The religious community has been in a state of uproar since the news this week that God has come out as transgender. We should clarify that we are referring to Yahweh/Jehovah, the God of the Israelites, as portrayed in the old and New Testaments, and…
Corinthians 13:4-8 (from the DJTV) 4 Trump is not patient, Trump is not kind. He envies everyone, he boasts like a drunken soldier, he is proud. 5 He dishonors others, he is self-seeking, he is easily angered, he keeps a long record of wrongs. 6 T…
Men beware, it has been discovered by Mormon, Arabic, and Indian Scientists-and U.S. Evangelicals, that many wives have ‘borderline personality disorder'. For example, they want equal say when you are purchasing a car or house. They want you t…
President Donald Trump is said to have claimed he has an “original copy of the Bible signed by the author.” The President reportedly told a small group of religious advisors and a visiting White House tour group that he obtained the “first edition f…
SHEOL—Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the new Press Secretary for Satan, announced today that the Dark Lord is opening a new circle in Hell, specifically for the overflow of Evangelicals who have been flooding His underworld domain ever since the 2016 electi…
A man who was the pillion passenger on a motorbike traveling on a country road this morning, suffered a somewhat debilitating circumstance, when a speck of dust entered his eye socket, causing him excrutiating pain. Moys Kenwood, 57, said: "The…
The Bible is an interesting book. Many people have read it, all over the world. But, as well as being interesting and widely-read, it can also be a difficult read, and much of its content often needs much further explanation before one can understand...
Two things are certain about the bible: animals were harmed during its production, and cats are not mentioned anywhere in it. If you care to, you can find calves and camels, canker worms and cattle, cocks and colts, crickets and crocodiles, but no ca...
Waterpower B.C. Moses whose last book "The Old Testament" sold more than 12 billion copies says he is suing the Trump administration for copyright infringement. "Who does he think he is anyway? I can't pick up a tablet without reading about some n...
Washington - Several months ago, members of the Evangelical Right movement pounced on Senator Elizabeth Warren for claiming Native American ancestry based on family stories rather than DNA testing, which was not available decades ago at the time of...
THE VATICAN—Pope Francis, in his new encyclical Masturbationes Licit, has now opened the practice of masturbation to some, but not all, Catholics. Said Pope Francis, “Given that our esteemed clergy appear to have—how do you say?—too much unrequited...
A family from Ventnor are trying to sue 2017 for being too modern. "There's a natural order in the universe," said father of two, Dick Womble. "And that's the order ordained by God." According to Mr Womble, the invention of indoor plumbing, su...
The original Holy Text was discovered this week at a remote Middle Eastern location no one has ever heard of. Using radio carbon dating, researchers were able to determine that the bible was approximately 4,000 years old, eerily close to two times 2...
In a late afternoon press conference, Jesus made a shocking confession: "I screwed up." "I don't get to say that very often, but remember that I'm only mostly divine, you know? Nobody's perfect - well, except my dad. The Creator rarely messes up,...
Lynchburg, VA--Donald Trump, speaking at Liberty University, the conservative Baptist college first endowed by Jerry Falwell, Jr., began his address to his young audience by booming, "I love the Bible! The Bible is the greatest book ever written! I...
Last year, archaeologists digging in Iraq near Al Kifi discovered what they claimed was the tomb of the Hebrew Prophet Ezekiel. World media made light of the find because it had always been believed that the great prophet was buried in England at Wes...
'Em Lord is us shepherd; us shall not lack. 'E shall make us to be lyin' down in all 'em pastures green, aye lad; 'e is leadin' at me beside all 'em still waters, oo eck! 'E has been revivin' at us Northern Souls; 'im guides me in all them paths of rahteousness for 'is name's sake 'n' that. Aye, though I shall be walkin' through 'em valley of that shadow of death, as it were; I shall not...
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