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Funny satire stories about Chinese Food

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Russians poisoning Russians in the UK! And now the Chinese are doing it with their takeaways!

Funny story: Russians poisoning Russians in the UK! And now the Chinese are doing it with their takeaways!

If Russia, seemingly behind poisonous attacks in the UK, wasn't bad enough! No, the Chinese are also rattling their sabres (not cyber ones) on the Green Island by stuffing their takeaways with deadly salt and sugar! Chinese takeaway lovers who pur...

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Chinese pot noodles hit by pizza tsunami!

Funny story: Chinese pot noodles hit by pizza tsunami!

The basic diet of billions of Chinese is being swept from under their bare feet by an 'Italian tsunami' causing a 'Domino' effect on the nutritional foundations of the most populated country on the planet! Chinese pot noodles, eaten by the rich, t...

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Hershey's Kisses Sold in China Include Fortunes

Funny story: Hershey's Kisses Sold in China Include Fortunes

Beijing, China - Americans love their fortune cookies and consume nearly three billion fortune cookies each year. Americans who eat at Chinese restaurants typically read their fortunes aloud at the end of their meals. But citizens of China have n...

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Pandas Removed from Endangered List and Placed on Menu

Funny story: Pandas Removed from Endangered List and Placed on Menu

With all the new cuddly pandas springing up in zoos and in the wild, people are wondering what they taste like. So at the Duon Gevafuk restaurant in Mainland China, they have begun conjuring recipes and sauces to commemorate this special occasion.

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With Two You Get Egg Roll

Funny story: With Two You Get Egg Roll

JAMESTOWN - If New York property owners complain about a water chestnut problem, they are not talking about Chinese takeout. The European water chestnut, an invasive aquatic plant is not the same as the water chestnut which can be purchased in can...

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Torture, the Chinese secret police way

There I was minding my own business, visiting at the Museum of the Peoples Republic, and while I was looking over a pair of rare FooManChu chop sticks, I was grabbed from and anesthetized by a whiff of Olong Tea. I awoke, groggy, my hands tied, my...

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Chinese Takeaway Plastic Spoon Manufacturer Issues Profit Warning As People Use Own Spoons

Funny story: Chinese Takeaway Plastic Spoon Manufacturer Issues Profit Warning As People Use Own Spoons

The Rise in popularity of Chinese Takeaway home deliveries where people use their own spoons to eat Chinese food with has caused PorkSpork, the global plastic takeaway spoon manufacturer to issue a profit warning. C.E.O. Mr. Ying Tong Diddle I. P...

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Jade Rabbit Chinese Food Rover delivers wrong order to secret NASA Moon Base

Funny story: Jade Rabbit Chinese Food Rover delivers wrong order to secret NASA Moon Base

The expensive Chinese Food Delivery Rover, Jade Rabbit has mixed up its very first delivery order. A top secret Moon Base which has been built by the U.S.A was due to receive a very welcome "Chinese Special Meal for 100 this morning. I repeated t...

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Britain's PM Cameron Brokers New China Deal - Delivery charges dropped on orders within 20 mile radius

Funny story: Britain's PM Cameron Brokers New China Deal - Delivery charges dropped on orders within 20 mile radius

Prime Minister David Cameron has accidentally negotiated a super deal with China on free delivery of takeaway special meals for two within 20 miles. China has agreed to use its influence on British Chinese food takeaway outlets in a major concession...

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Cannibal Cop's Arrest Prompts Bloomberg To Limit Human Flesh Portions

Funny story: Cannibal Cop's Arrest Prompts Bloomberg To Limit Human Flesh Portions

New York - Mayor Michael Bloomberg made the Big Apple less appetizing to the city's cannibal community today, introducing a new Health Department regulation that limits flesh eating to "one pound per person per day." The restriction came on the he...

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A Bonny Embryo Marinade

Funny story: A Bonny Embryo Marinade

Nutely, NJ - Today a new recipe for mangled embryo is sweeping the nation. According to cooking legend, Marda Stewfart, the dish has both the most exquisite taste and presentation of any known to man. According to Stewfart, this dish was invente...

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Paris Hilton's Startling Announcement: "I Am Giving Up Sex"

Funny story: Paris Hilton's Startling Announcement: "I Am Giving Up Sex"

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Paris Hilton has made a startling confession to one of her very best friends Christina Aguilera. The two were recently having lunch at The Fiery Tongue of The Dragon Chinese Restaurant in West Hollywood when Paris suddenly became...

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The Question That Mitt Romney Went Positively Ballistic Over

Funny story: The Question That Mitt Romney Went Positively Ballistic Over

DEVIL'S LAKE, North Dakota - Mitt Romney's The Mormon Master Bus Tour pulled into Devil's Lake where Romney met with about 17 supporters at The Lips of The Dastardly Dragon Chinese Restaurant. Romney, bought egg rolls and orders of Crab Rangoon fo...

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Lack of Pussy Blamed for Shut Down of Chinese Takeaway & Tragic Death!

Funny story: Lack of Pussy Blamed for Shut Down of Chinese Takeaway & Tragic Death!

Health Department Inspectors closed down a downtown London Chinese Takeaway after a recent inspection showed a complete disregard for the most modicum of prudent food handling. The report cited rampant mice droppings, dead mice on the floor, congea...

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Kim Kardashian and Ray J in 'Fill my Retarded Meathole, C-List Rap Artist': "Two Penises Up" Says Roger Ebert.

Funny story: Kim Kardashian and Ray J in 'Fill my Retarded Meathole, C-List Rap Artist': "Two Penises Up" Says Roger Ebert.

Kim Kardashian and Ray J in 'Fill my Retarded Meathole, C-List Rap Artist': "Two Penises Up" Says Roger Ebert. (Not his, of course, but...) While Kim Kardashian's sex tape (with whom we assume is her gardener) is getting rave reviews from horndo...

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Aliens Keep Calling Earth For Chinese Take-away

Funny story: Aliens Keep Calling Earth For Chinese Take-away

Berkeley, CA. - As if their task wasn't difficult enough, technicians associated with the SETI Project are now being constantly bombarded by messages from aliens looking for Chinese Take away. "Our purpose is to look for intelligent life in outer...

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Jackie Chan Opens Up His First Chinese Restaurant - The Sock & Roll Chinese Diner

Funny story: Jackie Chan Opens Up His First Chinese Restaurant - The Sock & Roll Chinese Diner

VENICE BEACH - Jackie Chan, who is considered one of the greatest martial arts stuntmen of all time, has announced that he has gotten into the restaurant business. Chan said that after talking to his dear friend the recently-divorced Eva Longoria,...

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Forget Montezuma's Revenge, Experts Say Leftover Chinese Food Causes The Most Diarrhea

Funny story: Forget Montezuma's Revenge, Experts Say Leftover Chinese Food Causes The Most Diarrhea

Health experts have determined that Mexican food and "the water" (don't drink it) are not the leading causes of diarrhea among adults. The main reason for Montezuma's Revenge (a.k.a. the Hershey squirts, runny rear, etc.) is actually leftover Ch...

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Breaking news…

Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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