Washington DC: Congress has gotten wind of another Solyndra type corporate bankruptcy that will cost US taxpayers $500 million. President Obama authorized the Department of Energy (DOE) to fund Gastronomics to design and build a prototype model of...
The 83rd International Baked Bean Festival at the O2 Arena in London erupted in chaotic scenes as fights broke out between rival groups over the Finest Accompaniment To Baked Beans Award category. Adherents of toast were particularly vociferous, a...
UK baked bean producers are reportedly "ecstatic" about an unprecedented surge in popularity in France and are taking steps to dramatically increase the production figures for the humble haricot in tomato sauce. In a tin. The French have a history...
News just in - There's been an astonishing twist of events just off the Bembridge shoreline as spectacularly large shoals of baked beans began amassing just yards out to sea. Crowds of local children - many wearing odd socks - who were initially l...
"Workers at food giant Heinz are to go on strike in a pay row. Unite said its members at the firm's factory in Wigan will walk out for 24 hours from next Wednesday evening and launch a continuous ban on overtime." Residents of the U.K. are rush...
South America - Venezoolian President Ugo Chevy reacted to Mr. Satan who mouthed off pretty bad. Mr. Satan, of Columbia, said he just might invade Venezoolia to look for Farcs. "We know how they drop cans of beans and then send in dogs to find...
Sao Paulo - 4067 Bean counters from a Sao Paulo bean packing factory are calling on comrades throughout the country to come out on strike in support of their impending redundancy. Factory owners have decided to dispense of human bean counters, who...
American researchers working with mice have discovered that hydrogen sulphide, technically known as 'fart gas', relaxes blood vessels and lowers blood pressure. The gas is one of the principle noxious ingredients in particularly rancid flatulence.
There was chaos in the financial markets today, when the price of one of the world's most popular commodities - Baked Beans - hit a 60-year high, which was brilliant news for investors. Beans, made from haricot beans, are the staple diet of all 60...
"Oops! That's torn it" - That was the chilling phrase that mum of two Doreen Plectrum heard when she least wanted to.
Opinions, it is said, are like elbows—everyone has two. Well, perhaps there are a few more one-armed men or women out there who have one, but that is the business of fictional characters like Richard Kimble, not me. I am concerned with criticism and you should be, too, because it usually doesn’t amount to a hill of beans what other people think of you. Let me spin a story for you that exemplifies...
An investigation has begun in Buck palace after it was discovered that the Queen had eaten liver, fava beans and a nice Chianti.
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