PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA - The world famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, made his annual appearance today, kind of saw his shadow, and proclaimed to America that there will be six more weeks of climate change. We spoke to Phil about his celebrity status and the pressure of accurately predicting the weather to hundreds of millions each year: Good morning, Phil. How's it going? "Oh hey, welcome to my...
Global warming "heretics" have today announced that: THE AVERAGE TEMPERATURE HAS STOPPED RISING Since 1998 - more than a decade - the record, as determined by observations from satellites and balloon radiosondes, shows no discernible warming. Heretics who print or repeat these findings are to be burned at the stake on the next market day. The year 1998 was exceptionally warm because of a...
Leading climatologists in Denmark say that the past long cold winter is yet another sign of global warming. Sigge Ennes from the University of Copenhagen says that the trend is now irreversible. "Higher levels of CO2 in the atmosphere from mankind bu...
Beaver Bay, OR (Car Seller's Weekly) - According to Earl Whitcomb, life-long resident of Beaver Bay, climate change is real. But it isn't caused by green-house gases or the use of fossil fuels. It is caused, asserts Whitcomb, by liberals and Communis...
Speaking of extremely frigid temperatures this winter and early spring, in certain parts of the U.S., Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) said, "It's cold. Al Gore told me this wouldn't Happen. Global warming obviously is a farce." Senator Cruz said this to...
Gay marriage and gay rights are causing the wild weather including droughts in California and snow storms in the South, scientists at the Christian Creationists and Scholars Institute have discovered. "Our three year study of weather patterns and...
In an important publication recently released, it states that an international research expedition to the Southern Ocean has confirmed that if it were left alone, the global climate would be naturally heading towards another ice age. "We're headed...
Besides flooding the current climate talks in Poland with logos and lobbyists, representatives of corporate polluters from across the globe met recently for a special celebration. These CEO's also happen to be on the list of a recent study showing...
Washington DC: The Democratic National Committee (DNC) has investigated the events leading up to President Obama's victory in the 2008 US presidential election. The DNC is interested in how to repeat this victory in the 2012 US presidential election.
The planet was on the brink of survival in Durban as delegates sat up all night before coming to a compromise. They agreed to go to sleep and UN Ambassador to the conference praised the delegates for sticking to their guns until the last moment.
Economists are turning to cosmologists to keep track of inflation, it is rising that fast. "It's going up so quickly," said Esme Duvet, economist for the London School of Economics Economy Department, "that we've been told that future economists w...
WASHINGTON, D.C.--Times are tough, according to a report today. With 15.1% of the U.S. population now living in poverty, homelessness is becoming an option for more people. More and more people can't pay the rent with low-paying jobs. The car's be...
Washington DC: Supporters of alternative energy lobby group Americans For Long Term Renewable Energy have flocked to the nation's capital this week, calling on congress to introduce legislation limiting America's reliance on the sun. The group's s...
In what has been described as "an historic breakthrough", a new scientific study has revealed that the Irish people are the descendants of an ancient race of exploring Polar Bears, who were the first species to cultivate the potato. The study - wh...
A controversial climate scientist has invoked the wrath of the Global Warming Zealots' everywhere by claiming Global Warming is impossible. Professor Clem T Dennier, of the McKeith Institute for Complimentary Science, claims his "new research" will "...
"They're taking the bread out of our mouths!" says Spoof journalist Pullmi Legg, founder of the Writers, Anecdotalists, Naysayers, Kick-arsers, Egocentrics and Recidivists Society (WANKERS). He's issued the following statement about his reasons for giving up writing for Spoof. "For years we've been taking the piss out of these myopic truth-benders and their exaggerated alarmist claims, but late...
East Anglia (AP) - In the wake of retreating sea ice and glaciers on earth, IPCC scientists at East Anglia now report that the solar ice cap has nearly disappeared and may be completely gone by 2035. The effect of the loss of the solar ice cap is ex...
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