Monkey, the face of PG Tips was arrested earlier today after attacking a bin man with a machete.
Kigali - (Bestiality Mess): Thousands of endangered, rare-species gorillas have mutinied in their reservations ahead of George W Bush's flying visit this weekend prompted by presidential baby ape-cuddling photo-op fears.
Tehran, Iran (IPP) - Cubans awoke this morning to the heart breaking news that their beloved space monkey astronaut stole a Russian Mig and flew it to Iran. The Cubans had been training the space monkey so it could pilot a Cuban rocket in their firs...
A report by a senior policeman claims that many of the jobs that are currently the responsibility of uniformed members of the police, could, with equal efficiency, be undertaken by chimpanzees, enabling officers to g...
London, England - Everyone is familiar with the cute and adorable capuchin monkeys that are used to render living assistance physically challenged people. Helping them maintain their dignity through independence. The coupling of primates with humans...
London, England - Research on primates, our closest relatives, has revealed a startling connection between the sexual behavior of female monkeys and that of women: both species fake orgasms during sexual intercourse with their male counterparts.
CENTRAL KALIMANTAN - INDONESIA: A 20-month study of primates at this reserve has revealed - that just like their male-john counterparts - macaque-dudes are also known to "pay for sex".
The Los Angleles Angels of Anahiem, formerly known as the Anaheim Angels, Los Angeles Angels, California Angels, etc. released a press statement today saying that the beloved rally monkey of the team has been quarantined with rabies. It appears the p...
There has been a lot of talk lately about The Environment - that rapid poodle Al "Ring Master" Gore keeps dragging out onto stage like some rhesus monkey with a robot brain at a mad scientist's convention.
Kigali, Rwanda - (Diabolical Ass Mess): Thousands of endangered species list mammals including the fabled Rwandan gorillas are preparing to flee their World Wildlife Fun protectorate sanctuaries following the announcement that pointless peroxide cele...
Today's headlines have been abuzz with news that chimpanzees will trade food for sex. But what the mainstream outlets don't mention...
Greenville, South Dakota - Frou Frou, a primate involved in testing medical marijuana at the offices of Pharmco a medical research group, ate the lab's entire Goddamn supply of Goddamn bananas.
The Man in the Yellow Hat was in utter shock while appearing before a Minneapolis-St. Paul judge in connection with his pet monkey's behavior in an airport restroom.
Archaeologists in Scotland have discovered a new subspecies of Homo Sapiens, the Bruniens. it is believed that over ten percent of Scots are of this species and that our beloved leader, Gordon 'Girdn Brun' Brown is one of them.
Rwanda, Africa (IP) - Gorillas in Rwanda took revenge against poachers in the dark jungles of Rwanda last night.
Los Angeles Airport, August 11, 2037 -- Jackie Chan, one of the stars of the Rush Hour movie franchise (including the just-released Rush Hour 34) was accused of smuggling and held at LAX last night.
New York, New York - According to authorities, a man vacationing in Lima, Peru, was abducted, drugged and taken hostage by a pygmy marmoset monkey just before boarding a plane bound for New York City today. The pygmy marmoset monkey alluded TSA airpo...
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