Death is ALWAYS around an unexpected corner. A person can NEVER be too safe.
FEAR not, friends. I’m here to proffer a very specific list in the hopes that it will SAVE lives.
Below is a list of the ten most likely things to KILL you in th…
These are very confusing times that we are living in, and it seems that with unnecessary shops opening up, there are a minefield of issues to go through. Here is our easy-to-follow 3 step guide:
1) Always give people space. 2 metres is the bare mi…
With fictional characters and arch-villains, Donald Trump and Darth Vader claiming to both be the chosen one, we ask, could you be the chosen one? Did you have any of the following character traits?
1) A massive ego
2) One hand, or two very small...
Out of ideas? Can’t find a proper gift for your 98-chromosome, bloodsucking monster’s birthday party? Want nothing to do with this child when it throws a tantrum in your local Party City while all of the other parents of actually decent human beings...
Switzerland! That picturesque Alpine wonderland, where every day is Christmas Day, and everyone rejoices every day of the year, simply because they are Swiss, and demented.
Is it all it's cracked-up to be? Read on, and let me shatter your illusion...
Holland is a lovely place, isn't it? And so flat! The perfect place to ride a bicycle, as flat as a pancake, with no impossibly-difficult hills to climb. Or that's what you think!
Here are some things about Holland that you probably didn't know, a...
He needs a decent shampoo, rinse, and cut from Vidal Sassoon.
He wants Stormy Daniels’ phone number.
He wants to be let loose carte blanche in the M&M anchor store in New York City, ending in a candy bath of M&M Reds.
He wants his scientists to examine Nancy Pelosi –it’s an ancient Korean cultural practice dealing with living mummification.
He’s out of nuclear warheads anyway, cuz Godz...
Over here at Back and to the Left news we are very, very busy people so bust in fact we can’t always come up with our own ideas for articles. So we take ideas from others. It’s not stealing as such more a re-appropriation of concepts from less talented writers and giving said ideas access to a larger global audience.
With this in mind we went through MSN news and found the article “40 Hilarious...
As a country (I mean the UK, you know a proper country) we have a tendency to fawn over people who wear incredibly expensive jewellery, live in palaces and expect the tax payer to foot the bill when their roof has a leak. So to play to the gallery as it were here are seven facts you didn't know about our future Queen Kate Middleton.
1. As part of the Royal Family she has several other titles in...
..Police interrogation officers get confessions by pushing the perpetrator into a darkened room with a random upturned 3 pin plug left on the floor.
..can openers have a 'best by' date on them?
..1% of household germs wipe out life on this planet?
..aboriginals when they eat grubs feel disgust when we eat caviar?
..we ever remember the exact amount when our parents asked "How...
"Trumpmas": A Top Ten List
What say we get the superficial similarities between the season's two hottest execs out of the way first, shall we? Both are known to be large, pale, white, hairy men with yuuuuuge waistlines and a habit of jetting around the world doing deals.
Here then is a Top Ten accounting of the "bright contrasts" between this holiday season's two big-shot CEOs:
1. I'm signing nothing!
2. George Brown, George W. Bush and his dad as well as Henry Kissinger, Barack Obama and J.K. Rowling are all tools, all phonies.
3. Hiram Abiff is an idiotic myth and you should all grow up.
4. Your controllers of the 'upper degrees' are laughing their asses off at the gullibles clinging to the lower rungs. Right?
5. Money is not God.
6. Sex is of no real importance...
Sick of that old sixties vinyl collection cluttering up the hallway? Exasperated by the pile of Superman comics in the downstairs loo? Let's face it, here's a great opportunity for throwing out your partner's junk. Exercise a little deceit - excuse me, I mean tact - when you're loading the car. "Hang on a sec, I've forgotten something..." you could say, as you dash back inside with a bin-liner.
(1) When she is in heat... the traits of a killer carnivore.
(2) When she is not in heat... the traits of a florist who grows his own flowers and/or to look smoochy on the dance floor.
(3) Money. Shit loads of it.
(4) Unanimous approval from her friends.
(5) When in heat... he must boast an IQ of three, know how to grunt with abandon and have a hairy chest.
(6) When not in heat... h...
Ten Reasons Why you are Skint.
1. Your parents want you to get to heaven and only skint people they fervently believe go there say the holy books. Your parents may wear Shamrocks, turbans, beads and feathers or Eskimo hats, it really doesn't matter. You are mandated to stay skint for the rest of your natural because it would break their hearts if you didn't. After all they have suffered for you...
(1) Claiming that you are "irish". Nobody wakes up in the morning thinking they are Irish. An 'Irish' beard has never been shaved by an 'Irish' razor.
(2). Seeking recognition for doing something exceptional. Taboo is that. That is why the Irish are hopeless at anything competitive. "Who da fuck duz he tink he is?" is an effective deterrent against the very thought of trying to win at ANYTHING.
In a survey from Thailand to Morocco men's magazine "U-R-FKD" discovered that men's taste in women had not changed over thousands of years.
Certain key traits however seemed to predominate over the centuries.
If Cleopatra turned men on with her brains as well as her beauty many more found success in the absence of both.
It really devolved to who the male was as women seemed to tick eve...
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