Cambridge: Dr Mike Cummerbatch has rocked the world of science by claiming to have discovered 'solid water'. The claims, which were published in the respected journal It's Science Innit?, are the culmination of 20 years work in the field of water.
Titusville, Florida. Water park tycoon Chester Draws rues the day he chose his famous catch phrase after being shot by business partner John Dodge last week during the opening of the largest water chute in history; it's 3Km high. Photographer Car...
GALVESTON, Texas - The Southern Water Institute of Galveston (SWIG) after an extensive two-year $7.3 million study has concluded that drinking water, whether it be tap or bottled is bad for you. Flora Belle Wetweather, president of SWIG, stated in...
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - With the cause of lightning supposedly still a matter of debate, and with theories ranging from the laughable to the somewhat plausible, San Francisco Onion staff writer and physicist Ginger Steele decided to weigh in on the matte...
A stunning new film posted on the internet has caused international sensation - showing a dog drinking water. The YouTube film shows Donny, a 5-year-old dog of some sort, drinking water from a round bowl. Already the film - entitled Bitch Laps...
The WHO (not to be mixed up with that 70s band) have announced, that after an extensive 10 year study surveying 1,000 people worldwide (0.00000006 of the total population of earth), H20 has a direct link to Alzheimer Disease. "Out of the 1,000 peo...
Mr. Brian Brain a Government scientist speaking on condition of anonymity today informed me that water was to be banned with immediate effect after traces of Hydrogen had been found in it during a routine test. The anonymous source advised us that...
A laboratory in Switzerland has made a discovery that will upset many a dieter who may have opted for a sparkling mineral water as opposed to a diet cola or other low calorie soft drink. For it turns out that fizzy water actually contains more calor...
The shower in my apartment has got me thinking about people; specifically what seems to be many women's all or nothing attitude towards the one's they love to hate, or is it hate to love? My shower works into this in a number of ways. To begin with, the hot water is not very convenient to my abode as it is piped in from a boiler located a full block away rather than a heater in the next room. L...
In the midst of the worst weather for twenty years, the Middle England Water Board has announced that from next Friday a hosepipe ban will come into effect. The ban will cover most of Southern England and will be applied retrospectively, so that any...
PHILADELPHIA - People ordering sodas in diners around town are very pleased to report, "No more chlorine taste in the soda". Sodas (pop to us out West) have tasted terrible in this town due to all the chlorine used to kill germs in the water. No...
Houston, Texas - NASA's new 'water recycling' system converts a once discarded human waste product, urine, into a life sustaining renewable resource, turning an outhouse into outpost at the very frontier of boundless space aboard the Intl Space Stati...
Scientists at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory confirmed today that water has been found on Mars. Using highly sophisticated telescopes and other instruments in earth orbit, they determined that the Martian surface contains at least three molecules o...
In a leaked memo last week it was revealed that every Starbucks in the UK leaves a tap running constantly in the kitchen. Mocka Chinolatty, head of Starbucks, on hearing the news, instantly interrupted one press conference on Minimum Wage From Tip...
Belgium Beer Giant Inbev has purchased Anheiser-Busch. The acquisition was opposed in anti-trust law suits by Coke and Pepsico because of their plans to dominate the global drinking water market.
(The North Pole, Mars) - In one of the most important scientific discoveries of the last 100 days (at least), the Mars Lander, currently making sand castles in the sand of the polar region of the fourth rock from the sun, has located deposits of ice...
Cambridge, MA - A newly released Harvard research study has uncovered gross inaccuracies in nutritional information of more than five popular brands of bottled water.
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