WASHINGTON, D.C. - Michelle Obama says that she cannot believe how one little comment can get taken out of context and spread throughout the airwaves like a Turkish tsunami. The nation's first lady spoke with Savannah Bamboo of Political Salad Bar...
LOS ANGELES - Kirstie Alley has made it very clear that she cannot stand that skanky dishwater blonde talk show host Chelsea Handler. Alley recently appeared on The Viagra View and told Larry King that Handler is without a doubt the most evil, hat...
WASHINGTON, D. C. -- Psychiatrists privately suggest that President Barack Obama may be developing paranoia. "He seems to believe that everyone is out to get him," Dr. Hy Mann said, off the record. Another shrink. Dr. Si Ko, agreed with his co...
CHICAGO - Lady Gaga, the singer with the repetitive syllable, has just been named The Most Creative Performer in The USA according to an extensive poll conducted by Chicago's Windy City Community College. A spokesperson for WCCC Walcott Dungaree n...
WASHINGTON, D. C. - With the stroke of a pen, President Barak Obama signed an executive order by which 1600 Pennsylvania is no longer part of the United States. "We've seceded," First Lady Michelle Obama confirmed rumors that the nation's capitol is...
WASHINGTON, DC -- President Barack Obama has recommended adding dog meat to America's school lunch menus and military chow halls. As a child, the president was force-fed Dalmatian steaks that his Indonesian step-and-fetchit transsexual "father" La...
CLEVELAND, OH - An Ohio judge ordered Tommy, an obese boy, returned to his mother, Ima Dick, after she completed a year-long, court-ordered college course in diet and nutrition and the boy shed three of his six hundred pounds. Asked how they plan...
WASHINGTON, DC - An Infernal Revenue Service (IRS) superstar in Washington says she personally examined tea party groups' applications for tax-exempt status without taking action on them for over a year in many cases. "I just never seemed to have the...
WASHINGTON, DC - President Barak Obama and his wife, First lady Michelle, are reportedly separating. According to unnameable sources, Mrs. Obama is taking the couple's daughters, Malia, 16, and Natasha (alias Sasha), 11, with her to Martha's Vine...
MADRID, SPAIN - According to Jessica Wakeman, whoever the hell she is, a portrait of Michelle Obama topless is not art; in fact, it is not even "artsy fartsy." The portrait appeared on the cover of the Spanish magazine Clutch, which often shows fema...
Harley Quinn died last week at a Glenn Beck event. The 47 year-old comic assigned to Beck by The Ruling Authority choked on his own words and died on-stage before an audience of Mr. Beck's fans. The county coroner, a Republican appointee, ruled t...
CHICAGO - President Obama and the First Mama flew into the Windy City to attend a concert by their favorite band Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz. Before the band started playing their big hit "S.H.E.S. Gone And I Be So Friggin S.A.D" they as...
KALAMAZOO, Michigan - The highly reputable Giddy Up Public Opinion Poll Company which is headquartered in Kalamazoo, Michigan, has just named its 2013 Most Confused Celebrity. And this year's winner is Justin Bieber, who barely beat out Lindsay Lo...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Jack Nicholson recently won a $100,000 bet when the Los Angeles Lakers managed to somehow limp into the NBA Western Conference playoffs. And now the star of Easy Rider, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, A Few Good Men and Oops...
SAN FRANCISCO - Miley traveled to San Francisco to visit a fan who was recovering from inverted ear lobe surgery. As she left the hospital she was met by Voodoo Dupree a reporter with Glamboyant Magazine. Miss Dupree asked Miley how things were...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama informed the White House press corps that he received a text message from North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. The president commented that Kim Jong Un told him that he will stop with all of his missile firing rhetor...
Michelle Obama has repeatedly stated that she has no aspirations, urges, needs, or desires to ever go into politics. She has made it abundantly clear, after having talked at great length with Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and even GOPette Condoleezza Rice and hearing all about the behind-the-scenes happenings. Mrs. Obama has said that she wants to eventually head up her very own law firm a...
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