It has always been the believe of most humans, that animals, don't have feelings but that myth, was without a doubt blown away recently when a group of chimpanzees, were filmed caring for a dying female chimp, at Blair Drummond Safari Park in Stirlingshire. As the elderly female chimp called Pansy, lay dying others in the group stroked her head and made her comfortable. Her daughter Rosie, even...
Police in the southern Thai province of Yala have adopted a pig-faced macaque monkey named Apetrees in an attempt to improve relations with the predominantly Muslim - and invariably upset about something or other - public. Police Chief Hitmay Wiv...
Scientists observing monkeys have discovered that they enjoy watching human females undress rather than males! In fact they tend to become highly aroused as human females pole-danced and stripped in front of them whereby when human males did a "Fu...
Primate and gay lover say, "I do." In a rare confluence of legal issues that point out the problems that ensue when there is a conflict with the laws of nature and the laws of man, the ACLU and the Lambda Legal Defense have agreed to defend the right...
Former President George Bush says that he misses "Monkey" shows on TV and has purchased all the episodes to watch over and over again. "Monkey reminds me a lot of myself", stated Bush. "For instance he can see what none of the others see. That's...
When local woman Tina Trollop, 19, married octogenarian bachelor Johnny Wad, 89, most locals thought that the old timer had at long last found true love and that they would all live happily ever after on his monkey plantation in south Norwich. Bu...
Watching this popular show never ceases to amaze me. The other night a woman contestant was asked what she would do with the money if she won the big prize of 1/2 million dollars. Some contestants say they will help their parents or their fellow man etc. etc. This particular contestant said if she won she would use the money to buy a monkey. The host was overwhelmed to think she would nee...
Reporting from a zoo I discovered that Monkey's are not only great at throwing tea parties but they are also incredible mimics. Waving at a little cheeky monkey, I was stunned to see him flicking me the bird and gesturing lewdly. I pulled down my...
The "Banana Wars" in Europe, Africa and South America have been going on since 16 years (longer than WW1 and WW2 together) and at last peace has been officially declared. The wars started off when wicked, evil banana conglomerates attempted to ste...
When the inhabitants of the Monkey House at the Bronx Zoo in New York City learned that NASA planned to radiate monkeys, they decided, "That's it. Enough's enough." "It's an outrage," one monkey commented. "Just because they want to know the e...
All the town of San Diego is buzzing about one thing: Hot Monkey Love! Charley and Chim Chim, two new monkeys just brought into the San Diego Zoo went at it the first five minutes together, say zoo officials. "But then they have been at it with...
In a spectacularly brave move, British Chancellor and All round purveyor of Cock Cheese Alistair Darling has announced that he intends to head the Tories off at the pass and revolutionise Financial Regulation before the next election. In plans ann...
Michael Jackson has left his children and his entire estate to his best friend and companion Bubbles the chimpanzee, after the missing will was eventually discovered tucked down the back of the toilet. The simian mischief-maker is now the legal gu...
The same media gossip mongers that drove Michael Jackson to his grave are reporting that early information about the Jackson will has Masturbating Monkey inheriting the Jackson Shangi-La. MM, media star almost as persecuted as MJ, refused to comment...
Authorities of varying descriptions here in the UK have been alarmed to note an unprecedented rise in Monkey related activity. They told us that they aren't quite sure what it is about monkeys, or why they seem to have infiltrated the national psyche...
Following on from a TV documentary which depicted American couples who prefer to adopt monkeys to children, the British Baby Company (BBC) has lashed out with a stinging critical left hook at the monkey supporters. "What these people are doing is...
Scientists in England today today confirmed that apes and humans both have a common sense of humour, inherited from a common ancestor. Firstly, researchers played idiotic, unintentionally funny soundbites made by American Presidents to 22 baboons...
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