Scientists living in the jungles of Paraguay have played god after they found the lost Hitler’s moustache! That’s right, the bullet Hitler put into his brain in the bunker – sure, it hit his head, but the moustache survived! And now it’s back –…
A genetic research group that enjoys playing god wants to bring back the dodo. And maybe some dinosaurs. And maybe Abe Lincoln. And maybe Donald Trump (he died, right? He didn’t? Oh, sorry, wrong news source.) A spokesperson named Shecky (not sure…
For the past few years a strange construction project has been going on in the interior of Antarctica. Now, a whistleblower has escaped the frozen continent to reveal the horrifying truth! Deep beneath the pack ice, an immense cryogenic vault h…
Elvis Presley’s final peanut butter and banana sandwich has been found and will soon be up for auction at Sotheby’s. The sandwich is in mint condition since it was, for some reason, stored in a forgotten fridge in the basement of Graceland. The sandw…
MANCHESTER - A chicken with 17 wings is more of an agricultural asset than a chicken with only two wings. No Jessica Simpson, Buffalo wings don't come from buffalos, they come from chickens and ravenous Americans can't seem to get enough of them.
LONDON A spokesman for the royal family announced today that a clone of the newborn prince would be born to a surrogate mother within a few weeks. The delay, he said, was necessary because it was only possible to draw a DNA sample from Kate's amnio...
FLAGSTAFF, Arizona - The Dry Heat Scientific Research Center located in Flagstaff announced on March 28, that it had just successfully cloned the first skunk in the history of civilized cloning. Dr. Holland Hildegarde Taffytree, 58, director of th...
Victoria Beckham, wife of David Beckham and thankfully ex-Spice Girl, had admitted that she wishes to have up to four new legs surgically attached to her hips. "I'll be starting with just two new legs," she said in an interview with the postman. "...
Former president Bill Clinton was contacted by Chinese officials from the People's Academy of Science with an offer to provide a clone of himself for use as a replacement body. "The clone is an exact duplicate of Mr. Clinton, currently 28 years old a...
A Pentagon whistle-blower has revealed that the government are planning to clone alien life forms, using DNA samples from three dead aliens recovered from Roswell in 1946 and cryogenically preserved for decades. The whistle-blower explained that c...
Simon Cowell has been cloned by X-Factor bosses as they desperately need him in two places at once. An inside source said "Cowell has been asked to judge the UK X-Factor by satellite link and there is a 50% chance that he will refuse." The televi...
Following a decision by the European Commission milk and meat from the offspring of cloned animals will be allowed to enter the food chain and is expected to be on the shelves of supermarkets by the end of summer. A major concern, that the genera...
In Pyong Yang, North Korea today the first pictures were released of the results from the Kim Jung Il cloning project. Twenty years ago, geneticists took cells from Kim's (a.k.a. Dear Leader) foreskin which contained undifferentiated peripheral stem...
There isn't just David and Ed you know, as well as Glen, reports are coming in from all over the place that Miliband looky likeys are popping up quicker than you can say something that is quick and easy to say and rolls of the tongue with alacrity, l...
(North Korea) The Pyongyang Maternity Hospital's regeneration clinic promises to regrow human organs. "It began with culturing skin grafts for women who wanted to hide stretch marks from child birth," said the hospital's spokeswoman. "And today we...
After the furor over cloned meat entering the food chain in the United Kingdom, the Food Standards Agency has come under extra pressure with the revelation that cloned Tofu has also been found in supermarkets. Tofu, which is essentially made by co...
More revelations are emerging from Britain's farming community of cloned animals and milk entering the food chain. A farmer in the North of England told me: 'It is perfectly safe to eat cloned animals and the offspring of these animals. The Food S...
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