unethical Veganism Overtakes Paleo (and Gluten-Free)

Funny story: Diet of the Millennium? Unethical Veganism Overtakes Paleo (and Gluten-Free)

Decades following the publication of Australian philosopher Peter Singer's landmark treatise Animal Liberation, which prompted dozens (some say even hundreds) of morally-conscious Americans to adopt a vegan lifestyle for ethical reasons, experts have...

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After local man reads foreign food label with kilocalorie counts instead of calorie counts, extreme diet leads to death

Funny story: After local man reads foreign food label with kilocalorie counts instead of calorie counts, extreme diet leads to death

Washington, D.C. - Excess calorie intake is the primary contributor to the obesity epidemic plaguing most developed nations, but eating a minimum level of calories is key to life and longevity. We all know that we should eat about 2,000 calories per...

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Comcast subscribers experience weight loss, scientific study reveals

Funny story: Comcast subscribers experience weight loss, scientific study reveals

Subscribers to Comcast are likely to lose weight, the National Institute of Weight Loss found. The finding holds true for obese and non obese adults. The NIWL is recommending that doctors instruct their overweight patients to sign up with Comcast...

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The Internationally Acclaimed Ballast Diet Is Explained By Its Creator

Funny story: The Internationally Acclaimed Ballast Diet Is Explained By Its Creator

The Ballast diet has taken the international slimming world by storm. Below is a transcript of a recent, rare radio interview with its creator, Professor Swan Morrison, in which he discusses the scheme in unprecedented detail. ~*~*~*~*~*~ 'Hello Professor Morrison and welcome to the Breakfast Radio Show.' 'Thank you for inviting me onto your programme.' 'You've invented a revolutionar...

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Man sentenced to treadmill after eating doughnuts before lunch

Funny story: Man sentenced to treadmill after eating doughnuts before lunch

A man who ate doughnuts before having lunch has appeared before Bolton Crown Court to be sentenced. Twisted Luke Smith, of Sharnford Close, Bolton, indulged in the sugary delights on Friday 15th May 2015 just before lunch time. The 21-year-old...

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Scientists discover death could actually be good for your health

Funny story: Scientists discover death could actually be good for your health

Scientists at the university of Stockholm have revealed that dying could actually have substantial health benefits for your body. Previously experts felt that when a person expires there were no advantages and that life simply ended, however that has...

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Extend Your Shitty, Meaningless Existence With the Nutrirocket Food Extractor!

Funny story: Extend Your Shitty, Meaningless Existence With the Nutrirocket Food Extractor!

The Nutrirocket food extractor is the latest, most scientifically-proven way to extend one's painful, lost existence indefinitely. Thanks to the most innovative in 21st century euphemisms, we have magically turned a 40 dollar blender into a $120.00 (...

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Herbivore Assessment Program Makes Vegans Feel Like Shit

Funny story: Herbivore Assessment Program Makes Vegans Feel Like Shit

Have you ever met one of those annoying, self-righteous vegans who obviously considers himself morally superior to all other humans on the planet? If so, you might be encouraged to learn that the recently established Herbivore Assessment & Rating Program (HARP) is working to take those self-important vegans down a notch - by assessing precisely how "vegan" they really are. In calculating a...

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Cream Wars - Clotted Cream Must Be Eaten in Cornwall and Not Taken Anywhere Else

Funny story: Cream Wars - Clotted Cream Must Be Eaten in Cornwall and Not Taken Anywhere Else

An escalation in the Devon vs. Cornwall clotted cream wars was yesterday sparked off by 'Cornwall's Prince Charles's' announcement that he had won the war without a shot being fired. The pleasant but sickly Cornish Clotted Cream - made by boilin...

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Ten Simple Ways To Lose Weight Guaranteed!

Funny story: Ten Simple Ways To Lose Weight Guaranteed!

These Top Ten Ways to lose weight are easy as falling off a log. (Guess I better take that one off). 1. Always sleep on a vibrating bed. 2. Go Over A Fence that has a warning sign, "Dozen Bulls Horny Here!" 3. Crap on your food. 4. Easiest Push-Ups! (Pushing Up Daisies) 5. Snack on salted packing peanuts! 6. When introducing yourself at 'Get Acquainted Singles Meet', "Hello, my n...

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Paleo Diet Is OUT! New "Socio Diet" Sweeps Nation

Funny story: Paleo Diet Is OUT! New "Socio Diet" Sweeps Nation

According to the latest buzz from health clubs and fitness gurus, the formerly wildly popular Paleo Diet has been supplanted by the new Sociopath or "Socio" Diet, which skyrockets meat-centric eating to new dimensions of amorality. Sources say the Socio Diet has particularly caught fire in high-power urban centers like New York City and Washington, D.C. Want to incorporate some "Socio" into you...

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Chris Christie Wages War on Anorexia

Funny story: Chris Christie Wages War on Anorexia

Some say that embattled New Jersey Governor has bitten off more than he can chew with his growing bridge scandal while some of his closest allies in Trenton have rallied around him and decided that he should go on the offensive by waging a war that h...

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Chris Christie Flip Flopping Like A Fish

Funny story: Chris Christie Flip Flopping Like A Fish

Atlas News say they got a sneak peak of a new video from the group against the possible presidential candidate and that it is coming out with the highlights. It shows Christie pledging support for in-state tuition for undocumented students at the...

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103rd Way to Die: McDonald's!

Funny story: 103rd Way to Die: McDonald's!

In Raleigh, North Carolina, Merab Morgan pulled off something astonishing by losing 37 pounds on a diet based solely on McDonald's food. She said, "I thought it's to the birds with one stone - to lose weight and prove a point for the little fat p...

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Wynonna Judd Desperate To Lose Weight States She's Going To Go On The Celery Diet

Funny story: Wynonna Judd Desperate To Lose Weight States She's Going To Go On The Celery Diet

NASHVILLE - Wynonna Judd was in Nashville working on her next album which is tentatively titled, Wynonna's New Album: Overweight And Proud To Boot. Judd said that the title of the album was her idea and not sister Ashley's like the supermarket tab...

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