Heather Mills, who told Paralympics official Sylvana Mestre "you don't know who I am, I will make your life miserable," just bought the mortgage company that holds the mortgage on Mestre's house and evicted her using alimony money from Paul McCartney...
The Bionic Woman was created out of spare, mostly human, somewhat female body parts as a companion for Colonel Steve Austin, a lonely former astronaut-become-cyborg, after she dove headfirst into a cow patty from a height of 12,000 feet in an attempt to decorate a clover patch with her remains. Before her tragic accident, she had been a tennis player known for her wicked backhand. Rebuilt by Dr...
Scientists agree bionic lenses will be available in the next 10 years and commercial concerns are already queuing up to take advantage. Aside from the obvious applications the lens which fits over your eye offers: SatNav directions and assembly instructions, all beamed straight to the eye. Other ideas are now being suggested like: the one from Barnstable's 'Eye Eye Lovely' called an 'X-Ray Eye...
Hospital patients are to be fitted with new bionic lenses which will project images of Health Secretary Andrew Lansley telling lies on a continuous loop. The lenses, which will allow wearers to read floating lies or view computer-generated images...
The electronic implant which has helped blind people to see is seen by most people as a marvellous leap forward, or at least thought to be a marvellous leap forward by some who haven't had it yet, but a group of religious fanatics is threatening to d...
The man who was fitted with the world's first mind-controlled prosthetic arms died today, when he lost control of his car, veered off the road and crashed into a tree. Mr Gideon Handlebar lost both his arms in an agricultural accident, but was abl...
A bionic arm, not the driver, caused a huge crash in Austria today. The driver and owner of the bionic arm who was lucky to get out alive gave the following explanation to the Polizei: "I vanted to go left, my arm vanted to go right and ve cras...
Steve Austin, the retired astronaut and government agent who was the first man outfitted with "bionic" limbs, has been denied any "tune-up" funds in the now multi-trillion dollar bailout. In the crash of an experimental vehicle in 1974, Colonel Aust...
Jamie Sommers will once again run in slow motion across American television screens. NBC had announced that a new version of "The Bionic Woman" will be in their fall line-up.
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.
