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Old-Testament God Creates 11th Commandment: “Thou Shalt Not Engage in Victim Blaming, You Sadistic Morons”

WASHINGTON D.C. - Emerging from the heavens amidst a flurry of lightning and ferocious winds, the Old-Testament God, commonly known as Yahweh, descended upon the United States Congress. “I am the Lord thy God,” Yahweh bellowed, shaking the ground...

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"999 What's Your Emer...Ah Fuck It"

A shocking new report has found that over one million crimes a year aren’t even investigated by the police. To people who enjoy stealing cheap bottles of cider, this is great news! But, for those of us who expect our law enforcement to do a semi comp...

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Gruesome Murder Reconstruction Ends In Gruesome Murder

Funny story: Gruesome Murder Reconstruction Ends In Gruesome Murder

Police supervising a TV documentary murder reconstruction of an unsolved slaying that happened 20 years ago, have egg on their faces this evening, after a second murder took place in exactly the same manner as the first one. In Epsom, back in 199...

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Parents In Call For Naughtiness To Be Criminalized

Funny story: Parents In Call For Naughtiness To Be Criminalized

Parents have reacted angrily to calls for a ban on smacking children in the home, by demanding that children be banned from acting naughtily, it has been reported. The Association of Educational Psychologists (AEP) has called for physical punishme...

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Mind Reader Told Crowd What They Were Thinking

Funny story: Mind Reader Told Crowd What They Were Thinking

In a case that is sure to have the science world unravelling, a man who claimed that he could 'read people's minds', and tell them exactly what they were thinking about, did just that. The man made the astonishing claim in front of a large crowd o...

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Shoplifting Now UK's Fastest-growing Industry

Funny story: Shoplifting Now UK's Fastest-growing Industry

There was brighter news for industry today, when it was announced that, despite poor performances in nearly all the UK's industry sectors, there was one major area of growth - shoplifting. Whilst energy, manufacturing, the services sector, financi...

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Local Pie Thief located, killed in violent shootout

After weeks of investigation local man Lawerance Oddert, father of three, was killed in a violent shootout with police after stealing a pie that was cooling on old Miss Tennanbaums window sill. The police first started suspecting Oddert when he refus...

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Manchester Woman Reporting Murder Was Given 'Police Crime Number'

Funny story: Manchester Woman Reporting Murder Was Given 'Police Crime Number'

A woman who reported what turned out to be a violent murder to police, was told by a switchboard operator that there were no officers available to attend to her 'situation', whereupon she was given a 'crime number'. The woman, who wishes to remain...

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Police Crackdown on Scooter Crime Angers Mums

Funny story: Police Crackdown on Scooter Crime Angers Mums

"Leave him alone, he's just a kid" screamed Clarissa de Pfeiffel-Johnson as her ten year old son Boris (no relation) was led into a police van in handcuffs. His crime was to be caught using a stolen scooter to carry out muggings on unsuspecting Londo...

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Little Girl's Bike Stolen From Outside House

Funny story: Little Girl's Bike Stolen From Outside House

There was trouble with a capital 'T' in Tapon this morning when it was discovered that a bicycle belonging to the daughter of a writer at satirical news website TheSpoof.com had been stolen. Delma Kenwood, 3, daughter of Moys Kenwood, loved that f...

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Carnivor Cruise Line to feature cannibalism on the high seas

Funny story: Carnivor Cruise Line to feature cannibalism on the high seas

Miami, FL - A new reality TV series will launch this fall documenting the adventures of vacationers braving voyages on the new Carnivor Cruise Line, producer Annibalcay Rossgay told us when we asked him what’s new. Vacationers sign a waiver that t...

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More gender controversy for Labour

Jeremy Corbyn's Labour party has again provoked controversy by suggesting more "women only" places in the interests of safety. Hot on the heels of the "Women only train carriages" controversy suggesting that all men are potential sex pests and wom...

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Dead to rights - Busted, disgusted and not to be trusted!

Funny story: Dead to rights - Busted, disgusted and not to be trusted!

Among other things, I write detective mystery novels and crime thrillers so I watch a lot of true-crime series. Usually, it's a late-night thing for me and this is how I relax and unwind. After watching one or two of the likes of "Wives with Knives",...

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Town of 'Nice' Has Unusual Crime Spree

Funny story: Town of 'Nice' Has Unusual Crime Spree

Amanda Jenkins had quite surprise. Her purse was missing. But some stranger returned her purse with much more money than she had before, and even recharged her phone and replaced the broken compact she carried. "I was worried someone had stolen my pu...

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Mark Twain Returns To Earth, Says Whites "Drug Addicted Rapists"

Funny story: Mark Twain Returns To Earth, Says Whites "Drug Addicted Rapists"

Mark Twain befriended figures such as Harriet Beecher Stowe and Frederick Douglass, wrote that slavery dehumanizes both the slave and slaveowner, and wrote a series of articles protesting discrimination against Chinese immigrants and exposing police...

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"Broad Daylight" robberies explained

Funny story: "Broad Daylight" robberies explained

FBI's senior special investigator, Horace Deluca in a recent press conference, explained why so many daytime robberies are committed in "broad daylight". "A thief," said Mr. Deluca, "is just like anybody else. A nice sunny day with a blue sk...

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Gary Glitter accused of "possessing Gary Glitter records"

Shamed entertainer and glam rock star Gary Glitter faces new charges at London's Old Bailey today accused of possessing Gary Glitter records and conspiracy to record a new album. Mr. Glitter, which I suspect may be a stage name, is understood to...

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All crime ceases as Trump becomes president

Funny story: All crime ceases as Trump becomes president

*DISCLAIMER* All names of people and organisations contained herein, barring Mr Trump, are works of fiction and any resemblance to any real figure is purely coincidental WASHINGTON, D.C., January 21st, 2017 - BREAKING: Since President Donald Trump...

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Breaking news…

Trump Said News Media The Enemy

Trump said the news media was the enemy of the people. Saudi newsman Jamal Khashoggi was critical of the Saudi government, then goes missing in the Saudi Embassy in Turkey? Looks like a green light.
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