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Funny satire stories about DNA

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Funny story: DNA Test Results Show That Donald J. Trump Has Four Biological Sons He Did Not Know He Had

DNA Test Results Show That Donald J. Trump Has Four Biological Sons He Did Not Know He Had

NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Daily Drama reporter Cinderella St. Lamb, has just broken the Trump story of the season! The highly-reputable DNA collecting firm, which is based in Kalamazoo, Michigan, Yep Dat Be Your Squigglies Alright, has confi…

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Funny story: DNA Tests Show That a Baltimore Bus Driver is Barron Trump’s Biological Father

DNA Tests Show That a Baltimore Bus Driver is Barron Trump’s Biological Father

BALTIMORE – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz has just uncovered a story that had been hidden from the entire country by the Trump family for 15 years. BuzzFuzz reporter Taffeta Kixx said that after following several leads, she has discovered that Donald J…

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Funny story: DNA Test Results Show That Matt Gaetz Is Most Probably Not The Illegitimate Son of Jeffrey Epstein

DNA Test Results Show That Matt Gaetz Is Most Probably Not The Illegitimate Son of Jeffrey Epstein

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz has just revealed that they have seen the recent DNA test results regarding Congressman Matt Gaetz, and they show that he is most probably not the illegitimate son of noted sexual predator Jeffrey Epstein.

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Funny story: QAnon's Marjorie Taylor Greene is Hated as Much as Ann Coulter, Donald Trump, and Mustafa Haliboo Combined

QAnon's Marjorie Taylor Greene is Hated as Much as Ann Coulter, Donald Trump, and Mustafa Haliboo Combined

DICKWEED, Mississippi – (Satire News) – Marjorie Taylor Greene self-proclaimed darling of the QAnon movement and human tampon, has just become even more hated than Ann Coulter, Donald Trump, and Al Qaeda leader Mustafa Haliboo. The sewer water blo…

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Funny story: President Trump's DNA Found In Kenya

President Trump's DNA Found In Kenya

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In what genealogy experts are calling the most baffling discovery in over 45 years of genealogical research, President Donald J. Trump’s DNA has been found in Kenya. The Washington Globe-Express reported that the amazing thing i…

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Funny story: Texas Warns That The Dreaded Chupacabra Could Be Carrying The Coronavirus

Texas Warns That The Dreaded Chupacabra Could Be Carrying The Coronavirus

AUSTIN – The Guild of Lone Star State Veterinarians has issued an emergency directive regarding the legendary folkloric creature known as La Chupacabra. The name Chupacabra literally means 'goat sucker', and the animal was first spotted in Texas i...

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Funny story: Ivanka Trump Walks Off Stephen Colbert's Late Night Talk Show

Ivanka Trump Walks Off Stephen Colbert's Late Night Talk Show

NEW YORK CITY – The nation’s first daughter, Ivanka Trump, appeared with Stephen Colbert on his late night talk show. She was introduced as President Trump’s oldest and most favorite daughter. Amazingly enough, out of the 200 audience members, onl...

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Funny story: Low-Budget Ancestry Analysis Links Ryan Adams and Bryan Adams as Half-Brothers

Low-Budget Ancestry Analysis Links Ryan Adams and Bryan Adams as Half-Brothers

Thanks to the miracles of modern-day ancestry analysis through specialty service www.BudgetBloodlines.web, musicians Bryan Adams of Canada, and Ryan Adams of the United States, were informed that they are half-brothers, related through their common f...

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Funny story: Girl Had Six Toes

Girl Had Six Toes

A teacher in a school in Bangkok had the fright of his life recently when, listening intently to what a girl standing by the side of his desk was saying, and looking downward so as to focus his concentration on her words, he became aware that she had...

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Funny story: Evangelicals Seize Moral High Ground by Rejecting Candidates who Overestimate DNA or Trespass in College

Evangelicals Seize Moral High Ground by Rejecting Candidates who Overestimate DNA or Trespass in College

Washington - Several months ago, members of the Evangelical Right movement pounced on Senator Elizabeth Warren for claiming Native American ancestry based on family stories rather than DNA testing, which was not available decades ago at the time of...

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Funny story: Scientists: Human ancestors and a guy named Dennis "mate with anything vaguely human"

Scientists: Human ancestors and a guy named Dennis "mate with anything vaguely human"

In the past ten years, a successful attempt to sequence the genome of Neanderthals revealed that most modern humans carry 2-4% Neanderthal DNA, indicating our human ancestors bred with their ancient cousins. Further scientific research into a fin...

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Funny story: Pocahontas: "I AM so, too, Native American; my mixed DNA sample proves it, so there!"

Pocahontas: "I AM so, too, Native American; my mixed DNA sample proves it, so there!"

Senator Eliza Beth “Pocahontas” Warpath swabbed one of her body cavities to obtain a DNA “smear,” which she submitted to a clandestine cloning service, the name of which she refused to identify. The results of the analysis of the DNA sample, she s...

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Funny story: 86 ft sea monster found on Brit beach has same DNA as Boris Johnson!

86 ft sea monster found on Brit beach has same DNA as Boris Johnson!

Scientists analysing huge, ancient bones, found on a Brit beach, have discovered something quite amazing! It seems the DNA in the bones, that belonged to a huge Jurassic sea monster, has the same DNA as the present UK foreign minister, BOJO! "Ther...

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Funny story: Feathered, flying dinosaur is genetically related to Theresa May!

Feathered, flying dinosaur is genetically related to Theresa May!

Chinese scientists researching a dinosaur egg have made an amazing discovery! Its DNA is the same as Theresa May's! The egg seems to be that of a feathered, flying dinosaur, that hovered, attacked and ruled over the planet millions of years ago. B...

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Funny story: DNA is a Secularist Conspiracy

DNA is a Secularist Conspiracy

The following is a partial reprint of a handbill given to me one Sunday morning as I stumbled to my pickup after a wild night partying in Athens, Ga, home of the University of Georgia. At issue was the recent DNA extracted from a 37,000 year old hum...

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Funny story: Mummy DNA Shows 3500 Years Old But Not Completely Human

Mummy DNA Shows 3500 Years Old But Not Completely Human

A very confused group of experts have been onto this for a month and still have no solution. "We have an Egyptian mummy, we think, brought here as usual to test the DNA so it could be dated and so we did", stated a DNA Expert in Tucson, Arizona. "...

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Funny story: John Lennon To Be Cloned?

John Lennon To Be Cloned?

A Canadian dentist has plans to clone the late Beatle, John Lennon after purchasing his tooth a couple of years ago for over $30,000. This was revealed recently during an episode of Dead Famous DNA on Channel 4 in England. Canadian dentist Dr.

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