BUSINESS tycoon, Mitch Branston, says there was a misunderstanding over reports he offered his exotic Caribbean retreat, Small Pecker Island, as collateral in exchange for a government loan. Reports suggested he was offering the nature haven which...
"Someone's fallen overboard from that tanker, Fred. I can see 'is 'ead bobbin' up n dahn in the sea way out there." "Yeah, likely story. Must av slipped off the deck 'cause ov all the oil on it I s'pose." "Straight up Fred, I aint jokin'. I'm tellin' yer there's someone out there in the water. Poor bloke, (SHOUTS OUT TO SEA) 'ANG ON MATE, I'VE SEEN YER. 'ELPS ON THE WAY MATE." "Well if th...
"No I bloody aint ad enuff. We've only bin sittin' 'ere fer five minutes. I wanna take in the view prop'ly, get some ov this ozone inside me lungs." "Ron, I'm COLD.... and the rain's comin' dahn 'eavier now." "Dive in me bag there, there's a little umbrella in there yer can use." "I'll fly off like Mary Poppins if I try openin' umbrella in this wind. Water gets in through the stitches wi...
(SETTING: Ron and Fred are on a day trip to Canvey Island, Essex, UK. They're sitting on the sea wall along the esplanade looking out to - a very rough - sea. Very windy, Ron is taking some deep breaths of 'sea breeze' into his lungs.) - After inhaling two deep long breaths Ron says to Fred who is sitting next to him on the sea wall, "Yer don't find that anywhere else Fred. They av sea bre...
We've had Small Pox, We've had Bird Flu, We've had Swine Flu, but a new Sexually Transmitted Infection threatens to wipe those infections off the map,and may spell the end for mankind as we know it. Rosea Pelmetum Explodum or Canvey Rose as it has...
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