A clothing shop belonging to Ronald Limp-Ball was ransacked as chaos engulfed the Emerald City on Saturday night, and the Wizard of Oz was nowhere to be found. Mr. Limp-Ball was shocked to hear that the looters were in fact un-aborted, foster ding…
Although they will probably face a bit of a thrashing at the local elections in May, the Conservative party have revealed that they are not really that worried. Conservative candidate Michael Madeup said 'After the mess we have made of things for…
Like in the movie 'Rocky' - Liz could have been a 'Contender' if not for her incompetence and Liberal enemies. The Conservatives now have a new brain in dishy Rishi. But it is a warped brain, believing that no taxes on the rich and corporat…
Here in Britain, people will no longer be allowed to protest anything. The price of this and that going up – so what, take it, accept it, but thou shalt not protest. To protest the anti-protest law is illegal. (Now if that’s not straight outa Orwe…
People throughout the UK are praying that it doesn't rain, as someone has fed the conservatives after midnight. Following the warnings of the light-hearted Christmas family romp, Gremlins the three rules are said to be in force. 1) Don't Feed t…
UK Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng's first quasi-budget was announced today to cheers and celebration across the country. With the astute administrative skills of King Herod, he chancelled like he had never chancelled before and slashed taxes for the rich,…
Although she has been in position for less than 48 hours, and shook the Queen by the wrong hand, before treading on a corgi, and sitting in the wrong chair, Prime Minister Liz Truss is preparing herself for a bit of skulduggery in the houses of parli…
An unpleasant bloke in the pub says that Rishi lost because Conservative voters only voted for the lady in the poll, forgets about Penny Mordant coming third, and the other two who ran. The chap, who wishes to remain anonymous, but is probably sit…
Bachelor and lifelong conservative voter Brian Asshat has told his three followers on Twitter that he only voted for Liz Truss for the laugh. 'Yes, I only voted for her the laugh. I thought no one would vote for her, not when Rishi was in contenti…
Prime Minister Johnson is on his way out. The booze-stained corridors of Downing Street will soon no longer hear his trotters rattling along, or his coke-fuelled straw-headed blathering. After he has scuttled off into a cosy life of luxury and delusi…
With the not unexpected demise of ‘Boris the Buffoon’ at the hands of the finest ‘Assassination Bureau’ this side of the black stump we are witnessing an unprecedented stampede of Tory wannabe’s all gagging for their few months of fame as a Prime Min…
Tory home secretary Mrs Priti Patel has had to delay her nomination for leadership of the party following industrial action by some members of her staff. Those staff, who appear to be Winged Monkeys, state through their spokesman that they have ne…
Expectations that disgraced Prime Minister Boris Johnson will be out of office within a few weeks were dashed as several hundred Tory MPs declared their intention to stand for the leadership contest. The list includes many MPs that the public has nev…
As the zipper of time descends on its endless journey, the trousers of fate begin to loosen. Boris Johnson has discovered that the underpants of history, which he had only just begun to fill, are now soiled with the memory of his shitness for all tim…
Today's Queen's speech was delivered to Parliament by Queen Charles. In it she laid out the government's policies for the next year. Top of the list was the Conservatives' plan to help solve the cost of living crisis. In the last year inflation ha…
Brian Asshat, grammar nazi, and thrower of shoes has said, to no-ones great surprise, that he will be giving the Conservatives one last go. Near neighbour, Gary Johnson said 'Over Lockdown I got to know Brian a bit, I mean I was always throwing hi…
For years it has been a vague Tory promise to level the North, promoted endlessly by the PM as a hopeful slogan. This week the detailed plans have finally been published in a fifty page report, and Northerners are unlikely to be pleased. It explai…
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