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Funny story: CDC issues nationwide Zombie Apocalypse Alter on spread of TDS

CDC issues nationwide Zombie Apocalypse Alter on spread of TDS

Washington, DC - On Friday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued a nationwide Zombie Apocalypse Alter on the spread of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS). Back on May 16, 2011, the CDC offered guidance to Americans by publishing...

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Funny story: Nappy-Headed Nubians Sighted In Halls Of Congress

Nappy-Headed Nubians Sighted In Halls Of Congress

BILLINGSGATE POST: It is Spring In Washington. With the cherry blossoms abloom and new faces in Congress, hopes of change rise and fall with the passing of each day. In a rare confluence of whim and destiny, Washingtonians are atwitter over the si...

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Funny story: Grown Men Who Put Up "Liar Liar Pants on Fire" Poster in Congress Say Ocasio-Cortez is Crazy

Grown Men Who Put Up "Liar Liar Pants on Fire" Poster in Congress Say Ocasio-Cortez is Crazy

Washington - At a recent Congressional hearing, Republican Paul Gosar, who once said that climate change isn't real because of "photosynthesis", watched in horror as Congresswoman Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez asked former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen pertin...

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Funny story: Nation Within Range of Unhinged Lunatic’s Nukes Says it's “Pretty Sure Trump Paid Porn Star”

Nation Within Range of Unhinged Lunatic’s Nukes Says it's “Pretty Sure Trump Paid Porn Star”

Washington - An entire country, under immediate danger from a completely deranged madman with an arsenal of nuclear missiles capable of taking out tens of millions of people, found itself glued to the television set as Michael Cohen, former lawyer an...

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Funny story: Mexican Drug Cartels Designated as Health Care Providers

Mexican Drug Cartels Designated as Health Care Providers

WASHINGTON DC - Now that the Democrat-controlled US Congress has passed a "Budget", Mexican Drug Cartels may be able to provide "Health Care Services" without fear of criminal charges and time in prison. With the support of many, many lobbyists and p...

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Funny story: Synod Takes Vote - It's Thumbs Down

Synod Takes Vote - It's Thumbs Down

Plebes, Prudes, and Pimps Take Plebescite WIRED STREET JOURNAL REPORTER: KR SCHWARTZ DATELINE: Washington D.C. January 24th, 2019 (a day that will live in infamy) In a paean to impotence, the United States Senate voted on two separate bil...

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Funny story: Trump Proposes Again

Trump Proposes Again

Tuesday, President Trump and Republican Senate Majority Leader, Bitch McConnell offered a compromise to Democrats to end the five-week-old government “partial” shutdown. It is referred to as a partial shutdown because employees at the White House, Ai...

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Funny story: Aliens Give Congress Tips on How To Conduct Russian Probe

Aliens Give Congress Tips on How To Conduct Russian Probe

The Extra Terrestrials, who have been observing the goings on in Washington with great interest, couldn't hold their tongues any longer. The mother ship landed on the capitol lawn, and a group of beings with large bald grey heads spoke through tel...

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Funny story: Fearing Political Tsunami in November, Republicans Adopt New Approaches

Fearing Political Tsunami in November, Republicans Adopt New Approaches

THE WIRED STREET URINAL REPORTER KR Schwartz DATELINE: September 27th 2018 Washington, D.C. Fearing Political Tsunami in November, Republicans Adopt New Approaches Feeling the mounting political pressure from constituents over the Senate Judi...

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Funny story: Senator Who Identifies with 25th Amendment, Native Americans, LGBTQ, and Nanny Pelosi, Says President Is "Loony"

Senator Who Identifies with 25th Amendment, Native Americans, LGBTQ, and Nanny Pelosi, Says President Is "Loony"

WASH, AC/DC—Senator Eliza Beth War On wants to invoke the US Constitution's 25th Amendment, which allows Congress to remove the president if he (or she—not that there's ever been a “she” in the office, unless either Eleanor Roosevelt or Barack Obama...

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Funny story: John McCain's Final Gift to GOP Free 3-D Spines

John McCain's Final Gift to GOP Free 3-D Spines

Before John McCain became too ill for much physical activity he had a 3-D image of his spine created that could then be duplicated with 3-D printers, using medical plastics accepted by the human body. John McCain's deal? He will allow any of the spin...

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Funny story: Congress Votes To Raise Own Pay 35%

Congress Votes To Raise Own Pay 35%

In a unanimous decision that leaders were quick to praise for its stunning lack of partisanship, the United States Congress decided to raise its own pay to a whopping 980,000 dollars a year, an increase of 300%, citing the 2 percent rise in the cost...

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Funny story: Eloon Musk Set To Send 1 Million Dairy Cows To Mars To Re-establish Atmosphere On The Red Planet

Eloon Musk Set To Send 1 Million Dairy Cows To Mars To Re-establish Atmosphere On The Red Planet

Eloon Musk today purchased several thousand head of Jersey dairy cattle, some yet to be born, with the promise to breed up to 6 million to send a constant stream of the bovines to the planet surface of Mars. Each cow would be equipped with its own...

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Funny story: "Planet B" a mercurial Macron masterpiece has put US congress in 'check mate!" Qui, qui..

"Planet B" a mercurial Macron masterpiece has put US congress in 'check mate!" Qui, qui..

It has taken a French master of ze simple philosophical school to come up 'trumps' in Trump's own backgarden and deliver in one slick word what Americans find hard to accept... French philosophy, rather outdated, has arisen from ze ashes to confou...

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Funny story: The Saga of Mark Zuckerberg and the Booster Cushion

The Saga of Mark Zuckerberg and the Booster Cushion

During his Congressional testimony, Zuckerberg was perched on a booster cushion to, well, give him a boost. In the long hours of testimony he became very attached to the booster cushion, so much so that when his testimony was over, he refused to s...

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Funny story: Mark Zuckerberg Testifies to Congress that He Has No Real Friends Other than Facebook Friends

Mark Zuckerberg Testifies to Congress that He Has No Real Friends Other than Facebook Friends

In an uncomfortable and often highly contentious session with Congress this past week, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg finally admitted that he has no real friends, other than his “friends” on the social media site that he founded. “Honestly, it's wh...

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Funny story: God Takes Over US Congress

God Takes Over US Congress

God the almighty made an appearance at the US Senate and immediately smited the two senators from Florida claiming it was simply because they were from the state of Florida. God told the assembly that “they better get their shit together and work...

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