Despite his devotion to practicing the Eleventh Step of Alcoholics Anonymous by seeking through prayer and meditation to improve his conscious contact with God as he understands God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for him and the power to c...
“I’ve always been kind of an over-achiever,” said Chase Landry of Nashville, Tennessee, who’s been working hard to overcome his issues with alcohol. “The ‘just for today’ concept may work for some people, but I think it’s important to think ahead.”...
Determined to kick his debilitating drug and alcohol habit, Travis Jones of Nashville, Tennessee, made an excellent start on sobriety by limiting his periods of intoxication to approximately 50 percent of his waking hours. "Not too shabby," said J...
A lover of science and a self-described seeker of cold hard facts, Alcoholics Anonymous member Justin S. explained that, despite some superficial similarities, the Higher Power he uses to relieve him of his compulsion to drink is totally different fr...
New Orleans has launched a new bridge building programme not to relieve their traffic problems and certainly not to strengthen their defences against approaching hurricanes! The reason for building the bridges is an attempt to cover up the homeles...
Wayne Rooney has hungs his boots on the nail and hammered them into his coffin, he's retiring! Dear Wayne has had enough of training, playing, sweating, taking the piss out of United fans literally, and earning 250.000,00 quid a week plus sponsor bon...
Britain is to become the first alcohol free-zone in the free world because many Brit binge drinkers have had enough of puking at the weekends. Puking Health minister, Jeremy Hunt, issued a health hazard after vomiting at the sight of Brit binge dr...
They look as innocent as babies in an advertisement for starving children. Large, moist eyes sit unblinking over lips as flat as the Midwest horizon. Flies buzzing about their heads fail to visibly perturb them, as if they are so resigned to their plight that their last, best revolt is to remain stoic and not give the flies the satisfaction of letting them know they are annoying. They are Zen-li...
SNP plans to introduce a new pricing policy in Scotland where the cost of food will be equated to the alternative number of units of alcohol that could be purchased for the same cost, have been broadly welcomed. Health Secretary Nicola Sturgeon s...
Government proposals which could see a three-year trial of 'double-summertime' have caused uproar in Scotland after its inhabitants realised the changes could see their early morning search for the entrance of their local public house conducted in pi...
Alcoholics Anonymous have decided to close their Newcastle branch after nobody came to any meetings for the thirtieth month on the run. "We thought Newcastle would be a good place to set up an AA branch," said Alan Collic. "We'd heard there was a...
Hello! And welcome to the fifth edition of Alcoholics Monthly. First off, thanks to Gerald Nosegay for his informative narration on how to hide piss stains on the trousers. I did not know one could buy a battery operated iron. There are going to be some changes to the Christmas dinner menu. Yes, I know you are all up in arms, but the vodka bath has been punctured so we will have to go wi...
Otis Barleyhop, of Dunwhingeing, deep in the Australian outback, reputed to be the world's craziest recovering alcoholic did indeed fall off the wagon last night. In spectacular fashion. Barleyhop, (42) of Hisspead Drongo road went to to the d...
Nashville Texas - Breaking news: the alcoholic population of the state of Texas today stood firmly behind their brothers and sisters in the state of New Mexico, who have universally condemned the teaching of sexual persuasion to their children in sta...
(Somewhere in the world - Anonymous News Service) - Because so many famous politicians are flooding to AA after committing ridiculous acts of depravity, horrible driving and sleeping during Congressional Meetings, churches are becoming worried. These...
Alcoholics Anonymous, the rehabilitation program founding in the 1930's to aid those with alcoholism, began testing an outreach pilot program this month to curb sagging membership rates.
In a dramatic case likely to go to the European Court of Justice, the Acronym Alliance is taking the Automobile Association to court for tying up with Alcoholics Anonymous and accusing Arseholes Accredited of stealing their acronym.
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