Many things annoy us, from women leaving the toilet seat down, public transport, the price of fuel and annoying junk mail, to women who complain you left the toilet seat up, family members who come visiting and never quite seem to know when it's time they fucked off, taxes, computer viruses and people who talk absolute bollocks about subjects they know nothing about.
Here's our chart rundown of...
Here at Back and to the Left news we have what our psychologists have called "A overinflated opinion of ourselves and our worth to humankind". Which we always took as a compliment. So because were such a wildly read news team we decided to give out our own awards based on what was great and what was shite throughout the year. We have called them The Greatest Awards In The World Ever! Granted it's...
Well, as someone around here used to always like to say - when otherwise attempting to both stall, and essentially delay, the inevitable had to be there, would-be almost truth of their particular semi-sort of, anything but full disclosure-like, ring around a response/altogether never mind, so as to suggest that either they didn't hear the question, and/or (best bet) had no idea what t...
2011 is about to become history and the most memorable event appears to be a tie between the end of Osama bin Laden and Kim Kardashian's wedding/marriage. While the right is crediting former President Bush for bin Laden's demise, they remain silent...
Dakota and Joshua are about to be new parents, but the question of what to name their new baby is still on their minds. They want a name that gives the baby a strong identity without threatening other babies. While sipping a latte at a local beanery, they expressed their concerns.
"It's so important. Maybe we should wait until the baby can decide on it's own." suggested Dakota.
Google have released their top 10 searches for this year. Go on try them.
Top 4 'Do we' searches and results:
1. Do we have free will? (No - most will writing services charge a tidy sum)
2. Do werewolves exist? (Yes - Richard Keys ex Sky TV presenter is one)
3. Do we have a soul? (Yes - provided you are black)
4. Do weight loss pills work? (No - look around you for God's sake)
Top 4 '...
Sent by the senile pensioner who just will not stop sending this rubbish in.
1954: Average House prices now up to £1.900.00
2011: Average house prices fall to £228,095.00
1946: Cost of a Ford Anglia rises to a staggering £293.00
2011: Cost of a Ford Fiesta now from £9,495.00
1954: Her Royal Majesty the Queens estimated worth now £15,000,000
2011: Her Royal Majesty the Queens estimated...
What to expect for 2011.... It's not nice!
Rich will get richer, the poor will become desperately poor,
The prospering ones will be the Etonites, and the epicure,
Politicians, Bankers, Investors, and MPs that's for sure,
Haliburton with good sales of guns, missiles and armour,
Prospects for the unemployed if any, will be very miniature,
Workers will be like Oliver, not permitte...
Politicians today, are nepotistic, arrogant, and expense fiddlers all told,
Generally their an unsavoury bunch, disliking the plebeians manifold,
Although they do all have a big ever increasing bill-fold,
But not all of them are not as untrustworthy and bad, I behold,
Though they have the unemployed to be bullied, shamed and controlled,
And the unwashed masses must be inveigled, misle...
A sneak peak at the Spoof's almanac for 2011 predicts the effects of waning readership tastes regarding female genitalia, but rising interest in male enhancement techniques
as the world's population of heterosexuals continues to decline.
After studying the stars, especially Elizabeth Taylor and Marylyn Monroe and using my special powers to see into the future I can announce my Official Predictions for 2011.
After divorcing Prince Charles, who decides against Camilla being known as Queen Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall marries Royal Favourite Prince Andrew. As they have both been divorced (Camilla twice) speci...
There were joyous celebrations amongst Christmas-lovers today as the realisation began to sink in that Christmas Day 2011 will fall on a Sunday.
The anniversary of the birth of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour, which has so often come to pass on...
Ring In The New Year!
By Timothy N. Stelly, Sr.
Taking a page from the National Enquirer and other errant epistles, here are my predictions for 2011, many of them macabre. These prognostications are brought to you by Miss Cleo and Crandall's New and Used Crystal Balls, of Locust Ridge, Louisiana
JORAN AND O.J. FACE SHOWER DANGERS. Yep, The Danish Bad Boy "takes one for the team" after he is...
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