BIRMINGHAM, ENG. - The Moral Guardians attacked films today after Inhopeless went on a killing spree. Many spoofers have had suspicions about this all along. "Hmm..." said Lady Godiva, a spoofer, "He did write a song about killing people and going on dates. Very dark stuff there. I thought it was nothing... but now..." Other spoofers are as shocked. "I was trawling through the forums,"...
Yes! It's another song! Poem... whatever. Actually, it's techincally a poem, because there's no music. Well, it's an acappella song, really. Oh, yeah.... if you do work for a record label, I could be their songwriter. You know... Pull a few strings for your man Inhopeless, eh? "I'd Love to Go on A Date With You, But I Need to Go on a Killing Spree and Return Some DVDs (My Angst Has a Bodycount...
The headless body recently discovered in a Hampshire river by two local environmentalists has finally been identified, following an exhaustive investigation into local area dental records. DCI George Carter, of the police, explained to a packed pr...
Giving his first prison interview in 20 years, convicted killer Charles Manson has warned the entire human race that we'll all be doomed if we're not extremely careful. "We keep chopping down the trees, eating the birds, poisoning the bees, and bu...
London: A number of people have been arrested at a Hare Krishna restaurant late last night in connection with the murder of an innocent bystander who was set upon by diners in what appears to have been an unprovoked attack. One witness, a girl, s...
Police in Derbyshire have sealed off an area after a burial site containing the skeletons killed in what appears to have been a massacre was found by archaeologists digging for trinkets. The burial site contained only the bones of women and childr...
BIRMINGHAM, ENG. - A local Birmingham man has taken his pact to the extreme, as 52 people are dead and scores more are injured. Josh Coe, 21, had said he would 'kill for a decent burger', and after chancing upon a KFC restaurant he found a Zinger...
Kate Middleton, lovely wife-to-be of Prince Harry's older brother William, has spent the last few months choosing flowers and clothes for her impending wedding day. But this week she had perhaps the most difficult decision to make of her life, which...
The voice of my friend Shylock Humes was like an icicle snapping in January in the Fenlands. "No, Inspector, it simply will not do", he said. "Mr Herring", he continued, addressing the ancient butler of Pwthylliggrionngngrdngnadd Hall, "Inspector Stanley Livingstone-Stanley may be said to have a well-constructed case against you in the matter of the death of Lord Clinker of Llandrinndrbdriod...
Holmfirth, West Yorkshire - (Emotional Baggage): Residents of a Yorkshire village where the Beeb's Last of the Summer Swine sitcom was filmed are demanding answers. Was mother-of-two Marie Stewart's body dumped in a suitcase because of sicko copyc...
The Lockerbie bomber, or Abdelbaset Mohmed Ali al-Megrahi to give him his full techincal name, has been discovered by the United Nations to not actually be lying about having cancer. Mr Ali McGrath (Anglicised name) was released by the Scottish go...
London - (Pie-In-The-Sky): British mortuary slabs everywhere are to be fitted with high tech gizmos designed to detect alien-related contract killings. The discovery of links between UK UFO sightings and unexplained female murders has confirmed fo...
Statements released to the press today confirmed that Jo Yeates suspect Vincent "the jackal" Tabak has been moved from HMP Hoarefield, "up the river" to HMP Gloucster. The Home Office today issued a brief press release: "The suspect in questio...
Late reports are coming in to the news desk of an attemtpted escape, by Jo Yeates murder suspect Vincent "the jackal" Tabak. Police cordoned off a large section of the Bristol area today to ensure he could not make a getaway. Police are still act...
Brussels was today a hive of activity amid reports that Jo Yeates Suspect Vince "the jackal" Tabak could be tried at the Hague. The announcement caused shock and disbelief across the British media this evening. Information is very scarce at the...
Following the recent arrest of Jo Yeates murder suspect Vincent Tabak, accusations of case mismanagement and suspect intimidation have been levelled at the Police force. Reports suggest the police have done everything they can to ensure Tabak is p...
Police investigating the murder of Jo Yeates in Bristol have arrested a 32-year-old man after receiving evidence from eyewitnesses who said that he had confessed to friends that he liked eating mozzarella, tomato and pesto pizza from Tesco. The ma...
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