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Funny satire stories about Bank Robbery

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Funny story: Man Pops A Cap In His Own Ass

Man Pops A Cap In His Own Ass

A man who had been practising for a bank robbery he had been planning, came unstuck earlier today when he had an accident with a loaded gun, and shot himself in his bottom. The incident happened in a field near the home of Ken Moyswood (not real n…

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Funny story: Man Is Going To Rob A Bank

Man Is Going To Rob A Bank

An Englishman whose mind is in absolute turmoil with regard to how he is going to ensure the well-being of his young family after his own death, is going to rob a bank. The extremely ambitious plan was hatched today by Ken Moyswood (not real name)…

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Funny story: Mummy Robs Halifax Building Society

Mummy Robs Halifax Building Society

A Halifax Building Society in Slough was the victim of an armed robbery earlier today. Customers were shocked to be confronted by a fully-masked raider brandishing a shotgun. Det Inspector Mike Artridge said, "This was a massively frightening expe…

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Funny story: Durango Police Make An Extremely Unusual Arrest

Durango Police Make An Extremely Unusual Arrest

DURANGO, Colorado – Durango’s Prospectors Bank was nearly robbed yesterday, by an individual who wore a Denver Broncos Coronavirus medical mask. Bank teller, Concordia Dewdusky, 51, told police that a tall Peruvian man with a parrot on his shoulde...

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Funny story: Edge City Police Rule Bank Robbery As a Non-Crime, Implying That the Bank Brought it Upon Themselves

Edge City Police Rule Bank Robbery As a Non-Crime, Implying That the Bank Brought it Upon Themselves

EDGE CITY, NY – After hours of investigating this morning's robbery of the Edge City Bank, Police Commissioner Ben Gothan declared that the robbery was a non-crime. Detective Mitch Callaway addressed the assembled press with a pre-written statemen...

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Funny story: Did You Hear the One about Two Nuns Who Tried to Rob a Bank?

Did You Hear the One about Two Nuns Who Tried to Rob a Bank?

It's true, it's true. This is no joke. It happened in Pennsylvania recently. Two women in nun's garb held up bank tellers and demanded cash. The would-be robbers became scaredy cats and ran away empty handed when a teller set off an alarm. The...

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Funny story: Spellbound Females

Spellbound Females

Aug. 23rd, 1973 two machine-gun carrying criminals entered a bank in Stockholm, Sweden. They held 4 hostages, 3 women and one man; strapped them with dynamite, for 131 hours, until they were finally rescued on Aug. 28th. Strangely enough, during the hostage taking, it was observed that hostages had formed a favorable baffling attitude towards their captors, rather than the rescue team! Psychologis...

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Funny story: 70 year old US man robs bank to escape his missus!

70 year old US man robs bank to escape his missus!

Mr Lawrence Ripple (Name not changed for legal reasons; this story is just so ridiculous it's true!) from Kansas, USA, decided to rob a local bank; not because he was destitute, bankrupt or just wanted to escape Trump bullshit, no! He robbed the b...

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Funny story: Robber, Bill Reid, robbed bank with can of Coke

Robber, Bill Reid, robbed bank with can of Coke

A Ramsgate man robbed a bank two days before Christmas and escaped with a large amount of money. Bill Reid armed himself with a can of Coca Cola and held up a security guard delivering cash and Coke cans to a Nat West Bank in the town. But when...

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Funny story: Haggis Arrested Following Robbery

Haggis Arrested Following Robbery

Coppers have rounded up a runaway gang of vagrant haggis bank robbers in the highlands. The haggis, of which there were eighteen, were found running around in circles in a swamp on Glen Regis with a sack full of Swiss bank notes and a barrel of b...

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Funny story: Bank Manager Accused of Planning Robbery Just to Get Floors Cleaned

Bank Manager Accused of Planning Robbery Just to Get Floors Cleaned

"The robber burst through the doors and ordered us all to lie on the floor or else he'd shoot us," said Skweezola Bank customer Altima deNissan, adding, "It was horrible." According to police, the robbery was actually staged by the bank manager...

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Funny story: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid re-make

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid re-make

It has been rumoured that Mark Thomas of Great Britain is currently working with Michael Moore of the US of A to do a complete re-make of the classic bank robbery film "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid". The storyline has been updated to take ac...

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Funny story: Bank robbed...by a gorilla, nobody saw a thing

Bank robbed...by a gorilla, nobody saw a thing

The Dorking high street bank, Dorking High Street Bank of Dorking, was robbed on Friday morning by a daring bank robber. Although later analysis of the CCTV footage clearly showed the robber, nobody in the bank saw the robber, and the vast majority o...

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Funny story: RBS propose to pay Chief Executive £7m, and investment Executive £5m Bonus!

RBS propose to pay Chief Executive £7m, and investment Executive £5m Bonus!

The Guardian: The Royal Bank of Scotland proposes to give a £5million bonus to its investment banking chief, with another £7million for its chief executive More than three years after bankers brought the country to the brink of collapse, their cavalier destruction of British businesses goes on and on. Look at Peacocks, the retailer which employs more than 10,000 across the UK. At the heig...

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Funny story: Revealed: Obama was a bank robber

Revealed: Obama was a bank robber

Rival politicians, keen on derailing the Obama-train are reporting that when Obama was in high school, he stole pistols from military bases, and used the pistols in commission of a robbery. He would apparently rob wads of cash from the banks, wear...

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Funny story: Brazen Bank Robber In A Wheel Chair Holds Up The Second National Bank of Baltimore

Brazen Bank Robber In A Wheel Chair Holds Up The Second National Bank of Baltimore

BALTIMORE - In what many local law enforcement authorities are calling the most brazen bank robbery in Baltimore's history, a man in a wheel chair entered Baltimore's Second National Bank and held it up. The robber who has been identified as Barnw...

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Funny story: "Granddad Bandit" Arrested After He Calls FBI to Complain About His Nickname

"Granddad Bandit" Arrested After He Calls FBI to Complain About His Nickname

BATON ROUGE, La. - Michael Francis Mara is accused of robbing banks throughout the eastern US. In all, he's said to have robbed at least 25 banks in 13 states over the past two years. He would still be out there robbing banks if it weren't for the bi...

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