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Funny satire stories about Babies

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Funny story: Man Sees His Own Image In Diaper Full Of Shit

Man Sees His Own Image In Diaper Full Of Shit

We've seen them all in the past, the images of Jesus in a privet, in a dollop of mashed potatoes, in a bowl of porridge, and in the background of someone's photo, but there was the crowning glory of these sightings this week, when a man saw his own i…

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Funny story: Baby Still Hasn't Stopped Crying

Baby Still Hasn't Stopped Crying

A baby boy born in early July, who started as he meant to go on, by bawling for all he was worth the moment he emerged into the open air, still hasn't stopped crying, even though it's now September. The tot, who was only just over 2 kilos in weigh…

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Funny story: Radical Treatment Used On Tiny Baby

Radical Treatment Used On Tiny Baby

A newborn baby boy who won't stop crying and who was examined by a person totally unqualified to do so, was pronounced to be suffering from a pain in his mouth, whereupon a radical but regularly-used system of treatment was begun. Zee-gar-see, who…

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Funny story: Baby Given Stupid Name

Baby Given Stupid Name

It's always a blissful experience when babies are born, with parents gazing lovingly at their new addition, its beautiful eyes, adorable nose, little fingers and toes, and, in order to cause maximum embarrassment to its grandparents, wondering what k…

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Funny story: The C-19 Stay-in-Your-Home Baby Boom Will Hit in January

The C-19 Stay-in-Your-Home Baby Boom Will Hit in January

NEW YORK CITY – The National Institute of Births has just released statistics that show that the nation can expect a huge spike in baby births in January (nine months from now). NIB Executive Director, Dr. Grover Kimkullen, said that with the new...

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Funny story: Weighted-Blanket Death Syndrome on the Rise

Weighted-Blanket Death Syndrome on the Rise

WEST CHESTER--A seventy-five-year-old woman, whose name was being withheld at press time, was found dead in her apartment yesterday afternoon, trapped by the weighted blanket under which she had been pinned for some time. Neighbors, who had not seen...

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Funny story: Neighbors' Baby Uglier Than Shit

Neighbors' Baby Uglier Than Shit

Fairbury, Nebraska - A local couple gave birth to their first child Tuesday, and, according to their neighbor, the baby is uglier than shit. The ugly baby was born to Sarah and Michael Austin of Fairbury. Neighbor, Sal Greene, a 65-year-old writer...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Finds Asking About People's Babies Highly Effective Way of Procrastinating at Work

Nashville Man Finds Asking About People's Babies Highly Effective Way of Procrastinating at Work

Curtis Johnson, a 27-year-old professional who prides himself on working smart but definitely not hard, stumbled upon a highly effective means of procrastinating at work when, a little while before a big department meeting at which Curtis was expecte...

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Funny story: Hitler Was A Baby Once, Photos Prove

Hitler Was A Baby Once, Photos Prove

News is emerging from southern Germany tonight, to the effect that Adolf Hitler, the former chancellor who lead Germany into the Second Worl War in 1939, and who was responsible for the deaths of millions of innocent Jews, was once a teeny, tiny baby...

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Funny story: Meghan And Harry's Baby, Archie, Says He Won't Attend Christening Service

Meghan And Harry's Baby, Archie, Says He Won't Attend Christening Service

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry and his wife Meghan, have a problem: their son Archie has said he refuses to be christened with the name 'Archie', and will not attend his own christening later today. The royal couple had planned to ha...

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Funny story: President Trump Popularity Rating Increase Based On Newborn Baby Data

President Trump Popularity Rating Increase Based On Newborn Baby Data

US President Donald Trump is now more popular than ever, and there are firm statistics to prove it! The US Office of Statistical Research (USOSR) has published figures which show that last year, the number of newborn baby boys being given the nam...

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Funny story: Literal-Minded "Babysitter" Nearly Smothers Infant but Successfully Improvises

Literal-Minded "Babysitter" Nearly Smothers Infant but Successfully Improvises

Adela Gomez, newly arrived in the United States from Venezuela and not yet fully fluent in idiomatic English, was confused but happy to help when her neighbor Anna asked her to "babysit" Anna's ten-month-old son, Nathan - only to comply literally wit...

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Funny story: Bungee jumping babies arrested in Malaysia

Bungee jumping babies arrested in Malaysia

The latest 'kick' for parents travelling through Southeast Asia is to allow their babies to go 'Bungee Jumping!' Local authorities are finding this latest internet hype rather 'bouncy' and have arrested parents waiting to send their babies on an a...

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Funny story: Born-Again Baby in Boston

Born-Again Baby in Boston

In more a medical miracle than an instance of evangelical fervor, South Boston became the (double-)birthplace of the nation’s first ever born-again baby, Robbie Fitzpatrick. While doctors are still struggling to pin down the scientific details. t...

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Funny story: Dr. Quigley Answers Couples' Fertility Questions

Dr. Quigley Answers Couples' Fertility Questions

Dear Dr. Quigley My wife and I want to thank you so much for your help now that she has managed to give birth despite the fact that several years ago I was told I am completely sterile. Your treatment worked wonders and we are both happy that she didn't have to resort to IVF which can be a traumatic experience. A. Simpleton, Bangor. Mr. Simpleton, you don't have to thank me as it was my plea...

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Funny story: Experts Confirm Kim Jong-Un Once Adorable Asian Baby

Experts Confirm Kim Jong-Un Once Adorable Asian Baby

Earlier this morning, White House officials addressed the nation in a press conference and confirmed that Kim Jong-Un, leader of the most tyrannical government in the world, was once an adorable Asian baby. The shocking evidence disproves the commonl...

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Funny story: Justin Bieber Is Wasting His Life Away, Say His Parents

Justin Bieber Is Wasting His Life Away, Say His Parents

A couple from Pennsylvania have spoken out about their concerns over their 6-month-old son who, they say, is "wasting his life away in idleness". Stephen and Karen Bielby, aged 21 and 21 respectively, were over the moon when Karen gave birth in No...

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