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Boris Johnson Truth Serum Reaches Dover

Funny story: Boris Johnson Truth Serum Reaches Dover

Police have issued a warning to motorists that long delays are likely for anyone using the Dover ferry terminal over the weekend, due to a large consignment of truth serum coming through the port for use by Conservative MP Boris Johnson. Alexander...

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Boris Johnson: "I'm a world class quitter"

Funny story: Boris Johnson: "I'm a world class quitter"

Straw-haired buffoon Boris Johnson has resigned from his job as UK Foreign Secretary, in protest at Brexit plans that he believes are "not outy enough". He bragged that although he achieved "bugger all" during his two years in the high-profile gov...

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Philip May reveals sitcom-like lifestyle

Philip May, first husband of the UK, has revealed details about his life in 10 Downing Street to men's lifestyle magazine Jockstrap. In the interview, he describes his life being married to Theresa May as "like being a hapless accident-prone characte...

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Amber Rudd To Be Given 'Cushy Job'

Funny story: Amber Rudd To Be Given 'Cushy Job'

Amber Rudd, the former Conservative Party Home Secretary who resigned her post earlier this week due to her involvement in the Windrush Scandal, is to be found a nice, cushy job once all the silly 'fuss and nonsense' over Windrush has died down. R...

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Go Home Call Explained

The call of a Conservative Government for immigrants to Go Home has been clarified by Conservative Central Office. As a Public schoolboy I was given prior notice of the announcemnet before the resat of you because I know what's what and am a man o...

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Food Banks Poverty Wank

Conservative MP, Tobias Strom, today blasted the use of food banks up and down the country. Talking to forty other like minded cock ends he said: There is a growing epidemic in this country and I'm not talking about poor people! This got the ex...

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Why are conservatives so evil?

Funny story: Why are conservatives so evil?

It is a simple enough question - why are conservatives so callous and indifferent to the suffering of their fellow humans? They always want to cut taxes, which helps their rich friends and punishes the poor and needy? Now finally, a historian may have uncovered the answer. Professor Geoff History of the University of Oxford has revealed that conservatives are actually not human at all. They arr...

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Harvey Weinstein moves to Alabama and immediately sets up gubernatorial election campaign

In preparation for the 2018 election, former movie mogul Harvey Weinstein moved his personal residence to Alabama and expressed keen interest in becoming the state's next Governor. The move surprised many, as Weinstein never showed much interest in...

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Conservative Party "ran out of human MPs years ago"

Funny story: Conservative Party "ran out of human MPs years ago"

An anonymous worker at Conservative Party HQ has admitted that there hasn't been a human Tory MP since 2001 when Lord Cockles died with an orange up his arse. Since then all Conservative politicians have been either reanimated corpses, robots, or Fra...

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Survey reveals Brexiters wishes

Funny story: Survey reveals Brexiters wishes

It is now over a year since Britain voted to leave the EU, and as expected the government is making a complete pig's arse of the situation. Then again, one of Britain's biggest export industries (which is expected to do well after Brexit) is making e...

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Gideon Strikes Back!

George Osborne has called Teresa may "a dead woman walking" after her election cock up. Unsurprisingly coming from the mouth of a man who we believe has been dead for some time and merely jumps his consciousness into recently deceased bodies. Look in...

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The Huntsman Commeth

Funny story: The Huntsman Commeth

The election has happened and the predicted destruction of Labour at the polls didn't happen. Which along with our all clear STI test last week was the best news we've had all year. Jeremy Corbyn looks more like a leader than ever and May will now tr...

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Dr Delight on the GP election lowdown

More than likely the Tories will win the election but that's OK as long as they fulfil their promises. We want to see the work houses brought back, the vote taken away from anyone earning less the £80K and the entire Empire absorbed into our Union Ja...

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General Election Watch

In the run up to the General Election the media have moved away from trying to see if Jeremy Corbyn has eaten a baby and actually asked a question or two about the Conservatives "Social Care Plan". Back and to the Left news investigates. Well we'r...

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Conservative party abandons "strange and stabby" label

Funny story: Conservative party abandons "strange and stabby" label

For weeks, Theresa May has been promising that the Tory party is the only party that is "strange and stabby" enough to lead the country. But now, with the release of the party manifesto, all that is set to change, and they have a new slogan. "Fuck...

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Political correctness "biggest threat to humanity since the dinosaurs"

Funny story: Political correctness "biggest threat to humanity since the dinosaurs"

A survey among conservative bloggers has found that a majority of them believe political correctness is currently the greatest threat to humanity, ahead of terrorism, climate change, poverty, or a giant asteroid strike. Right wing website owner Pe...

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NHS Bless This Mess

The PM, Teresa May, emerged from her fortress of darkness to press upon the huddled masses that the NHS was not on the verge of a humanitarian crisis. The sky cracked with lightning and thunder rolled through the scene creating a atmosphere of malevo...

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Tory Slogan Shock

Funny story: Tory Slogan Shock

The Tory Conference slogan suggesting that the Tories are working for a country that 'Works for Everyone' has been adapted for different audiences in the UK. In more affluent areas the adaptation includes after the words 'Works for Everyone who ha...

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Breaking news…

Putin Hacked The Emmys

NBC, ABC, and CBS all claim that Russian President Putin hacked the Emmy Award computers, to explain how unknown, barely-viewed shows on Netflix and HBO could win so many awards.
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