Hey, how you doin’? I’m Vinny Carbone I got one of those, whaddaya call it, Alexa robot things from Amazon or whatever. It’s a hunk a shit but my wife likes it, her idea, she says it’s the way of the future or some horseshit – future my ass! Anywa…
AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - The largest organic natural food supermarket chain in America has just made a name-changing announcement. A franchise spokesperson, for the company that is owned by Amazon owner Jeff Bezos, has informed the news me…
Now that a 10-year-old American child was raped and impregnated, then had to cross state lines to get an abortion, not all preschoolers may be so lucky. Sometimes it’s just hard to get a ride from an anti-abortion Christian without them preaching…
COTTONMOUTH, Mississippi - (Satire News) - A 97-year-old woman got her wrinkled old ass tossed in the Cottonmouth City Jail. An officer with the Cottonmouth Police Department reported that an Amazon Prime delivery man, identified as Tyler Montasel…
I went to the dollar store the other day and bought some lovely cheap crap, and when I flipped it over to see where it was made, I discovered it had been made in China. I went through the aisles of the store and found that a lot of crap was made t…
SEATTLE – Amazon’s Prime membership will become more expensive starting 2023 as the company cites inflation, growing wages, and transportation costs to justify the price increases. However, insiders reveal that a plan is in progress to build a sup…
Mega Multi-Billionaire turn-over company, Amazon, have proven to the ice-cold world they do have a warm heart. A convoy load of Amazon trucks has been dispatched to the Polish/Belarus border filled with electric blankets as a charitable gesture to…
Houston, TX - According to sources close to the new richest man in the world, he begrudgingly had to order a small part for his next rocket launch from the man that used to be the richest man in the world. 'He had to smoke 2 joints before he hit t…
Afghanistan, a nation filled with rugged mountains, valleys, and just happens to be the largest drug producing country on the planet is unconquerable proclaim the Taliban! Brits attempted to syphon off Afghanistan's major export many years ago but…
(To be sung to the melody of “One Tin Soldier”) Listen children to a story That was told not long ago ‘Bout a rich guy on a mountain And his workers far below. On the mountain was a treasure Where the white guy paid no tax ‘Cause our tax law…
He is the man who looks like the egg laid by Scrooge McDuck. Amazon boss Jeff Bezos, the world's richest arsehole, announced this week that he will be taking a trip into space on the very first flight of his ship the Blue Orifice. The spaceship is…
Paramount, Universal, and Warner Brothers: these are just some of the film studios not owned by Amazon Inc. (yet). The United States of America, a lesser-known studio known for producing those highly-rated White House Covid-19 press conferences, was…
In a shock move, Amazon have finally started prosecuting people who ask purposefully stupid questions about products on their site. The decision comes as campaigners ramped up efforts to pressure the consumer giant to get something done about the…
It's been announced in the last few minutes that a Coronavirus Think Tank made up of representatives from the world's leading powers has issued a strong warning to Santa Claus, telling him to stay at home this Christmas. Claus is known to be somet…
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Most of the reputable US political polls are showing that President Trump’s ass is toast, to use a popular southern cooking term. The Quintessential Poll, one of the most reputable polls n the nation, is going as fa…
For years, rumors have circulated on urban streets that anyone who buys from Amazon has to be gay. There may be some merit to the urban tale after Amazon's sales dropped when news broke of a transgender man being discriminated against at Amazon. A…
NEW YORK CITY – (Fake News) - Jeff Bezos, who is the richest man in the world, has just received notice that he is being sued. The government of Brazil has informed Mr. Bezos that they do not appreciate him infringing on the Amazon name. They i…
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